


Just Like the Leaves Change in Colors

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 22:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 49,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story in based in a world where werewolf packs rule over the humans. The werewolves are by far superior. They stick together, and support each other, a trait which was missing from the humans when the fight for the dominant species began.<br/>Werewolf packs tend to avoid each other, as the last thing they want to resort to is physical violence between others of their kind. But there has always been stale air between the Way pack and the Iero pack.<br/>This story begins when a truce must be made for the packs to settle.<br/>A dominator is always male. He is by far larger and stronger than the fertiles of the werewolf species. Fertiles can be male or female, they are the ones which are able to conceive a child with a dominator.<br/>Elders mate a dominator to a fertile, as they know which individuals will love each other unconditionally and be happy with them.<br/>Frank Iero is a Fertile, this is the story of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Innocence

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Red Darkness](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/14031) by dandygrrrl. 



> I don't own the dom/fertile, and nor do I claim to own it. This was originally posted on Mibba. I am the same author, of the story 'Just Like the Leaves Change in Colors' which is posted on Mibba.

Don't you just want to remain a child forever? The feeling of always having your mom to hold you, and your dad to give you strength. When we get older we lose our innocence and gain our independence. Our parents encourage us to grow and flourish and make our own lives.

When I was a child, whenever I was upset and craving love, my mother would lie next to me in bed and stroke my hair repeatedly and she would touch my nose with the tip of her finger. I would slowly fall asleep and I would feel safe.

It felt different now, like the memory was tainted somehow. My mother was stroking my hair not to allow me to fall asleep, but to wake me. With the last memories of sleep drifting away, and moving away from the few seconds between sleep where I would feel weightless, I fluttered my eyes open to see her before me, lying on her side to face me.

She stopped stroking my hair and cupped my cheek with her hand, smiling. My mother was such a loving person, and I could tell, not from her tears, but from her off smile that something was wrong.

“Mom?” I croaked out, the sleep still clear in my voice. She blinked allowing another wave of tears to fall over her tanned cheeks.

She remained silent, only now moving her thumb over my cheek to wipe away the tears I know had.  
“Mom? Mommy? Whats wrong? Where's dad? Is he okay? Is it grandpa?” My voiced hitched as my mind raced trying to think of why she could be so upset. She has never been this distraught before.

“Frankie,” her voice hitched with a sob trying to escape her throught, “Honey. Your father is fine. So is your grandfather.” We both breathed a shaky sigh, I was relieved that they were both fine, but she obviously didn't feel alight, she was still upset, and was reluctant to tell me. “Honey, you know the Way pack?”

Of course I had heard of the Way pack. Who in New Jersey hadn't? They ruled over most of north New jersey, and had a section of New York under their protection. Both of our families have avoided each other for centuries. It has always been clear that they are far superior to our pack, and its a miracle that they never took the south of New Jersey from us. Both sides new that if they tried to over rule us, there would be no question about it. They would brutally murder all of us without a second thought.

A few years ago they nearly did so. I was only a child, but I can remember my mother worrying as my father and all of the other strong adult dominators of our pack went off to try and calm the situation, while all of the children, and fertiles stayed home for our protection. For years it has been on and off, false threats of them coming to attack. But like everything, we have learnt to live with it. Life goes on.

“Of course I know the Way pack, why, have they come for real this time mama?” I asked in a small voice clinging to her hand as it still rubbed my face.

A few days ago, my father along with a few others and the elders of our pack went to try and make a truce with the Way pack. When my father returned late of last night, looking upset. I had never seen my father upset before and so, wearily, I left him with my mother and then came to my room.

Things started flying around my head now, thinking of the worst scenarios. Them taking my family away from me, or them mercilessly killing all of us, and ruling over the humans in the whole of New Jersey, claiming the land as theirs, carelessly throwing my family away as if we were merely a kink in their path. Vermin needed to be stamped out.  
My mother could see the worry in my eyes, and tried to stay calm for me, with a shaky breath she quelled my fears, “a truce has been made. On one condition we follow through with our end of the deal.”

I felt as if a huge weight I had been carrying for years had been lifted, but just as all things in life, what goes up, must come down.

“On condition, both packs must join together.” My mother told me, looking at me, trying to make me understand what she was saying without out her having to say it herself.

Our pack has joined with many small packs, and nomads over the years. Families wondering around looking for a safe place. Werewolf packs can only join together if a fertile and dominator from each are paired to be mated with each other. This way it leaves the families obligated to trust and care for each other. It makes packs on a whole much stronger and focused on the importance of loyalty and love within a larger unit.

I frowned at my mother, why was she telling me this? Usually when packs needed to bond together, the elders chose amongst themselves at full moon pack meetings.

“Frankie. The agreement was made that we both must put forward an un-mated individual who is of direct descendant to both packs.” My mother had stopped crying now, and she sat up. Kneeling so that she could hold my head between both of her hands. “Frankie. Honey. You're the only Iero left.”

“No, but, but... I-I can't,” I try to get out desperately, sitting up now frantic. “Wh-what about Marie? She is of direct decent! She can be mated with a Way, n-not me!” My mother was trying to calm me now, shuffling forwards and shushing me as she began to smooth my shoulders.

“Now, sweetie. We both know that's not going to happen. Your cousin Marie is only two. You can't mate that young. Just. Just don't worry baby. Your dad met with the boy yesterday. He is a very handsome dominator. He will make a great mate for you. He will look after you.”

Nothing was going in. None of this made any sense! Why me? I was only eighteen. I have always dreamed of being mated sure. I have dreamed of having a tall gorgeous dom. Strong and funny. Dreamed of him looking after me when it was raining, and rubbing my feet when we were watching tv. Dreamed of cooking him his favourite meal, to him coming home from work and kissing me sweetly. Dreamed of realising I were pregnant with his child. Dreamed of having a family together. Dreamed of growing old with him. But I always dreamed of doing that surrounded by my own pack. Having a family with him in the comfort of our packs mansion. Dreamed of rolling around in the fields with him in the summer, the same fields my parents took me to when I first learnt to walk. I dreamed of doing that with my parents to stay and support me through my dreams. Dreamed of loving a man I had known my whole life.

I thought my parents were always going to be by my side. To encourage me to grow and flourish and make something of my life.

But how can I do that now?


	2. Acceptance

Sometimes in life, you just have got to accept what you are given. No one is perfect, and no one will be perfect. Yet we still try to be the best that we can be. We try to somehow prove to the world that, 'this is me, and I am okay with that', and that we have to believe that others accept us for being. Simple.

Soon after, my dad came into the room and sat down on the bed with me and mom. He held us both in his arms as we cried, and did nothing to hide his sadness as he kissed our heads and held us tighter as he cried.

“Its going to be fine Frank. Its going to be fine.” He would keep repeating. Unsure of whether he was comforting me or reassuring himself that everything was going to be 'fine'. I held the feeling close to my chest trying to gain comfort from the moment. Never wanting it to end. Never wanting to gain responsibility and face my new life.

“When?” I croaked out. When no one answered I looked up from hiding against my fathers chest, loosening my grip on his shirt to look him in the eyes.  
He sighed and looked down, trying to compensate not answering me by stroking my head. I removed his hand from my hair and asked him once more, “When?!” I repeated with a stern voice which even shocked me.

“They're sending a car for you at noon.” He sounded ashamed of himself, as if the truce was his own fault and I resented him for agreeing with the elders that I was the only option.

“Well. I better pack some of my things. The car should be here in an hour.” I tried my best to keep my feelings calm, and to think positively.  
I will be mated, and I can help bring peace to my pack, my family. I will have a new start, I can make something new of myself and try to become a better person out of it.  
Maybe this is what I have needed all along; the chance to gain responsibility.

I got from the bed, releasing my parents hold of me and reaching under the bed for my duffel bag. Pulling it out, I walked to my large oak wardrobe in the corner of the room. Reaching inside I began to pack shirts and jeans into the bag. Wiping away at the last tears I will shed over this situation. It wasn't going to change so when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

My parents were sitting on the bed still, clutching at each others hands. “Mom? What should I wear?” My voice was monotonous, but it was better than letting my parents know how nervous I was about this whole experience.

My mom looked shocked at my question, about how fast I could change my mood on the matter. “Well... We want you to make a good impression on this man. How about you wear one of my dresses?” She smiled, standing up from the bed and wiping her eyes before grabbing my hand and pulling me from my room. In the hallway, were doors leading to other un-mated fertile bedrooms. Most of them here are younger than me now, as the majority of my friends have been mated and have moved into the rooms of their mates. I still see them, but I miss having sleepovers in each of their rooms.

My mom took me up the flight of stairs and into my parents room. We passed a few others, and they must have all heard the news as they gave me a smile and looks of ampathy.

“Now, I think I still have this blue dress from before you were born,” Mom let go of my hand and went to riffle through her huge rail of fabrics. “I wore it when me and your father had just been mated, he took me to the woods...” My mom always tells me stories of when her and dad had just been mated, and how awkward my dad used to be. Apparently he used to avoid my mom after they were first mated because he had always admired her, and he was afraid she wouldn't love him. “...It was one of the nicest days of that summer. It was fresh like spring but the wind was warm... Aha! Here it is!” She exclaimed as she spun around to face me with a light silky blue dress with white lace around the chest and hem.

“Wow, mom, thats beautiful! Are you sure I can borrow it?” I gushed as I held the cool fabric between my fingers and let it fall.

“Oh hush hush. Honey you can keep it. It won't fit me any more, and it will look wonderful on you.” She smiled as she unzipped it and slipped it from the hanger. “Try it on then!”

I took it from her hands and lay it on the bed before changing into it. “Honestly Frank. I have seen you naked before, and you have a good figure, why are you always so shy around me?” She huffed.  
I am really going to miss having my mom around.  
“Mom! Leave me alone, I am changing!”

“Oh honey. You're so grown up, look at you. Off to your mate, and so beautiful.” She held a hand over her mouth and gave me a hug, I could feel my eyes prickling so I tried to divert her attention.

“Come on, lets go pack up the rest of my stuff.” With a genuine smile this time, I grabbed her hand as we made our way back to my room.

The alarm on my beside told me that it was ten passed twelve already. I tried to calm my nerves, and I whipped my palms on my dress but the silk was too smooth. “Frankie, don't be upset, please. It will be fine.”  
I turned to look at my mom just as my dad walked back into the room, he smiled at me “Frankie, you look beautiful. The car is here and I've packed your things, I will take it to the car.” He passed me with a kiss as he took my duffel out of the room.  
“I am not upset mom. I promise. I- I guess I am nervous, and excited, y'know?” I looked at her hoping she understood.

“I was nervous too Frankie. Tonight will arrive faster than you think, and its all instincts baby.” She smirked in an annoying way as if she could read my mind.  
“Wait! What! What are you talking about tonight? What's happening tonight?!” Worry suddenly bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

“Now, sweetie. I have heard what you talk about with most of your friends at these sleepovers you all have, so I know that you know what happens when you get mated with someone, and what happens on the first night after being mated, so don't give me that look.” She said as she smoothed out the non-existent creases in my dress.

“But-But mom! I don't even know him! I mean... I didn't even think about tonight! Mom! What do I do? Oh my god!” I started to hyperventilate, and my dad came back in the room looking concerned.

“Hey, hey, don't worry about it, forget I said anything!” My mom hushed.

“Forget you said what hun?” My dad said placing a strong arm around her waist.

I could feel my cheeks fuming red, this was not happening, oh god no, please no. “Well, I was just telling our son not to worry about... y'know, tonight. He is getting his knickers in a twist over it.”

Considering this would usually make my dad laugh at my expense, it was a shock to see him with an understanding look.

“Hey, its okay kid, your mom was the same after we were paired. Don't worry about it. Make sure that the Way boy doesn't do anything you don't want him to do.” Surprisingly it wasn't as embarrassing as I thought it would be; talking to my dad about sex. But it was fucking gross.

Come on, lets get you downstairs. Everyone is waiting to say good-bye.

Grabbing my fathers hand and my mothers hand we walked out of my room which I had called my own for the past eighteen or so years. Now it was just another memory, or an empty canvass for someone else to begin the first chapter of their life.


	3. Reflection

Have you ever wondered if someone is feeling the exact same thing you are feeling. At the same moment, someone else, wherever they are could be sitting thinking the exact same. You could be staring at that person, but be unable to see them due to miles in between you.  
Or perhaps try to comprehend how many people are breathing in synch to you. You aren't individual, you are miniscule.

Thats all I can think about now. Sitting here in the back of this black Rolls Royce.  
Staring out at the scenery as it passes me by. Still. Calm. As if nothing had happened. The trees are continuing their swaying in the breeze, the children continue to play under the sun, and I continue on my journey to my new home, to my new life.

Leaving my old home was the worst, and the long silent car journey leaves me to replay my goodbyes.

-  
I dare let go of my parents hand even as we reach the bottom of the landing where family and friends in my pack wait. A few of them were crying, and saying goodbye to them was easier said than done.  
“Frank” My best friend Matt squeaked out as he came over to hug me, only then releasing my grip on their hands so that I could fully wrap my arms round Matt.  
We were inseparable as young children, always wanting the other around. His room used to be right opposite mine, and we would always sneak around the house at night pretending to be spies.  
When he was mated a year ago, I was upset to think that we would grow apart. But in all honestly we had more to talk about now that we weren't with each other twenty-four-seven. I would really miss Matt. We could talk about anything, we were more like brothers than friends.  
“I am going to miss you so much! You will have to write to me! Promise me you will write to me?” He pleaded looking me, with eyes which showed fear.  
“I promise! I love you Matt, don't ever think any different. Now get off you're snotting up my new dress.” I laughed gently, to see him giggle with me. His mate Dominic then came over and patted me on the back caringly as he pulled Matt away, “come on, Frank is late as it is, and he needs to say bye to his parents.” I smiled at Dom to show him my thanks, and turned to see my grandfather near the front door.

“Pappy?” I called to him, making him gruff and look up at me, putting his weight on his cane, he tried to avoid looking towards me, so that I wouldn't tell that he had been so obviously crying. The big bad wolf crying? Frank senior senior, was the head of the Iero pack. It was his final decision for me to be mated with a Way. His first fertile grandchild, and he wouldn't see him with his mate, he chose what was best for the pack on a whole though. That was understandable.  
“Pappy? Look at me, I am fine, see? I am not mad at you.” I said as I tried to make him smile, I needed to make him smile. I needed a last happy memory, before I left.  
“Ahh, come here squirt!” He called me into his arms, which I bounded at, nearly making us topple backwards. “I am just an 'ol grumpy man, who will miss seeing my beautiful fertile around! Don't tell your father but I always wished he would turn out a fertile, but instead I ended up with four doms, huh!” He told me, whispering the last part, and causing me to giggle. “Ah, Frank, why'd you grow up so fast, eh? It was just yesterday when I were bouncin' you on my knee, and now look at you! Causing mischief 'errywhere you go I 'spect, huh? Now, I don't need to tell ya that you'll be setting an example of us when you're up their, and I know you'll do such a good job they'll be wonderin' why they ain't agreed with us on the matter sooner.” He looked at me now at arms length, his cane hooked around his arm, and his smile off centre as if deliberating a thought.  
“Now, just be yourself, the man we got you up there is up to scrath, an' if he messing you around, i'll come a' knockin. So don't you worry 'bout nothin. Now give me one of you're worlds best hugs!”

I was left giggling after talking to my pappy, he would always let me sit in his office for hours when the rest of the pack ignored me for annoying them.

I looked around and found my parents waiting outside by the black car which would take me on a two and a half hour ride to the Way mansion.  
A few dom pack members had transformed and were wondering around the grounds on either side of the car.

Doms could transform into their wolf form at anytime, while fertiles could only do so when there was a full moon. Time of the month y'know?

Mom and dad were both crying again, and I was quick to grip both of them tightly, willing my tears away.  
“We love you so, so, so much baby” my mom sobbed stroking my hair out behind my ear before it would slip back down my face again, the bangs covering my forehead and sweeping down to my sholders.  
“We want you to call us as much as you can. Will you do that baby?” My mom asked, fear in her eyes that I would possibly say no.  
“Mom, I will call you so much that I will run up their phone bill!” I tried to make light of the situation and it seemed to lighten her mood fractionally.  
“Once you settle in Frankie, me and your mother will try and visit, and you are always welcome back here, even your new Way fella.” My dad said, his voice only quavering on a few odd words.  
Our goodbyes were short and sweet, there was nothing more any of us could have said that we didn't already know.  
“I love you” I tried to get out, but it sounded more like a garble. They seemed to understand though, and before I knew it I was in the back of the car, with my hand on the window, only glass separating me from touching my parents. From touching the life I know and love.

Even though I promised myself, I let a few tears slip as I stared at the home I used to call my own as it grew smaller and smaller in the distance.


	4. New World, New Memories

Old memories can change, and you can't do anything about that, you just have to believe yourself, that what you thought might have happened, actually did happen. Why would you change a memory if there wasn't a good reason behind doing so? And then you have those certain memories which you will never forget or dare change. How do you know if you don't remember things you promised you would never forget? How do you know that your life right now will be a memory you will never think back on?

The mansion came into view. I wanted it to be dull, and scary looking so that I would always have my true home to reflect on. But how could I? The home in front of me now was indeed that, a home.  
The human driver which had kept quiet the whole journey came round and opened the door for me.

With a nervous intake of breath I took my first step into my new life.

The gravel crunched underfoot as I lifted the duffel bag over my shoulder, and made my way toward the huge white front doors, as the car I had just been in drove away, back down the path.

I knocked timidly on the door, much more nervous now than what I was a few hours ago. The grounds surrounding the mansion were much like the ones back home. Only difference was that there were more trees here, as if cocooning the house from the rest of the world.

The door opened and light shined out onto the porch. It was only around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, but it was already beginning to get dark. Summer was over now, there were a handful of days like today in which the weather was still relatively warm to be only wearing a summer dress. Soon it would become colder, and winter will set in.

An old-ish lady was stood at the door, she looked frail but held a sort of confidence around her.  
“H-hello?” My nerves were beginning to get the better of me and I cursed myself for sounding so weak, “I am Frank. Frank Iero?” I breathed out, sounding more like a question than a declaration.

“Of course, Frank. Welcome, please do come in. Let me take that bag from you dear, it must have been some trip huh?” She said, as I passed her the bag, nodding an answering yes to her question. “I am Elena Way. I was the one which spoke to your grandfather when he visited a few days ago? Yes, thats right. We agreed to pair you with my grandson. Very handsome, and he will love you, don't worry about a thing sweetheart!” I nodded again, not to be rude, but because I felt like if I were to talk right now I would start crying.

She placed my bag down on the floor, and said that someone would take it to my new room, and not to worry over it.

“Are you okay honey?” I miss my mom so much, Elena just reminds me so much about her. Before I knew it, I had started crying again, and she brought me in for a hug, rubbing my back “Shh, shh sweetheart, I know its all new and overbearing right now, but you will fit in, in no time at all, trust me sweets, everything is going to be okay, don't cry.” I was being ridiculous! I just had to accept this now and get on with it. Its not what I always imagined, but it could be at least bearable.

“I am sorry, its just everything is going so fast you know?” I tried to explain stepping back from her hug and tugging on my dress.

“I know sweetie, how about we go get you something to eat? How bout that, have you had anything to eat yet today?” I shook my head no, and she led me through the house until we reached a huge kitchen, there were many tables and chairs and a few of them were occupied, some were eating and others were playing board games. When we walked in the room all eyes were turned to look at me. I felt a huge wave of nerves hit and I moved to the other side of Elena so they couldn't see me as well.  
“This is Frank. He has moved here from the Iero pack, and he is one of us now, so make him welcome, please. And, Oh! If you see my grandson anywhere, keep him away from here until he is needed.” She spoke to them even as she continued walking, so that her voice rose with volume as she moved further away.  
There was a counter with a stool, which she pointed for me to sit on. As she began moving round the kitchen I realised how hungry I actually was, and my stomach growled loud enough for her to hear, “Don't they feed you in your old pack?” She looked at me with raised eyebrows as she laughed; letting me know that she were only joking.

“Its nothing fancy, but it will get the job done sugar,” she said as she placed the plate of beans on toast in front of me. “Now hurry up and eat that, we have a lot of work to do...”

After I had eaten as much beans on toast as I could possibly manage, she placed the plate in the dishwasher, even after I offered to do so myself, she insisted.  
She grabbed my hand and walked me back out of the kitchen and to the hallway I first came to half an hour ago.  
“Oh Michael!” Elena called as a slim looking boy was walking past. “Michael, honey, this is Frank. He is paired with your brother, remember me telling you about this yesterday?”

The boy turned to walk towards us now, he had blonde shady hair which was gelled into a little spike on his forehead, meeting the top of his nose where his rectangular glasses lay.  
“Hey, I am Mikey, nice to meet you Frank” He said with a honest smile on his face, forcing me to smile back at him, as if it were infectious.  
“Michael, be a dear and help me get Frank ready, we still need to give him a wash and do his make-up, you're good at whats 'in' now aren't you?”  
“Yeah, I'll help you Grammy. If you don't mind that is Frank?” still not trusting my voice I give a shrug and a nod. Nerves grilling me. Soon I will be mated officially and its quite daunting, especially as I have never met my mate before.

Luckily both could sense my fretting and they linked arms with me and directed me to the grand staircase in the middle of the room.  
The white marble squeaked under my shoes on each step candles came into view and glinted.  
All of a sudden a huge grey wolf began walking down the stairs towards us, and we moved to the left hand side to let him pass.  
Elena tutted, obviously not approving of his behaviour “Raymond! How many times have I told you! Do not go walking around in the house like a wolf! Next time this happens don't think I won't tell your mother! Now, be a good lad, and go and fetch Frank's bag, it is near the door, and please take it to their new room, we will be in the bathroom, so just leave it on the bed... And go and put some god damn clothes on man!” She turned around towards me and Mikey shaking her head “Honestly, what will we do with that boy!” I laughed and began walking up the steps again.

At the top of the stairs was a large corridor leading to the right and left. “All of the newly mated couples live here for a while, so y'know...” Mikey began trailing off, smirking. What? I began to frown in confusion and he sighed “geessh! Well... y'know... all the rooms down here are soundproofed, so when things get a little loud...” he trailed off again wiggling his eyebrows. Now I was blushing profusely, looking down at the floor rather than facing him or his grandmother.

“Michael, honestly! What do they teach you in school nowadays, that is no way for a young fertile to behave!” she reprimanded him, and he hung his head low; ashamed.  
“Now Frank, this will be your room, and through here is the bathroom,” Elena declared, bypassing the huge king sized bed with red sheets and heading towards the white door on the right side of the room. She opened the door revealing a huge white bathroom. The bath was huge and it had various products around it and on the counter by the sink.  
“Michael, draw the bath would you dear, and add some bubble bath. Frank come here sweetheart. I think I have some eye drops which will freshen them right up, we don't want your new mate to see you all bloodshot now do we?”

After Elena has used the drops, she and Mikey left me in the bathroom, to freshen up and be able to brush my teeth while they waited outside in my new bedroom.  
When the water was cold and I began to slightly shiver I grabbed the huge bath towel, and walked to the huge mirror hanging over the counter. My eyes looked normal now, and having had a wash, my face looked natural and smooth.

I wrapped the towel around my body, holding it there under my arms. Walking to the bathroom door, I slowly opened it so that I could peek out. Mikey and Elena sat up and came over to me, pushing me back into the bathroom.

“Is it alright if I do your makeup for you Frank?” Mikey had the courtesy to ask mere seconds before yielding a stick of eyeliner and leaning my head back.  
“You don't talk much, do you Frank?” Mikey asked leaning back to admire the left eye he just finished.  
“I just don't know what to say Mikey. I am really nervous.” I told him truthfully, causing him to smile as I had finally talked to him.

When my makeup looked perfect, they both led me back into the bedroom, where my duffel bag was placed on the bed. Elena swiftly picked it up and put it in the bottom of a wardrobe on the opposite side of the room.  
“Right Frank, I know you're nervous right now, everyone is on their first night, just don't worry sweetheart. Now, get under the covers and pass me back the towel.” She could see the fear in my eyes, yet she seemed serious in what she instructed, so I did just that. I got under the covers and wriggled so I could hand her the towel back. She smiled at me reassuringly. “Nothing to worry about sweet,” she comforted stroking my now dry hair and attempting to tuck it behind my ear, for it just to fall over my cheek again.  
“Ew, I have been getting Frank ready, so that my brother can finally get laid, this is like... incest or some shit!” Mikey said, striking fear into me, him saying it made me realise how real this all was, and how soon it was going to happen.

“MICHAEL! OUT! NOW!” Elena screeched, causing Mikey to raise his eyebrows well into his hairline, he retreated out the door, shutting it behind him with a gentle 'click'.

“Ignore what Michael just said dear, both brothers are harmless, trust me. Now, I will see you tomorrow, okay? I better go, he will be here soon.” she smiled at me once more before turning the light switch off, putting the room in a glow from the bedside table.

I could only count my breaths now to tell the passing of time. It must be well past nine at night and after all my crying today, and travelling, it feels as if my whole body is a live wire, waiting for my mate to come to me in the darkness.


	5. Changing Opinions

You know that feeling when you are waiting for something so much, like the lead up to one of your favourite bands concerts; and so the months before, you spend trying to speed up time in anticipation. But then when you are finally there it seems to go by so fast that you felt as if you actually did speed up time and that its your fault as to why it was such a quick fleeting.

Yeah, well I don't feel like that right now. I don't know if I want this to be over with, or to slow it down and delay it from actually happening.  
I feel like being under the bed covers is slowly suffocating me. Waiting. Waiting.

The small line of light under the door changes, as if someone was standing on the other side. My breath hitches in my throat. This is finally it. I am going to meet my mate. What if he doesn't like me? He probably had a tonne of fertiles begging to be mated with him from his pack, and instead he was paired with me, to ensure our packs didn't kill each other.

The door directly parallel to the bed opened and closed after a few seconds, I didn't see anyone, and just as I was beginning to think this was all a trick, a pitch black wolf appeared at the bottom of the bed. Hazel eyes shimmered in the dim light cast from the bedside lamp; the only source of light in the whole room.

The wolf growled, and I could feel myself heating, a warm sensation spreading over my body; not from fear, but from lust.  
The wolf then nuzzled the bottom of the blood red bed cover, and began to crawl under the cover and up the bed.  
Under the covers I could feel fur on either side of my body as he made his way up towards the top of the bed.  
When I remembered that I was completely naked under the covers I squirmed trying to get away from the wolf, surely he had seen every inch of my body under the covers now.

Then I could feel lips. Human lips. Nipping at my lower stomach, tracing his nose lightly, tracing, getting lower and lower.  
“Ugh” I squeaked, grabbing the pillow I rested my head on. Fisting the fabric trying to calm my mind, and cool my body down.  
But then I felt hands grabbing my hips, thumbs moving in soothing circles, and then a hot mouth around the head of my dick, “Oh-uhh, god, please, please, j-just, p-please!” I stuttured out in between my panting.  
Suddenly a tongue dipped into my slit and flicked up, causing my toes to curl and my head to fly backwards, arching my back upwards while strong hands held my hips in place.  
Soon he began to take more and more of me into his wet hot mouth. Every inch of me was now inside his mouth, his tongue massaging my underside. He then began to slowly move up and down my length, flicking his tongue around the head every time he would reach the tip.  
“Uh, please, I-I, fuu-uck, just, please I-I” I don't know what I was trying to say, I just knew that what he was doing with his mouth was turning me into a withering mess beneath him.  
He hollowed his cheeks out as he fastened his pace, and I kept thinking that it couldn't get any better, and then it did. I felt so hot, as if my entire body was ready to combust.  
A warm feeling, hotter than my scorching body began to travel to my lower stomach. My breath was hitching and my grip on the pillow was clenching and unclenching. My eyes were wide open and staring at the beds headboard as I felt it.  
Turning me into a twitching mess, my whole body tensed and shook, my hips twitching up into unmoving hands, and a long moan escaped my lips. Everything was white, as I fell limp back into the mattress, looking down at my chest just as his head poked out from under the covers.

“Hey, I am Gerard, and please tell me you are Frank, or I will be thoroughly disappointed, and I would have made a huge mistake.” He grinned down at me, pink cheeks on a otherwise pale white face. Black hair pointing in every direction in an un-kept fashion, and the same beautiful hazel eyes that he continues to have in his wolf form.  
“Y-yeah, I, I am Frank,” I say, still breathless, and buzzed on what happened previously.  
“Well Frank, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. If you will allow me, I want to give you an unforgettable night.” He breathed, leaning down to kiss my cheek, and chaste kiss along my jaw, and down to my neck where he began to lick, nip and suck.  
Moaning I gripped his hair between my fingers, “Y-yeah, please. Do whatever you want, please.” I could feel myself growing hard again, and I hooked my legs around his naked waist, trying to gain some friction. I could feel him against my stomach. Warm and pulsing and big.  
“Uhhh-u” I moaned trying to get him to do something other than just sucking my neck. I wanted him inside me, I wanted him to dominate me.  
Anything, I just couldn't stand the anticipation anymore, it was killing me.  
I was hot, I was too hot. Our bodies were slick against each other as he began to revolve his hips down, occasionally rubbing his leg against me.  
“Please, I want you. So bad, please”  
He moaned and moved back to face me, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Please what baby?” He smirked, causing me to flutter my eyes at him in disbelief. Scratching my fingers along his shoulders, I lower my voice “I want you inside me, ugh, please, pretty please, I beg you just oh- oh god, p-please” It was becoming unbearable now, I felt as if I were about to explode if he didn't at least touch me.

Before I could ask again Gerard shifted, so that he was lined up to my entrance. “Are you sure Frankie? It could hurt you.” Gerard looked unsure now, as if he were afraid of hurting me. I nodded telling him he could continue. I guess the best thing about being fertile is that we don't need preping like a human would, we can just take it and go.

“Ugh-h G-gee!” I gasped out, fingers curling around his arms, trying to pull him as close as our intertwined bodies would allow. There was a slight burning, but I could deal with it. Gerard's eyes rolled back, and he was biting his bottom lip whimpering. Trying not to moan, thinking that he was hurting me.  
“Ughh, Gee, move, its fine I- ugh, please, I am fine, j-just go!” I moaned out, trying to get a rhythm going on my own, but doing so unsuccessfully, “Gee, moan, I wanna-wanna, I-I wanna hear you moan.” I begged as his speed increased, pounding me and rocking me down into the bed sheets.  
Sweat covered both of us, and cooled our skins when we panted close to their skin.  
Tasting and biting and moaning we moved together. He continued to hit me repeatedly over and over and then he hit a spot inside me causing me to scream “Ahgg—G-GEE, god, please, Fuck! Oh God, Oh God” over and over he hit me there dead on. My toes curled and it was as if waves crashed down over my body in even rhythms of pleasure, I was warm everywhere and my mouth was slack and drooling as he still continued thrusting into me.  
Pushing on and on, I could feel myself gathering energy to go again. This time I meeted his trusts halfway, causing both of our breaths to hitch in synch. He leaned down and sealed his mouth over mine in a heat mix of lust, it was sloppy as our tongues danced over each other, surrendering under his power I was at his will. My arms linked around his neck as we stared into each others eyes as they shined with pure lust.  
“Frankie, ugh,” He growled, causing my eyes to roll back “Fuck, Frankie, I am close, I-” He breathed on my neck, whimpering and nipping against the skin there.  
“Me-me t-too Gee, uggh I-I am so, so close ughaah” A strangled yelp escaped my lips as I came fucking hard all over our stomachs again. Tensing every muscle except my jaw which was slack, I shook, as the pleasure from my third orgasm of the night rocked my body.  
This sent Gerard over the edge also, and I felt him coming deep inside me, his pace becoming jagged as he rode out his orgasm and moaned around his grip on my shoulder.  
He lay on top of me, our breathing slowing and our skin cooling. With a grunt he pulled out of me and rolled till he was lying on his side facing me.

“You are so beautiful Frankie” He breathed, leaning to kiss the side of my face and wrapping an arm over my chest and pulling the red cover back over us after being discarded to the floor.

“Goodnight baby,” He said caressing my cheek and turning the bedside lamp off.

Well I was wrong, I guess, I did regret speeding time up, as I wanted that to last forever. Now all I could do was turn to my mate and snuggle under his comforting body heat and sleep this wonderfully tragic day away.


	6. Surrender

Don't think, when you think you are left alone with your thoughts. You realise everything in your life is fucked up and there is nothing you can even do to remotely change anything. You forget how you got to where you are. You forget what makes you, you. Thinking is consuming. Thinking is lonely.

When I woke up the room had a yellow glow from the window behind the bed. A soft breeze came through the window, moving the cream curtains in waves and carrying with it the songs of the birds in the woods outside.

Where was I? Sighing and stretching I moved in the bed, ready to fall asleep again. This wasn't my bed though, and a nagging voice at the back of my head was telling me that something wasn't right, something was different.  
Willing my eyes open, I could see what was different. A man lay next to me, the same man from last night. His black lashes lay softly against his cheeks in sleep, and his small pink lips were spaced as he blew a strand of hair up and down with his even breathing.  
Yesterday was filtering back to me, my mom waking me up, the car ride, meeting Elena, and then last night. Meeting Gerard, and have him make love to me for the first time.

How could I have been so willing to fully give myself to this man? This stranger. Before last night I didn't even know he existed. I allowed him to do things to me no one else had ever done, before I even knew his name.

I knew nothing about this man. I suddenly felt sick, being left alone with my thoughts, forcing me to change my opinions on what I did think was the best night of my life.  
I shifted off the bed, trying to move so that I would not wake the sleeping stranger.  
Looking down at my naked body I was disgusted. Not at Gerard. No, I don't think I could feel anything but love towards that man. I was disgusted with myself. How could I allow myself to trust someone so much so soon. My thoughts were irrational and I knew that, but that didn't stop me from hating myself.

Trying to get my mind in order I remembered that before Elena left last night, she put my belongings in the wardrobe. I snuck over to the doors and pulled them back slowly, looking behind me towards the bed to quell my paranoia that I had woken him.

I held my breath as I slowly tried to open the bag, grimacing as the low noise from the zip. Having opened the bag I slipped on some boxer shorts and grabbed some loose jeans and a lose tshirt which fell to mid thigh.

Thinking of my next plan of action I looked around the room, trying to think. Maybe what I needed was some fresh air, a walk through the grounds. To familiarise myself with my new home.  
I bent down and picked up my converse shoes and some socks, planning to put them on just before going outside. I crept to the doorway, with one last look back at the bed, seeing Gerard still soundly asleep I turned the door knob and pulled back on it. Locked.

I tried again, jiggling the handle slightly. No, the door was locked and I was not going to leave the room. In frustration my pent up anger caused me to let a few tears slip down my face, as I fell onto my knees, still grasping at the door knob I began to cry. No matter how much I tried to remain quiet, my sobs racked through my body, causing my hand to slip and grip at my chest and fall into a ball on the floor.

I was trapped, I wanted my mom, and I wanted my dad. I wanted to be in my home where I knew everyone, but I think I beginning to fall in love with the stranger Gerard. I am just so confused. I don't know what I want any more. I don't know how I turned into the person I am, and I don't know how I got here. I don't want things to go back to how they were, I just want someone to tell me what to do.

Strong arms hooked around my torso and I turned my face into his chest, ashamed of myself for showing my feelings. “Shh, Frankie, its okay, I've got you baby, I will never let you go. Get it all out Frankie, I will be here for you.” Gerard mummed, arms tightening around me, and rocking me in his lap.

I don't know how long I continued to sob in his arms, but I fell asleep in his arms, knowing I was safe and I was loved.

When I woke up again, the room was completely light and it was airy. My hair tickled against my face as it moved to the breeze, and the sun was warm against my bare legs, and when I opened my eyes I looked directly into the concerned eyes of Gerard.  
He must have taken my jeans off so I could sleep in comfort, and while I was asleep he must have put on his own boxers, but left his chest bare, to gleam in the sunlight.

For minutes we just stared back at each other, not daring to break the silence which wrapped around us like a cloak from the rest of the world.

“I am sorry about breaking down earlier, I-” Gerard interrupted my weak apology by placing his fingers to my lips, stroking down to my chin in a light caress.  
“Don't,” he started, looking back from my lips to my eyes “You don't need to apologise to me Frankie. You obviously miss your pack. It was stupid of me to think that you would settle in straight away. I... I shouldn't have done what we did last night, you- … You obviously weren't ready and I pushed you.” I tried to interrupt, but he put his fingers back on my lips, “No, please. Let me finish. We have only just met, and I assumed that you were ready before even asking you. Before we had even talked... I know that newly mated couples do it straight away, but I- I just didn't think. Didn't apply it to our situation. I just pray that you can forgive me Frank.” Gerard finished, silent tears running over the bridge of his nose, and down to the pillow.

How could he possibly think that I was upset from what he did last night. I couldn't, last night was perfect, he was perfect.  
It was breaking me inside to think that he had been worrying that he was the one to have made me upset. I wish I could have woken sooner, or told him straight away that it wasn't him, it was me. How cliché, its not you, its me. But isn't it always? This is why thinking is dangerous, it clouds perception of the situation and it brews feelings and changes memories.

“Gerard, you did nothing wrong. What we did last night, was the best night of my life. Don't think that this has anything to do with you, you are perfect to me.” He gruffed and frowned, yet I continued, “I just needed to clear my head earlier. I miss my pack so much, but I,” with a shaky sigh I squeezed my eyes shut so I didn't have to look at him, “Gerard, I think I love you, and I am just so confused right now. I feel guilty that I would rather stay here with, with you, than go back to my family.” opening my eyes I could see clear shock even though he was trying to hide it, his eyes shone to his true feelings, and I could stare into them, looking at him, emotionally naked, innocent. “I am ashamed at myself Gerard, not you.”

Smiling, he grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers in one of his strong large hands, while his other cupped my cheek.

“Frank, can't you see? You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are the most unselfish person I have ever met. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are so perfect to me, and last night was perfect for me too. Please, just do what you think is right Frank. Do what you feel you need to do. If you want to go back to your family I will understand,” His eyes glimmered with fear, he was helpless. “I just want you to be happy Frank, I will do anything for you to just be happy. And I don't think. I know. Frank I know we hardly know each other, but I feel as if we have known each other our whole lives, like our souls can read each other. I love you Frank.” Gerard said, gently placing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. It was perfect. He was perfect.

“I want to stay with you Gerard,” I whispered against his lips. Surrendering to him from the battle of my mind, it will always be him.

Just because I don't know how I got here, doesn't mean I can't make my own path.


	7. Hidden Knowledge

Sometimes I think of the human brain as a scratch card. A flimsy piece of card. When you first get it it it worth the jackpot, worth so much more than the amount you paid for it. It holds hope. What you will know in life, and in your future has always been under the foil. When we learn we scratch the foil off. In that sense, everyone is born a genius. Yet not everyone is willing to gamble and learn what is underneath, because as soon as the foil is off, you know the true value of that flimsy piece of card, and it is never what people hope to find.

Thinking about life like this, I can truly say that I have always loved Gerard. I didn't know him before yesterday, but I know that I have always loved him, or loved the idea of loving someone like him. But Gerard himself is so much more than what I ever imagined him to be. I felt as if I could learn everything about him just from being near him, in his presence.

“I want to introduce you to everyone,” Gerard broke the silence, after a timeless time lying on the bed facing each other. The sun was beginning to set, and we still hadn't moved from our positions, enjoying just looking at him, breathing him in. “Come on. You must be hungry, I'll let you meet everyone and then I will make you something to eat.” Finally rolling over I watched Gerard walk to the wardrobe, freezing before opening the dark wooden door, he spun to face me, his face flushed, “Uh, maybe we should shower first,” he smiled looking at the floor in embarrassment.  
I was giggling at him, acting like a child. His little pinched nose scrunched up as he head me laughing at him.  
He growled playfully at me as he stalked towards the bed. Pretty suddenly I was up in the air, his arms hooked under my legs and under my torso.  
I stopped giggling immediately, my face paled as he continued to grow. “Fancy joining me in the shower Frankie?” This time it was he who laughed as he nuzzled the side of my face continuing to growl and nip.  
My answering growl was not intentional, he looked up at me and I blushed when I realised he had heard my stomach growl.  
“We better make the shower quick then,” he whispered as he walked over to our bathroom.

The shower was indeed quick and innocent, we did nothing but wash each others hair and share a few sweet kisses. To be honest I was glad that nothing intimate happened in the shower, I was nervous about meeting his friends and his parents in particular.

When we were both changed into fresh clothes, hair still damp. He grabbed my left right hand and directed me to this mornings obstacle. The door. Lifting a key from a hook on the left side of the door, he opened it with a simple flick of his wrist. I don't know how I missed seeing that key there earlier, maybe it was the fact that I didn't look and I gave up so easily. Now I felt embarrassed at how easy it was to get out.

Gerard could sense this and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as he closed the door behind us and began leading me down the long corridor. Our room was near the far end of the left corridor and so it took a few minuets to just walk to the main staircase.

When we got there, a few children were playing on the floor with miniature wolf toys. “Hey guys, what you playing?” Gerard queried, crouching down on the floor near one of the little boys, and ruffling his hair.  
“We, are. We are playing werewolf hunters, but, but Travis is not playing it right, he, he keeps saying that the fight, is, is over! And it's not! Tell him Ger-reard, tell Travis he can't play any-any more!” A little boy struggled to say while pointing to another little boy at the opposite end of the circle.  
“Now, Tom, everyone can play, just make the game fit everyone. How about Travis is the princess that all of you doms have to protect from the human hunters? And when Travis says there is enough fighting, you all celebrate. More hunters will come if you are having a party, right?” Gerard tried to explain causing the children to look at him with awe.  
“Now, guys, this here, is my Frankie” Gerard introduced, lacing his fingers with mine and standing up so that the little boys could see me.  
“Wow,” the little boy Tom said, standing up from where has was, and standing infront of me. He grabbed the hand Gerard wasn't holding and bowed, kissing my hand “you are so pretty Frankie, will you be my-my boyfriend? You can play werewolf hunters with us?” He said, looking at me with hope in his shimmering green eyes.  
“No, Tom, Frank is my mate, and you are too young, you are only six,” Gerard defended, pushing me slightly behind him.

“Now, if you will excuse my gentlemen, Travis, it was lovely to meet you all, but we really must be going, right Gerard?” I tried to pull him in the direction of the stairs, worried that he would think Tom was a match for him. We were half way down the stairs when I raised an eyebrow at him, “So, your only friends are six year olds?” I quizzed, laughing at his cute shocked expression.  
“Wait, what? No, Frankie, I... They were just the first we came across,” He told me seriously “I want to show you to the world if only I had the time.” stopping me at the bottom of the stairs he kissed my lips fleetingly, causing me to blush and hide my face against his shoulder smiling as I bit my lip.

“Hey, hey, hey, my favourite person Gerard! Hows it going man?” a well built dom came towards us, he had blonde hair, a beard and eyes as sharp as the pale blue of a summers sky. He came forward and griped Gerard into a tight embrace patting him on the back in the manliest hug I have ever seen.  
“Yo, Gee, up to much? Fancy going for a run? Let the wolf run free?” As if this man hadn't noticed me, he continued talking animately to Gerard, using wild hand gestures to describe a new route he had found through the forest.  
“Well, Bob, y'know I would love it, but I am kinda showing Frankie round the place at the moment, maybe we could do it another time?” Gerard asked walking back to me and linking his arm round my waist and scratching the back of his neck.  
This Bob guy seemed taken back by me as if he never thought someone else was in the room.  
“I am sorry man, I didn't realise! Oh, and where are my manners? I am Bob Bryar, nice to meet you Frank. Are you staying here long?” He asked, looking at me as if I didn't belong here, it was making me feel uneasy and I moved closer to Gerard's side.  
“Frank is living here now Bob, we were mated yesterday,” Gee sounded annoyed at his friend, and his chest was bubbling as if he were holding back a growl, making me weak at the knees.  
Bob's eyes widened and he looked ashamed of himself, “Wow, man, I am sorry. I didn't know! I am really happy for you man, honestly! I didn't mean anything by it, I just. Shit.” Bob looked troubled now, as if he was crossing a boundary. Wishing he could take back how he had acted previously.  
“It's okay, I don't mind,” I tried to console Gerard's friend, “I am new, so I guess its understandable, no feelings hurt, right Gee?” I asked, nudging his side, not wanting to come between him and his friend I tried to smooth things over.  
“Yeah, sure, no feelings hurt,” Gerard forced out for my well being, trying to be the better man, forcing a smile at Bob and clapping him on the shoulder.  
“Have you seen Mikey anywhere, Bob?” Gerard looked around, only seeing a few others in the pack.  
“Um, yeah, I think I saw him down in the games room a half hour ago, you know him, he should still be there now.” Bob informed Gerard, looking at me with a timid smile. I returned it as Gerard said his goodbyes and soon we were on our way to the 'games room'.  
“I met your brother Mikey yesterday don'tcha know. He seems really nice, I really like him!” I smiled trying to get Gerard to forget what Bob said and stop frowning.  
“Oh yeah? And what did he say?” He asked me, his face brightening as if instantly forgetting his thoughts.  
I thought back to yesterday, and began blushing, looking down at my feet as we walked and avoiding his question.  
“Why are you blushing Frankie? Huh? What did he say that was so bad?” He asked lifting my chin with his finger and stopping me from moving. Looking into his eyes I felt compelled to tell him, so I opened my mouth and could only giggle at what Mikey said.  
Gerard growled and his eyes became darker, causing me to moan in the middle of the hallway leaning into his touch.  
“Frank? What did he say?” He forced again, worry was clear in his voice but why?  
What was Gerard so worried about? Mikey couldn't have told me anything which should affect him this much could he? Gerard was beginning to fret and so I put my embarrassment aside and just told him, “Mikey just said that you could finally get laid, thats all!” he instantly calmed down and dropped his hold on my chin, he looked relived that that was all his brother had told me.

Was there a part of Gerard I didn't want to uncover?


	8. Arising Questions

Freedom is surrounding, yet never overwhelming.  
Love on the other hand, is hard to find, and the simplest to find. It is both, it is everywhere, it is everything, it is what makes life extraordinary, and so very ordinary.

When we got to the games room, Gerard seemed to forget our prior conversation, and so I tried my best to push my worries to the back of my head as well. I didn't want Gerard to think I didn't trust him, at least not so soon in our relationship.  
Without letting go of my hand Gee stood on his tiptoes and looked around the games room, although to be honest, it looked more like an arcade. Old video games lined the walls, pinball, pac man, everything. The room was dimly lit but the flashing lights of the electronics gave a disco feel to the room. There were children everywhere, screaming running around in fun. A few teenagers were near the back wall sitting in black lounge chairs which faced a wall of tv screens, with games varying from grand theft auto, to a Wii quiz game. - Coincidently the only things you wouldn't find in an average arcade.

“BOO!” someone screeched from behind my ear, causing me to jump closer to Gerard and cling to his shirt. Hearing the culprits giggle I loosened my death grip on Gerard's shirt and turned to come face to face with Mikey.  
“Hey Frank, I gotcha good,” Mikey giggled again, looking from between my and Gerard “So, how'd it go you guys?” suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.  
“Mikey, please...” Gerard sighed, as if this were normal Mikey behaviour, picking on Gerard's sex life.  
“So sue me for taking an interest in my big brothers virginity! How old are you now Gee? Twenty Two? Congratulations! I should have made a cake! It's not like you have been pining over Frank now for more than eight years! Christ Gerard, thats sick! Wanking over a ten year old!-” Mikey was springing all this information on me now, what did he mean? Gerard and I have only just met.  
“Shut up Mikey!” Gerard spat, his eyes darkening and his voice low and menacing. But I was not feeling lust now, I was feeling fear. Fear for myself and Mikey.  
I could see Mikeys confidence shrinking and he gulped.  
“Well, anyway,” Mikeys voice was shy, and scared, “Mom and Dad are waiting to meet Frank in the office room near the kitchen in the west wing,” Mikey finally looked to me, “it was nice seeing you again Frank, maybe we could hang out sometime. See you guys.” He gave a little wave and then he was lost into the hustle and bustle of the games room.

“Come on, lets go,” Gerard said stiffly, taking my hand and pulling me back into the corridor which apparently led to the office near the kitchen.

“Gerard, what did Mikey mean with saying-” I was cut off by Gerards, surprisingly soft eyes.  
“Just ignore what Mikey said, please Frank. He was just trying, and succeeding, at winding me up. I am sorry you had to see me like that.” Gerard said, looking straight ahead as if he were about to cry, blinking repeatedly looking up at the lights on the ceiling as we walked beneath them.

I didn't want to push him into telling me what he meant, only hoping that it wasn't something I should worry about. Pushing the nagging feeling to the back of my mind.

“My parents will love you Frank, I promise.” Gerard said, breaking the sudden silence we fell into. His mood changed so fast as if I had only imagined the troubled look in his eyes minutes before.  
With a gentle knock on a dark oak door, he pushed it open on a muffled 'come in', and soon I was in a small room with bookshelves making the walls, and a large wooden desk in the centre.  
A man was sitting in a black chair behind the desk and he stood as we entered. A woman with flowing blonde hair who was originally perched on the far corner of the desk was already making her way toward us. Gerard dropped his arm from around my waist so that the woman could bring me in for a hug.  
“Hey honey, you must be Frank right? Its so nice to finally meet you in person, I have heard so much about you-” The woman pulled me back at arms length so that she could have a good look at me, making me blush, having so much attention.  
“Frank, this is my Mom, Donna, and my father Donald.” Gerard introduced, just as the man came round from his desk, giving me a hug and then a kiss on the cheek.  
“Its nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Way,” in a timid voice I looked at the floor, still blushing from meeting them and nerves from wanting to make a good first impression of myself.  
“Oh hush, honey, you're practically our son now, please call me Donna.” Donna smiled at me, grabbing my hand to give a quick squeeze before dropping it again to my side.

“Well, we were just going to grab a bite to eat, care to join us Gerard, Frank?” Donald said, his voice much like Gerards but somehow rougher, as if years had sanded it down.  
Nodding enthusiastically realising just how hungry I was, all four of us made our way to the kitchen.  
“You can all sit here and talk and I will make us something to eat if you want?” Gerard offered, pulling a chair out for me at a four person round table. Nerves suddenly getting the better of me as I would be left alone to talk to Donna and Donald without Gerard to support me.  
“That's lovely thank you Gerard,” Donna said as she sat down next to me, grabbing my hand on the table as her husband sat opposite me.

Gerard made his way around the large kitchen, sticking to a particular area with a oven and stove, narrowly avoiding others in the kitchen working in the similar areas.  
“So Frank, have you finished school now?” Donald queried, folding his arms on top of the pure white dinning table.  
“Um, yeah, I finished at the beginning of summer, to be honest, I am quite upset I have finished, I jut really liked the whole school environment. I am hoping to perhaps get a job in a school around here.” I could feel my confidence growing slightly, they seemed nice enough and I didn't really have anything to worry about.  
“Well I work in the school just around the corner, maybe I could put in a good word for you and see if there are any positions that you could fill.” Donna suggested with a smile.  
“Really? What type of school is it?” I asked, really interested now in the opportunity I was given.  
“Well, its a high school, for both humans and werewolves. But the humans are usually nothing to worry about in this area. Very sophisticated as far as they can be if you ask me, and very bright considering their species!” Donna explained in detail how the subjects were split and how the school was on a whole a very friendly place.  
Soon we were all laughing at her stories about what some of the students got up to, and I could feel myself loosening up around them and enjoying their stories.

Gerard was back and forth from the table, handing out cutlery and mats, and then he brought over a dish which was steaming and smelt delicious.  
He placed the dish in the centre of the table and took his seat between his father and me.  
“I just put together some things from the fridge so I managed to put together a casserole.” Gerard explained, removing the lid from the dish and placing food on everyones plates along with mashed potato from a saucepan.

Soon we were all eating and I felt as if I should ask about them, “So, Donald, what line of work are you in?” Looking up from my meal so that I could see him looking at me cheerily as if he were hoping I would ask.  
“Well, for the majority I work here at home. Sorting out the packs expenses and making sure everything runs smoothly. At the moment I am working on collaborating with your old pack to create a new building we can both move into. After all, we are all family now, right?” Was he being serious? This was the best news I have ever heard. I will be able to have my family and Gerard. I felt so happy I could cry, and to my embarrassment I did just that, silent tears of happiness, everything seemed to be looking right for me.  
“Dad? You never told me about this.” Gerard said looking at his father with a similar look of joy, happy that I was happy.  
“Well, you know how it is. Most of this project is under wraps at the moment, so you shouldn't tell anyone, either of you. The project should take a few years to complete, we will have to create a new house which is big enough for us both, so a house to home around 400 werewolves will take its time, we still need to find a place suitable, but the way things are going now it should go ahead.”

Everything seemed right, I will have my balance between freedom and love, not yet, but some day.


	9. Shattering

To give someone the benefit of a doubt, is easier said then done. Its not just believing the lie, its learning to live with it. How much trust does it eat away, left nagging at the back of your head, even after you have forgotten about it.

After the meal Donna and I cleared the table and began washing the dishes. “So, do you like Gerard?” Donna asked, passing me a plate to dry, “Sorry, don't feel like you have to answer! I am just his mother and I worry about him.”  
I blushed looking down at the plate and scrubbing to dry the already dry ceramic.  
“Um, well, yeah, I like him,” I said blushing red now, I could feel the heat in my cheeks and down my neck.  
“Oh thank god! You know, I was worried the first time he brought you up in conversation a few years ago, with you being in another pack and all that. But I am happy for the both of you, finally getting together after years of writing to each other, I-” Donna handed another plate to me and I looked at her in bewilderment.  
“Wait, what?” I asked, my eyebrows creasing causing a little headache between my eyes.  
“Oh, don't worry, I didn't tell anyone. I knew you were both sending little love letters to each other for years, but I didn't tell a soul. A strong dom like Gerard writing love letters before he were mated? I wouldn't dream of letting anyone know, and also I wasn't sure if your parents would approve and I didn't want word getting out! Didn't want your family to start a war on us now did we?” She smiled handing me the last plate.  
“Why would we start a war on you? We have been trying to avoid conflict for years. Thats why I was mated with Gerard!” Why was Donna making things up? I had never written a letter to Gerard in my life. Fuck! I only found out what his name was yesterday.  
“Now where did you get that idea from sugar?” Donna was the one to look confused now.  
“Can you excuse me please.” Walking over to the table to where Donald and Gerard were still sitting talking, I calmed myself down so that they wouldn't suspect anything.  
“Gerard, can we go now please?” I asked, sounding impatient despite my efforts.  
“Uh, in a second Frankie I am just talking to my dad,” Gerard not even glancing back to me he continued his conversation.  
“No, Gerard, I need to talk to you. Please?” My voice having an urgent under tone.  
“Go on then Frank, what do you need to say?” Gerard only now turning round to me. I glanced at Donald and now Donna who was standing behind Gerard's father, hands resting on his shoulders.  
“I mean. Privately. Please.” Looking at the floor trying to stay calm, I knew that if I were to look into Gerards eyes I would bubble rage, and I didn't want to make a scene.  
Donald cleared his throat and leaned forward on the table lowering his voice.  
“Gerard, I think Frank means that he wants to 'talk',” winking at Gerard, causing him to blush and make a small 'oh' “go with Frank now and we can discuss this again at another time.”

Without wasting any more time, I grabbed Gerard by the hand and began dragging him from the kitchen, as a few people wolf whistled.

When we got to our room I turned to look at Gerard, he smirked and began walking closer towards me. “Hey, baby, if you wanted us to leave earlier I wouldn't have minded. I didn't know your urges were as strong as this, I mean it was just last night when we-” I took two more steps forward and I slapped Gerard on his left cheek causing him to snap his head to the right as a red hand print began forming over his stubble.  
“HOW COULD YOU?!” I screamed, allowing tears of rage to stream down my face. “What did Mikey mean earlier when he said that you have been pinning over me for eight years! WHAT THE FUCK GERARD! What am I suppose to think? And then, then your mom said that your pack was never going to attack us? What is that meant to mean? Huh? That my family has been living in fear for years for no reason? Oh! And please enlighten me to when we started writing letters to each other. Huh! I thought this was to join our families together so that we wouldn't rip each others throats out! But apparently not! Apparently I have been forced to think that this was for the best! Forced away from my family!  
“I was going to have the life I had always wanted! I was meant to grow up in my family home with a man I had always known. I was meant to bear his children and nurture them in the same environment I was brought up in! But now thats all ripped away from me, I-I can never go back now, I am stu-stuck with you after you... you RAPED ME! You, you're a monster, how could you, I-I thought we loved each other.” I broke down falling to my knees “I thought we loved each other.” I whispered.

“Frank, I can explain, please.” he crouched down next to me and tried to wrap his arms around me.  
“NO!” I screamed, standing on weak legs and blinking the tears away so that I could grab the door handle with shaky hands, “Just leave me alone Gerard!” I called back into the room as I ran down the corridor, down the stairs and out the front door.

It was now dark, the sun had fallen below the horizon and the half moon brought little light to the front lawn at the front of the mansion. The cool autumn air whipped around me as I ran toward the open gates at the bottom of the gravel path.

I was now a snivelling mess of tears and a watering nose as my teeth clattered through my sobs. Wrapping my arms round my bare arms, I made my decision to run left at the gates down the tarmaced road, and into the night.


	10. Spilling Truth

I loved running, I have always loved running, its the closest I could ever get to flying. When I run I can feel my worries floating away behind me, I could imagine them disappearing into the air, like a trail of smoke, I would feel weightless truly free.

I had run for miles, I have no idea which way I came from, and I have no idea which direction my home is, where my mother is. She is probably sitting curled up by one of the mansions fire places. The smallest lounge room of the house, rarely visited and dusty around the edges from little use. That was her favourite place, our favourite place. She must be so warm by the fire, watching the rain against the window pain and listening to the crackling fire. She probably doesn't even miss me. No one misses me.

I sneeze again causing me to trip and land in the mud, my head hitting a rock. With shaky hands I reach up and touch my head through my hair and bring my hand back before my eyes. I sinking feeling in my stomach as I see red, then pink, and then nothing as the rain continues to pelt down on my body and wash away my blood.

Thats all I am now. Blood and mud. My muscles burn from running and are numb from the cold. I try to stand up but I can't. The ground seems to hate me, pulling me back down, each time falling harder.

A flash of lightning causes me to scream, the trees surrounding me become visible and then disappear, plunging me into a further darkness.

Thats it, I give up. Lying on my back I face the sky, spreading my arms wide, and just embracing it. My body seems to have given up now also, it has stopped shaking and I am just left with peace. Peace and the rain. The rain washing me away, washing me away into mud.

A howl mixed with another clap of thunder caused me to stir, trying to cover my face to block out the sound. I just want to sleep.

A flash of lightning brought with it the image of a wolf, and not just the trees. Why was there a wolf in the woods? It was raining. Who was stupid enough to go out in the rain.

More howls were heard and the splashing of paws on the ground. The first wolf came and lay by my side, its wet fur tickled my bare arm and I tried to push it away. I tried to push it away again but my arm was doing nothing. The wolf whimpered, and I tried to open my eyes to see why it was upset. I couldn't move my eyes, I was so tired. The wolf must be crying because its raining. Maybe the wolf is afraid of thunder.  
I am so tired, so, so, tired.

-

I was hot, I was too hot, sweating and frantically I tried to get away from the heat, in a desperate struggle I became sweltering, burning, my whole body was burning, aching, pain. Why was I saying I was hot? I am freezing, my body convulsing with an attempt to stay warm, straining every muscle and a pounding in my head, in my nose, a scratching lump in my throat.  
Screaming I sat bolt upright, sobs now shaking my body.  
“Frank, honey, baby its me, its Mommy, everything is fine baby, I will make everything right.” Mom? My mom? Where was I? Opening my eyes I saw my mom, just as she said, but I was in the room I had ran from, red sheets. I was in Gerard and I's room.  
Frowning I tried to get out of the bed, but my mom pushed me back, forcing me to lie down.  
“Here, look who I brought with me,” my mom said, grabbing my teddy bear and tucking him under my arm beneath the covers with me.  
“Why did you run away Frank? Everyone was so worried, me and your father got a phone call after midnight saying they couldn't find you, most of your new pack went out searching for you, it took them hours to find you.” Stroking my hair back she kissed my forehead.  
“Where's Gerard?” I croaked out, worry in my eyes.  
“He is out in the corridor, I can go get him?” She offered standing up.  
I was quick to reach out and grab her hand.“NO!”  
“Wanna explain to me baby?” She asked scooting under the covers and wrapping her arm around me.

So I told her everything, I told her all about Gerards hostile behaviour when he was asking me what Mikey had said, and how he acted towards Mikey himself when he let slip that he had, had a crush on me when Gerard was fourteen, and then what Gerard's mother Donna had told me.

“Well I am just in the dark as you are baby, maybe we could ask Gerard to explain? I won't leave if you don't want me to?” Sniffling from my new chill, I nodded to my mom, gripping my teddy tighter and letting her walk toward the bedroom door.  
Coming back she lay next to me on the bed again, only this time on top of the covers.

Gerard followed by my dad and Donald walked into the room, Gerard held his head down ashamed. He had been crying. My dad came and sat next to my mom, kissing me on the forehead and grabbing my moms hand. Donald came and sat down next to me also and gave my hand a reassuring hold.  
“Well?” Donald said, looking disappointed with his son.

With a broken sigh Gerard looked up at me, looked directly into my eyes as if no one else were in the room.  
“When I was fourteen,” Gerard began, twisting his hands in front of himself, standing at the bottom of the bed. “When I was fourteen, I went with my dad to your house, so we could have a meeting over the mid New Jersey boundary line. My dad took me because he thought I was old enough to start learning the ins and outs of how the packs work.  
“On the way to the office we passed you and your friends. You were only ten, but I, I knew you were the one for me.” With a sigh Gerard shook his head, a frown forming on his head. “I asked my dad who you were and he said you were Frank, Frank Iero.  
“I knew that when we were older, I knew there was no way we could be mated together, I was so afraid of losing you to someone else. So when we got back home I thought of how we could be mated.  
“I realised that the only way that would happen, was if our packs formed together, and our packs were too large and independent for either of us to think we needed each other to survive.  
“The only way I could think your pack would have agreed was if you were in danger from a larger pack, and the only other pack which was larger than the Ieros was us.”

Gerard took a timid step closer to the bed, and Donald began to growl at his own son.

Gerard gulped and continued, “I was the one who sent false threats. When I needed them to sound real I would pay a human teacher in my school to speak to you on the phone, and I would tell him what to say.  
“This went on for two years, and then you wanted to come and negotiate with us. I- I panicked! I didn't know what to do! Everything had gotten out of hand, and I was way over my head, I hadn't slept in days and Mikey noticed something was wrong, I confided in him, begging him not to tell anyone. I just needed to tell someone. Mikey was only thirteen. He couldn't keep a secret like this and he was beginning to freak out as well. So he told our grandma, Elena.”  
Gerard laughed, but not in a humours way, it was sad, desperate, as if reliving the memory.  
“Grandma thought I was crazy, but she understood why I was doing all of this, she tried to help the best she could. She arranged a meeting in a near by cafe with a few from your pack. She went by herself, playing sweet and innocent, she said the threats remained.  
“My mother became suspicious, as to why I was spending so much time separating myself from the pack. Grandma told me that if my plan does work, and that you do become my mate, I will need to explain to everyone why an Iero is all of a sudden in our pack. So she chose the oldest trick in the book.  
“The star crossed lovers, from different families they were forced to keep their love a secret. Grandma made me write letters to you, letters which were never sent of course. I kept one on my desk always. My mom has always been pretty nosey. She found them just as we predicted and we made her promise she would tell no one.  
“She thought it was sweet and she had told me that if I were to write to the Iero elders and ask permission, then they may allow us to be mated.”  
Gerard cursed himself looking at the floor and frowning. “I was so stupid! If I had just thought of that before hand I would have saved your pack from so much pain!  
“But I obviously couldn't do that with your family now in fear of us. The only option left was to make a truce between our packs, and have the condition be that we had to be direct descent from our pack elders. You had a few cousins, but they were all older than you, so we could only wait and hope that you weren't mated before them.  
“That was three nerve wrecking years, and I thought you would have been mated for sure. Thats when we invited your grandfather and your dad to meet with me and my grandma. And now here me are. Years of lying and I feel terrible about it all. I am not worthy of your forgiveness, and there is nothing I can do to make it up to you and your pack. I love you and I have put you through so much, I am so sorry.”

I didn't know what to say, what could I say after listening to that? How was I meant to feel? Sure, I was meant to feel hate toward Gerard for what he had done to my family, and for planning my life for years with him as the only solution at the end, as if I were apart of his life and not one to make my own decision. But how could I? Gerard had poured out his heart to me, told me how much he went to just to be with me, how long he had struggled by himself, and how long he had wondered if I would even be his, the uncertainty he must have felt to only a few days ago. How could I hate him after that?  
If anything, I was more in love with the stranger, Gerard Way.


	11. Deception

Where did I go wrong? How far back can I trace my mistakes until I know that I am at a good enough checkpoint to try life again. But can you really erase the bad things life brings without also losing the good things, the special small moments of everyday.

Gerard was broken, he was shaking and he was crying, how far back would he go to change what he had done? Would he go back all eight years so he could do the right thing. What even was the right thing?  
“Gerard, I-” I didn't know what to say. This didn't make sense! Of course, now, it makes sense, its just that... why me? All of the information was only just sinking in. Gerard's lies to my pack... Gerard had been lying for years to his family and friends, and what for? So he could be with me? How was he so certain I was his true soul mate all those years ago? What do you say to the man you love when you realise what you lived through was forced lies? What do you say when you still love said man? How could I possibly still love him I have no idea, but I do, and I don't think I will ever not have these feelings for him.

“You fucking son of a bitch!” My dad shouted standing up and leaping toward Gerard as he turned into his wolf form, landing on Gerard, and sending them both to the floor.  
Growls and ripping sounded through the room, and I crawled to the bottom of the bed so as I could see what was happening. “Dad, stop! PLEASE!” I begged the sandy wolf which was atop of Gerard. Reaching forward, attempting to grab the scruff of fur closest to me as the wolf continued to bite and growl, ripping the fabric of Gee's shirt; Strong arms pulled me back to a sitting position in the middle of the bed where the puddle of my fathers clothes were.  
Donald continued to hold me in my place, as I thrashed in his arms trying to get loose, tears cascading down my face and blurring my vision as it got clouded with the increasing amount of blood which stained the carpet from my father clawing at Gerard's still human form, unwilling to fight against my fathers wrath.  
“Dad! P-please... St-stop! I-I love him! DAD! STOP!” I was not giving up. Gerard may be unwilling to fight for himself, but I wasn't ready to just sit back and watch.  
“Donald! Please! Thats your son!” I pleaded the man who wasn't letting his grasp loosen.  
“Frank! Don't make this any harder than it already is! Gerard brought this on himself.” Donald spoke firmly, as if he agreed with my fathers actions.

The sandy wolf I had known my whole life was looking more and more like a stranger. Its usual cheerful appearance was smeared with blood as it began dragging Gerard across the floor toward the door, its muzzle had a deep grip in Gerards shoulder, and the pooling blood made a trail on the cream carpet.

When Donald released my grip to go and open the door for the wolf I seized my chance. Tripping and flailing to reach the wolf, I blinked away my tears and began tugging at the wolfs fur, trying to pry him away from Gerard.  
My head wound and being out in the woods had left me weak and I could have been pushing a brick wall for all the good I was achieving. The wolf ignored me as if I were a tic, as he pulled Gerard's groggy body out into the hallway. Donald pushed me back softly into the bedroom and closed the door, leaving me with my mother and the flash of blood on the floor.  
Franticly I pulled on the door, trying to open it but it was pointless. Through my tears I could see a dash of silver near the door where the keys hang. Blindly grasping at the empty hook, in my last ditch attempt I tried to get the key for the doors lock, but it wasn't there.

Donald had locked us in, and him and my father had dragged Gerard with them.  
Giving up I sat on the floor infront of the door and in the trail of blood. Weeping I sat there for a few minutes trying to process the overload of everything that kept piling on top of an already unstable foundation.  
My mother tried pulling me away from my spot on the floor, and only after my legs had gone numb and my eyes had dried out, I allowed her to lead me to the bathroom where she ran a bath and helped me strip and get in.  
Just like when I was ill, and a child my mother washed my hair. She cupped her hands in the water and started washing the congealed blood out of my hair from when I had fallen in the woods.

“Where have they taken him mom?” I asked as she washed my hair.  
“I don't know honey.” She replied softly, as if she were afraid she would hurt me.  
“I forgive him mom,” I tried to speak out trough my hoarse voice. She frowned but didn't say a word, only frowning her eyebrow and continuing to stare at my hair as she rinsed it. “I love him, mom.” Sighing, she got up from kneeling on the tiled floor. Grabbing a large towel and holding it out for me to step into. “I know you do baby, I know.”

Like a zombie she led me back into the bedroom and to the door, “It's locked,” I told her, as if she wasn't in the room when she saw my meltdown an hour before.  
She dropped her left arm from around my shoulder and pulled a key out from her pocket. “Wait! How did you get that?” I asked perplexed at how she could acquire the key.  
“Donald gave it to me before he opened the door for your father. When he was holding you he told me to take you to our room after you had cleaned yourself up.” She spoke as she opened the door and pulled me into the hallway where a few humans were already scrubbing at the trail of blood.  
Walking me down the corridor in just my towel we arrived at the staircase. The trail of blood led down the stairs and I was about to follow it when my mom pulled me up the stairs to the second floor of the mansion.  
“But, mom! I need to find Gerard!” I protested, trying to twist in her arms.  
“Oh no you don't, Frankie! The elders will have to deal with Gerard now. He has deceived many people baby, and needs to be punished for what he has done.” Mom explained looking at me as if I were the crazy one. Which I probably am.  
It was pointless to try and escape, I could barely hold myself up anymore, and I could feel my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier as I struggled to keep them wide enough to see where we were headed.  
“Mom! I forgive Gerard, shouldn't that be enough, maybe I could talk to them?” Hopefully I looked at my mom, maybe just maybe.  
“No, Frank. That's not how things work and you know it.” Opening a door down another corridor where a double and a single bed where, she led me to the latter of the two and pulled back the covers, pushing me down under them.  
“Frankie, you need to rest baby, you're still weak from your walk abouts.” My mom sat on the bad and tucked the covers around me. The towel under the covers was uncomfortable yet I could still feel myself falling asleep.  
“But Mom! I have to help Gerard!” I yelped as she shushed me, and I began crying silently.

Fighting as hard as I could I couldn't help falling asleep.


	12. Forgiveness

Emptiness. I feel emptiness, there is nothing more, nothing less. I am hollow, I am broken, I am alone. I am so scared.

It has been three days since Gerard had been dragged out of our bedroom door. I thought the first day after I woke in my parents bed was the worst. I spent the majority of that day crying in the single bed until my mother moved me back to Gerard and I's room where it was now clean, no blood, and no reminder that it had happened. Some times that day I thought I may have even imagined what had happened.  
Over the past few days my mother brought me food and uncertainty of where Gerard was, and of his well being. She was worried about me but I was numb to my surroundings.  
Yesterday Mikey came into the room crying and apologising for helping Gerard with his plan over the years. He was so afraid of what was going to happen. Mikey told me that our fathers and elders, had taken Gerard down into the basement to await his punishment.  
Today I woke up to a churning in my stomach, forcing me out of the bed and into the bathroom on my knees.

This is where I was now, spewing everything I had eaten the day before. Blinking away the tears the burn in my throat brought I looked up to see Elena in the door way.  
“Oh, Sweetie, don't get so upset, you are making yourself sick and thats not helping anyone.” She came forward and lifted my under arms so she could lead me to the sink. While rinsing my mouth out she tied my hair back so as to cool my neck.  
“Feel better now?” she asked soothingly.  
“Yeah. Completely fine. I have no idea what came over me.” I confessed, confused.  
“You have worried yourself sick! Thats what it is Frank. Now. Your father and Donald want you to see Gerard. The Elders have agreed that we will sort out the pack, and what to tell both families, and you will decide what is to be done with Gerard. But Frankie, please. Gerard has been through so much, don't be too hard on him.” Her complexion changed from a law abiding pack elder, to a concerned Grandmother.  
“What?!” I squeaked out, looking in her eyes to see if she were lying. “I- I can go see him?” Without realising I had grabbed her hands and had to loosen my hold when I saw her wince.  
“Even, better, you can let him out if you want.” Pleading with her eyes and gripping my hands back just as tight.  
“I love Gerard,” I told her, as I dropped her hands and ran from the room I had moped in for days. I had weak legs from hardly using them, and I had to hold the banister as I flew down the stairs, and skidded on the marble floor in the main entrance of the mansion.

Gerard had pointed out a door to the basement days ago when he gave me a tour of the building, and it didn't take me long to find the said door and leap down the stairs two at a time.  
Plummeting lower and lower down the vast staircase the air became cooler and settled against my boiling skin from running all the way.  
At the bottom of the stairs I could see the basement, clearly illuminated and unlike a normal house basement, - the mansions basement was large and dry and it held many metal cages and chains just like the ones in the previous Iero mansion. They were normally for when werewolves turned savage at some full moons, when they felt the moons full power and would completely lose all humanity. It only happened to maybe three people every year, and it wasn't something to worry about, but it was a precaution especially with young cubs running around at full moon.

Frantically searching around the room and out of breath, I saw my father and Donald both in human form next to somebody chained to the wall by their arms.  
“Dad?!” My dry voice echoed in the basement and all three men turned to look at me. Gerard was the man chained to the wall, and his face was stained and covered in blood, he looked broken and ashamed, and guilty as he looked back at me.  
“Gee!” I screamed running toward him, ignoring my father and Donald. Grabbing his face between my hands I kissed his lips and cried, never wanting to let him go. “Gerard, I was so worried, I though you were dead, I-I miss you.” I cried, gripping his bare shoulders and causing him to wince as I touched his healing wounds. “Gerard, I love you.” I declared to his broken body, as his half lidded eyes struggled to stay focused on me as he was so close to unconsciousness.

“Frank, you need to decide what we do with my son.” Donald, placed a hand on my shoulder, pushing for an answer the pack needed.  
“I forgive Gerard, please. Everyone needs to forgive Gerard, please let him go now, - not just for him, please... I- I need him.” I was being frantic. Although I knew Gerard would be physically fine – he is a dom after all, they heal fast. - but I was worried about him emotionally, all the pain and remorse he must have felt over years of being alone with his secret, and the short lived relief of getting it off his chest before he were dragged down here for his punishment.  
“Thank god, I really didn't want to hurt you anymore Gerard. I might not have agreed what you have done but you're a good kid, and you make Frank happy.” my dad spoke as he unlocked the cuffs chaining Gerard's wrists to the wall.  
“Thank you Frank, I think he has learnt his lesson; right Gerard?” Donald asked, looking at his son, as he helped him stand up once the restraints were gone. Gerard nodded a yes, and we helped him up the stairs to our room.

Flopping Gerard down on the covers of the bed, my dad and Donald left, instructing me to look after Gerard and let him rest.  
Gerards eyes fluttered open and he looked around the room, eyes landing on me, “Frankie,” his voice was hoarse “I forgot to tell you, I love you too-” I cut him off before he could say anything else and sealed his lips in a kiss with mine.  
Ruining the moment, I caught a whif of him and he really smelt bad. “Ew, Gee,” I giggled, scrunching my nose and standing up straight again to see him lying on the bed, perplexed. “You smell kind of bad.” With a sigh he tried to stand up, whimpering in pain. “No, no, no,” I spoke, gently pushing him back onto the bed. “I'll wash you here. I'll be right back, don't move.” I called back to him as I skipped to the bathroom to grab a wash cloth, a bowl of warm soapy water and a towel.  
Walking back carefully, so as not to spill the dish of water; I settled it on the floor by the bed and locked the bedroom door with the key which had been replaced on the hook.  
Gerard was watching me with curious eyes as I tugged his trousers and boxers off, leaving him naked on the bed. His cheeks were heated red as I could see him fully naked for the first time in good light.  
We had made love, sure, - but there was something deeper, more intimate to see the other naked and innocent.

Rinsing out the cloth, I began to wash away the dried blood. Starting at his face I worked down to his lower stomach, blushing when I realised what was further down. I looked at his eyes and saw him watching my cheeks darken.  
Breaking the awkward silence, I cleared my throat and started from his feet upwards, mentally preparing myself for having to wash Gerard in his area.

By the time I got to mid thigh I couldn't help but notice Gerard's growing problem. Flicking my eyes up to his face, he had his eyes closed and looked oblivious to what was happening to his body.  
Shuffling awkwardly on my knees on the floor by the bed I moved so that I was directly side on to his 'problem'.  
“Mhmm Frankie...” Gerard hummed. His eyes still closed he looked in bliss. Gerard reached a hand and began stroking his now fully hard cock. Clearing my throat I tried to get his attention, but by the looks of his uneven strokes and not having reacted to me making a noise I suspected he had fallen asleep, and was trying to pleasure himself subconsciously.  
Without thinking, I replaced Gerard's hand with my own wet hand, from previously washing him, and I began to pump my hand.  
Growing with confidence at the sounds Gerard was making, I got a tighter grip and began moving faster.  
Gerard's face was growing red with his laboured breathing as his slack face had nothing to concentrate on. His hips began twitching up into my grasp and that was when I dared to lean forward and lick the head of his dick, tasting the pre-cum as I lathered it over the surface, spreading it around as I swirled my tongue.  
Moaning at the taste, and the pulsing heat on my lips, I licked and sucked, hollowing my cheeks I brought as much of him into my mouth as I could, sucking and pumping in rythym with the continuous revolving of his hips.  
With a grunt on every exhale of breath I knew Gerard was close and unexpectedly he shot his load into my mouth, and I soaked it all up, not willing to let anything slip past my lips, enjoying the sensation too much to miss any of it.  
Panting I moved my sweaty forehead to rest against Gerard's thigh, regaining my strength I listened to the thump in my ears as my pulse calmed.  
“You're like a hot nurse,” Gerard's voice alarmed me and I looked up, shocked that he had caught me pleasuring him.  
“I-I thought you were asleep?!” I panicked, embarrassed at my own behaviour.  
“I was,” Gerard smirked, “but then someone started sucking on my cock.”


	13. Imperfection is Perfection

When everything seems to be falling into place in life, you sometimes suspect that something or someone will come along and change all of that. That is not always the case. Sometimes you just have to be free in the moment, because even if something does come along to change everything; you would have still had your five minutes of happiness to reflect on and remember.

The rest of that day was peaceful, Gerard was still weak, so I cared for him. I put some boxers on him and pulled the covers over him, and simply sat stroking his head.  
“I am going to make you something to eat. Whats your favourite food?” I asked, breaking the stillness that had settled in the room.  
“I will love whatever you cook,” Gerard said, twisting so he could look at me as I was sat with my back on the headboard.  
Giggling I leant down and pecked his lips, “No, but seriously, what is your favourite meal?” determined to get an answer this time, I wriggled down the bed so I was lying on my stomach, Gerard directly on my right side, with his arms around me, and my face close enough that his soft breath moved my bangs.  
“Cheesecake isn't a meal is it?” Gerard replied, face serious.  
Laughing, I buried my face in the sheets over Gerard's chest at his answer. “You can't survive off of cheesecake!” I giggled out.  
“Oh yeah?” Gee replied, tickling me, and making me squirm as my laughing became hysterical and I began crying. “St-stop! Truce! I give up,” I squeaked, trying to escape “Cheesecake is a meal, alright, you win, I-I will make you cheesecake for dinner! Just stop tickl-tickling me please!”  
He stopped at that, and lay back to a more comfortable position on the bed so as to support his neck.  
Waiting for my heart rate to decrease to a normal level, I moved on all fours and hovered above Gerard, kissing him suggestively and then leaping from the bed giggling before he could do anything about our previous position.  
“What type of cheesecake?” I asked, as I reached the key and unlocked the door.  
“Strawberry, please.” Gerard asked, looking like a little boy, innocent, all curled up in the bed sheets, with his black un-kept hair in tuffs over his forehead.  
“Get some sleep while I am gone, kay?” I scrutinised him with my eyes in a playful way, before I shut the door behind me and headed to the kitchen.

The kitchen had a few people in various areas cooking different meals, by the looks of things, someone was making a simple beans on toast and another was making a beef Wellington.  
Going to one of the many fridges, I found all the dairy ingredients I would need, and I layed them out on a counter. Searching in other cupboards I found biscuits and flavourings and the few utensils I would need.

“Hey short stuff, how is Gerard today?” The well built dom, Bob, I met the other day came up behind me, and scooped some of the mixture from my bowl and popped it in his mouth.  
“Hey! Don't eat that! It's for Gerard, and its not even cooked yet!” I demanded, lightly hitting him on his chest.  
“Uhh, thats why it tastes gross!” Bob said, making a sour face, and then laughing at the disbelieving look on my face. “I am just joking! So how is Gee?” Bob asked again, moving to sit on the counter next to where I was working.  
Continueing my work, pouring the mixture over crushed biscuits already in a tin, I answerd. “Gerard is okay, just a little sore. Do you know what the elders have decided yet?”  
He looked worried now, a sudden change from his joking. “Nah, I don't know anything yet. I think the elders will make a decision tomorrow at the full moon meeting.” Bob began kicking his legs, and looked at the kitchen, watching nothing in particular. Just staring. “I don't think there is anything to worry about though.” He said, obviously noting my worried expression and trying to calm me.

When the cheesecake was in the oven I continued to talk to Bob about what Gerard was like when he was little. He told me all about the mischief they would get up to, and how Gerard would always be the serious one, and stop “all the fun” before someone would get hurt.  
When the timer on the oven beeped, I pulled the cheesecake out and began tidying the area in the kitchen I worked in as it cooled.  
Bob left then, saying that he would catch me tomorrow at the meeting, if not sooner.  
He wasn't as bad as I had originally perceived him as, and for that I was grateful. To be honest, I was just glad that Gerard didn't have an asshole for a friend.

Putting the cheesecake in a fridge, it would be a few hours before it would set, so I began to meander around the grand-floor of the mansion.  
Leaving the kitchen I passed a familiar door, and on a gut feeling, I gently rapped on the door, waiting for a “come in”.

Donald was sitting behind his desk, and there was a mountain of paper in-front of him. “Ah, Frank!What a pleasure to see you. Your mother and father left a few hours ago, and said they will phone you tomorrow. But I am guessing that is not what brings you here?” He queried, before looking back down at his desk, shuffling papers, and filling in boxes with a black fountain pen.  
“I-,” Why was I here? “I guess I am just worried about what the elders will decide, and I am just nervous about my first full moon here I guess.” I confessed, looking down and scuffing my socks on the floor of Donalds office. Surprising myself at opening up to Gerard's father.  
Sighing, he stopped shuffling his papers and looked up at me. “Frank. There is absoloutely nothing to worry about. If its any consolation, I know what the elders have decided, and thats why I have so much work,” looking up with wide eyes he read my mind, “and no, I am sorry, but I can't tell you. It will be one of the main topics to discuss at the meeting tomorrow, so you will know soon enough. It's nothing to worry about though, trust me.  
“And about tomorrow, I am sure you won't feel as nervous. The meeting is very casual, and Gerard won't leave your side.” Donald smiled and then looked back down at his papers. “Now, I am sorry to say this, but I really need to get back on with all this work.” Smiling he looked back at me. “I will see you tomorrow okay? Just don't worry.”  
Nodding I walked back out the door, “Thank you, Donald. See you tomorrow.” Smiling I pulled the door closed and began walking down a corridor I have yet to be down.

A huge glass wall was on the left hand side of the corridor, and on the other side of the glass appeared to be a creche. The walls and floor were coloured with blues, greens, yellows and reds. Small children were crawling and fertile mothers sat talking to each other on the soft plushy chairs. Some of them cradling small babies. A part of me wanted to be there. To have a baby, to love them, and I knew that I wanted that with Gerard.  
Dragging myself further down the corridor, it looped around and I came out at the games room. No doubt Mikey was in here somewhere, and so I edged my way through the crowd toward the back of the room, trying to avoid people standing on my feet, cursing myself for not having worn my shoes as I left our room.

Just as predicted Mikey was sat next to several other people our age, all of which had a games controller in there hands, staring at a huge flat screen infront of them.  
Moving around the couch, I sat in the small gap between Mikey and the arms rest, and sat watching the screen until he had finished the game of what appeared to be super mario.  
“Hey,” I said shyly.  
Mikey only having just noticed I was the one who had sat down next to him, turned and wrapped his arms around me. “Oh, Hey Frank, hows it going? I am sorry about what happened to Gerard, you must have felt awful,” Mikey consoled, the first to see what had happened to Gerard, had also affected me.  
“Everything's cool, yeah, Gerard is fine.” I smiled, showing my sincerity.  
“Oh hey, guys, this is Frank, y'know? The one how was mated with Gerard like, a week ago...” Mikey introduced me to a few of his friends which were also sitting on the couch.  
I was handed a controller and so we all began to play another game which came up on the screen.  
“Sooo, Frank... How is Gerard in bed? Huh? We have all been wondering for years?” Mikeys friend Alice asked as she avoided another banana on the screen.  
“Ew! Guys this is my brother, not cool.” Mikey complained, frowning behind his glasses.  
“Come on Mikey, lighten up! Gerard is hot, I am jealous Frank,” another friend, Ben, commented.  
All of us giggled at Mikey's expression, and I seized my chance to make this as awkward for him as I could.  
“Well, y'know... We have only made love once. But it was... magical,” I giggled, searching for the right word, “He was really soft with me, caring, and loving you know?” Everyone was listening now, all except Mikey who was still staring at the now paused screen. “But he was also wild, animalistic, raw... and adventurous.” Blushing I looked down at my lap, trying to cool myself off and change my thoughts before I got too carried away.  
“Wow, never knew Gerard would be like that. I always imagined he would be, like, clumsy and shy and stuff,” Ben said, just as Mikey replayed the game, causing everyones concentration to be back on the screen and not on my love life.

We played more games, and conversed in small talk, and preperations for the full moon tomorrow. But when my ass became numb from sitting I decided that it has probably been long enough for the cheesecake to have cooled and set.  
Bidding my goodbyes to the guys, I made my way out of the games room and to the kitchen.  
Opening the fridge, I retrieved the fully set cheesecake and added some strawberries and cream, to the top, and pulled out two spoons from a draw.

Carefully I started my walk back to the bedroom, concentrating on not tipping the desert. When I got to the room, I had to use my elbow and shoulder to open the door.  
Inside, Gerard was exactly where I had left him, only now he had his eyes closed and looked peaceful in sleep.  
Sneaking in the room I placed the cheesecake and spoons on my side of the bed, and closed the door, with a nearly silent click.  
I leaped to the wardrobe, and found what I was looking for which was still at the bottom of my duffel bag, and has always been kept hidden at the bottom, even when I was still living with my old pack. About a year ago, I went with Matt to shop for lingerie after he had been mated. I also bought some things for myself, knowing that they would come in handy what I were mated, and I had hidden them in this bag ever since. Grabbing what I needed, I snuck to the bathroom and changed as quietly as I could. Applying black eyeliner, and a dash of blusher.  
Looking in the bathroom mirror, I had a sudden wave of confidence wash over me. It seemed that the black corset and thigh high stockings gave an air of empowerment to my esteem.

Walking out into the bedroom, I carefully kneeled either side of Gerard's hips, without disrupting the bed.  
I grabbed only the dish of cheesecake and I held it in my left hand and picked up one of the strawberries. Just as I put the strawberry to my lips, I sat down on Gerard's lap, causing his eyes to flicker open, and look at me with first confusion and then want.  
Snaking my tongue out of my mouth, I liked the cream from the strawberry, and bent forward, - pushing my weight on his lap – I held the strawberry to his lips, and he ate it without breaking eye contact with me.  
Smiling, I grabbed a spoon, and fed Gerard the cheesecake, making sure that every time I leaned forward and them back up, I caused friction to the area between my legs.  
I had originally planned just eating the cheesecake with Gerard and then going to sleep, but I was in the mood for a little teasing, and I could definitely feel Gerard was in the mood; as his hands gripped my hips, and he was adamant for me to feel what I was doing to his body, as I could feel the growing bulge I was sitting on, the more and more I rocked to feed him.  
Biting my bottom lip, and clenching his hips between my thighs seemed to tip the balance for him.  
He grabbed the dish of half eaten cheesecake and placed it on his bedside table.  
Resuming his hands on my hips, he rolled us over so that he was now above me, and I could feel his erection pressing firmly between my legs, making me feel his pre-cum which had soaked through his boxers, and the lace of my lingerie. In anticipation I wrapped my legs around his waist.  
Straining his shoulder, he leaned forwards and matched his mouth to mine in a hot mess. Through the kiss I could tell that he was grimacing, and his arms began to shake under the pressure of his weight.  
Pushing him back over onto his back and straddling him, never breaking the kiss, I undid the corset and dropped it to the floor.  
“You need to relax your shoulder if you want it to get better. Doctor's orders,” I winked at him and bit my lip, as I pulled down his boxers, watching him spring free, and the heat from him washing over my stomach.  
When I managed to get the stockings and pants off, I rocked my hips down on his, causing our erections to rub up against each other, making his face turn red, and for his eyes to flutter close.  
“Uhh, Frankie,” He moaned, as I continued to revolve my hips and lean forward to plant delicate kisses from his lips, down his jaw, and over his injured shoulder.  
Reaching behind me, I grabbed him in my fist, causing him to cry out in pleasure, and his head to roll back, leaving his mouth open slack, “uh,” his strangled voice repeated, as I stroked him, coating him in pre-cum.  
Leaning forward so that my dick was trapped between our stomachs, pulsing. I lined him up with my entrance, and moved up so my body was completely above his body. Pushing the head in, and then slamming myself down, flush against his hips, we both cried out in bliss, my body shaking all over from hitting my prostate straight away. Gerard was hot and pulsing inside me, and when I had recovered I began moving, up and down, in small circles, constantly revolving my hips, searching my spot again. “Ugghh, F-Fuck, Gee!” I screamed, strangled from the convulsing pleasure, as I had found the sweet spot inside me. Leaning back and resting my hands on Gerard s calves, I began moving as much as I could, trying to give him as much pleasure as I was receiving from hitting my spot every single time.  
“Frankie, uhh, look at me please, uh, uh” Gerard pleaded, forcing me to abandon my position, and move my hands onto his chest with a slap, continuing to bounce and ride him.  
Staring into his eyes, he began thrusting up and meeting me half way, in this new position, the movement was spreading heat to my entire body, and as my muscles clenched around him, I collapsed ontop of him, my load lessening the friction so I could continue moving for him. Gerard lifted my chin, and kissed me, his tongue running over my lips and rubbing against my own tongue.  
I could feel myself getting hard again, and I was regaining my lost energy from my orgasm, allowing me to sit back up and instead of bouncing, I had the new urge to lift myself, so much so that the head was all that was still inside me, and then slam myself down over and over again onto his hips. Not even giving Gerard the chance to thrust upwards.  
“Ahh! Oh my God, oh my God, Frankiiiiie!” Gerard cried, as he exploded inside me, his seed spreading warmth further and further into me, making me cry out again, as another orgasm hit, and my body fell forward and shook, as I supported myself on my arms, looking into Gerard's eyes, as he saw nothing as the pleasure continued to pump through him. Rolling myself off of Gerard, I snuggled under his awaiting arm, resting my head on his chest.

When our breathing had returned to normal, and Gerards heart under my ear was steady, he stroked my hair between his fingers. “Wow, Frank. That was amazing.”  
Giggling I rested my chin on his chest, “What? The cheesecake or the sex?”


	14. Passing

Stress. In the wild it could save your life. Your body is programmed to release adrenaline within thirty seconds of an extraneous stimulus. This fast burst of energy increases heart rate, and breathing. It allows you to make your quick escape.  
But if you are faced with stress over a long period of time, it can become chronic. Your immune system will decrease and you will lose energy.

Now, you try and tell me 'not to stress' over tonight. It will be my first full moon in a new pack. It will be my first full moon away from my parents and it will be the first since I was mated.

My nerves were getting the better of me, and so a quick shower seemed like the perfect idea to sooth my tensed muscles.  
Leaving Gerard still sleeping, I made my way to the bathroom. After our previous nights activities I had nothing to change from and so I simply stepped into the shower and waited for it to reach a reasonable temperature.

If I were at my old home still, I would probably still be sleeping. Usually on the day of the full moon, I would sleep the majority of the day, knowing that I would be up all night running around. Thats what most werewolves do, and so once a month, packs have lazy days. Mothers, fathers, grandparents and children would all sleep until late afternoon. Schools are closed the day of, and after the full moon, and it is generally treated as a celebration.  
Humans lock themselves up for the majority of the two days. They find shelter in their houses in fear. As if a door would stop us from entering their “home”.  
It was not unheard of for a wolfpack to hunt humans on full moons. It was seen as a tradition for us. We would work as a pack and scour our land, finding a few odd stragglers on the streets. It was like a game, or family bonding time, you could say. They were easy to catch, and their unpredictable nature made the hunt exciting.

Arms being wrapped around my waist made me screech in surprise, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
I could feel Gerard press his chest against my back, and as I leaned my head back to rest on his shoulder, he trailed light kisses along my shoulder and across my neck. The shower continued to wash over us, and I closed my eyes to stop the water from stinging them.  
“Well, good morning,” Gerard chuckled as he traced his fingertips in small circles on my lower stomach, his arms still cradling me as we stood, welded to each other. Giggling, he turned me around, never losing the distance between us. Chest against chest I could now look at Gerard as the water fell rhythmically on my scalp.  
“How is your shoulder?” I asked, remembering how sore he found it last night.  
“Well, I had a really hot nurse who kissed it better,” He replied, smiling as the water continued to run over us.  
Water droplets rolled down Gerard's round pale cheeks and created an illusion, making his eyelashes seem darker, and his hazel eyes shine in an endless sea of colours.  
“You're so handsome,” I complimented, looking down at my hands which rested on his chest.  
“I am simply a man Frankie, I look like nothing next to you. You are the most beautiful person, inside and out, that I have ever had the pleasure to meet,” Gerard said with honest sincerity, one hand cupped my cheek, as his right still hovered over my lower back.  
Leaning forward I lightly pressed my lips to his, “Thank you,” leaning back and smiling, I wriggled out of his grasp to begin washing my hair, after rinsing the suds out, I put another dab in my hands and I reached on my tiptoes to scrub it into Gerards hair, lathering and massaging his head.  
“Uhhh” Gerard moaned and his drool mixed with the spray of water. I couldn't help but giggle at his face as he relaxed into my touch as I continued to wash his hair.  
Changing position, Gerard stood under the spray and washed the bubbles away. Turning off the shower, he grabbed a huge white towel and wrapped it around me. Using his inhuman strength, he lifted me from the shower and placed me on the bathroom floor, where he began to rub the towel on me, much like what you would do to a child. Pulling the towel higher up and over my head, he thoroughly dried my hair, and then removed the towel just enough that he leant and kissed the tip of my nose, causing me to giggle at the tickle it caused.  
“Why don't you go put your cute little ass in something comfy and we'll go get something to eat?” Gerard asked, talking louder as he began to pee, so that I could still hear him.  
“Eww Gee!” I squealed as I ran from the bathroom with the towel wrapped tightly around me, running into the bedroom I nearly missed Elena who was stood with her eyebrows raised. Smiling I stopped running and gripped the towel tighter to me.  
“You didn't say it was so 'Ew' last night when you fucked yourself on my dick,” Gerard said, shouting from the bathroom, oblivious to his grandmother in hearing range. I was too shocked to say or do anything, I just stood looking at Elena as her eyebrows rose higher and higher into her hairline. “Ughh Gee, Fuck! Uhhmmm” Gerard moaned from the bathroom in a higher voice to impersonate me. I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment as neither Elena or myself knew what to say or do but stare at each other with horror.  
“Frankie? Are you-” Gerard asked concerned, only now coming out of the bathroom, and by the looks on Elena's face, I am guessing that Gerard was still naked. “Grandma! I-,” Gerard spluttered, turning around I could see him trying to cover himself with his hands.  
Clearing her throat, I turned to look at Elena, as she moved her gaze from Gerard back to me, “Well,” she began, flicking her eyes around the room, obviously embarrassed herself from the situation, “I came to speak to Frank regarding tonight's ceremony, but,” looking at my lingerie discarded on the floor near the bed, she stopped her eyes from wondering, and looked Gerard in the eyes, “as I can see, I have interrupted something, and so I shall speak to you both later-”.  
Gerard went to interrupt and in doing so he dropped his hands, “Grandma wait, I-”.  
“Enough Gerard!” Elena warned, raising her hand to shield her view, while turning her head to the side and looking at the wall.  
“I want to see you both fully dressed, and in the forest lounge when you have had something to eat and are ready to begin the preparations.” And with that, she spun on her heel and walked out the door, closing it behind her and leaving an uncomfortable silence in her wake.

“Oh my god,” I breathed out, still stuck flabbergasted, staring at the closed door.  
Gerards uncontrollable laughter was distracting me from my thoughts of 'oh god, why me' and a mantra of 'shit, shit, shit, shit'.  
“GERARD! Don't laugh! This is serious!” I shouted, turning to him, to see him completely naked still, laughing, clutching his stomach.  
“I can't believe this, oh my god! I can't do this, not now, not ever! Please don't let me go to the full moon meeting tonight Gerard, I can't do it, I am so nervous, and now... and now THIS! Oh god, oh god, oh god,” I cried, gripping at my hair, and shaking with nerves.  
“Hey, hey, its okay baby,” Gerard immediately stopped laughing and wrapped his arms around me, smushing his cheek to the top of my head, and stroking down my neck and my shoulders. Soothing me and calming my worries. Sniffling I crashed my face into his chest, trying to push him closer to me.  
“Ow! Hey, enough with the crushing! I have my internal organs inside of me there,” He joked, poking my side and trying to lighten the mood. It worked somewhat as I giggled and realised that with Gerard by my side, there really was nothing to worry about.  
“Now, come on, although that cheesecake you made was heavenly, I feel like something meaty to get my teeth into. Whatcha say, I take you to have a picnic? Get your mind off tonight. It looks like its going to be a great day, maybe it will be the last of the sun before winter sets in. And anyway, it will be nice to get out of the house.” Nodding, I pulled him to the wardrobe and we began searching for something to wear.  
Running my fingers over the clothes, I felt the smooth silk of my mothers blue dress, and I remembered her telling me of her wearing it after she was mated with my father, and him taking her to the woods. Smiling, I pulled the dress from the hanger and laid it on the bed as I put my underwear on, then I slipped the dress on over my head to see Gerard smiling at me from across the room, still holding his clothes in his hands and just looking at me.  
“Wow, Frankie. You look amazing!” Gerard said, staring at me unblinking.  
“Thank you, its my mothers dress... she gave it to me the day we were mated,” I blushed, looking down at the dress and grabbing handfuls as I swayed from side to side. “You better get dressed! I am hungry, and if you want some meat we will have to cook it first!”

Without delay, we were both dresses with shoes on. Gerard was wearing black skinny jeans, and a plain red tshirt. Grabbing a red tartan blanket from the bottom of the wardrobe, Gerard hooked it under his right arm, and slung his left over my shoulders. We made our way down the corridor, making sure to stop near the human maids room, to ask one of them to clean our room sometime today. Why would we have to clean our own room?

In the kitchen, Gerard and I worked together, fetching and carrying two steaks, and frying them, while preparing sandwiches for them. Grabbing various other bits and pieces, Gerard scooped up most of the food, “I am going to go find somewhere for us to sit, and then I will come back, okay? Just keep an eye on the steaks.” He clutched the food tightly in his arms as he leaned down and kissed my cheek, before he left out of the kitchen back door.  
Looking over the heads of a few other people in the kitchen, I could see a small section of outside through the window, and I watched as he walked out of site and into the trees.  
Sighing I turned my attention back to the steaks which were sizzling in the pan, adding seasoning, I watched the juices bubble and splatter on the meat. I don't understand how some humans can be vegetarian, maybe from only a werewolf point of view it seems barbarian. I guess humans are weird like that though.

When the juices turned clear, I turned the heat off, and transferred the meat to a cutting board. Slicing the steaks I then placed them in the two open sandwiches Gerard had prepared. Doing a quick wash up of the area didn't take long, and when I had put the frying pan away Gerard came back in. Smiling he came up to me and nuzzled my hair. “Gerard!” I giggled, swatting at his chest, “Enough, lets go, I am hungry.”

“Right away my princess,” Gerard impersonated a posh accent and did a formal bow, attracting a few fertiles attention making them giggle. Gerard ignored them and stood, taking my hand he kissed it. What has gotten into him? Nether the less, I enjoyed his chivalry.  
Smiling, hand in hand. Gerard picked up the two sandwiches and laced his free hands fingers with my own, leading me out of the door and into the garden.  
As soon as we stepped out into the open, the light breeze ceased, and the sun warmed my bare skin. The back grounds were large and open, the grass was kept short and it was a lush green, leaves of various colours scattered the emerald. Autumn was fast approaching and the few deciduous trees held reds and oranges amongst their branches.  
Pulling me further away from the mansion, Gerard led me to the huge fir trees which were a deep green colour. We continued walking through the trees until we came to a small clearing. The grass was dry here, as the sun had shone through the small gap within the trees. In the centre was the red blanket Gerard had brought down from our room. The variety of food was in the centre, and Gerard gestured for me to sit where I wanted.  
Sitting down and running my fingers through the lush grass, the breeze cooled my collarbone as I tipped my head back to face the sun.  
Gerard sat behind me, with his legs on either side of me. He encouraged me to lean back on his chest, and with his arms around me we sat like that for minutes.  
With one hand Gerard grabbed one of the sandwiches and brought it to my lips. Taking a bite, I began to chew, while he did the same. He continued to feed himself and me, alternating between both of us.  
After the sandwiches, I picked up a handful of the blueberries we brought with us. From my hand I then began feeding us, as he had done.  
“Gerard?” I asked while nibbling on a berry.  
“Hmm?” Gerard replied, stroking my hair, and every now and then kissing the top on my head.  
“I am worried about tonight...” I trailed off, shifting in his arms to look up at him, my cheek pressing against his bicep.  
“There is nothing to worry about Frankie, every mated couple does the ceremony, and they live after it.” Gerard tried consoling me, stroking my back.  
“But, its embarrassing Gerard, not for you, but for me.” Gerards smile faltered slightly, but he continued comforting me.  
“Frankie. How many ceremonies have you seen?” eyes piercing.  
“Quite a lot...” I confessed, looking down, knowing where he was going with this.  
“Well then, out of all of those that you have seen, when have you ever judged them? When have you ever thought 'that must be embarrassing'?” Gerard pushed, picking a few berries and chucking them in his mouth, never breaking eye contact.  
“...Never,” I whispered, ashamed that I was making such a big deal out of this.  
“Exactly! Its completely natural Frank, no one will judge you with how you react to me.” Gerard tried to make light of the conversation, “anyway, if you are all submissive, I will get so turned on, you have no idea how sexy you are Frankie.” he purred into my ear, causing me to blush and kiss his jaw.

Growling he flipped us over so that I was on my back on the floor, with him pressed over my whole body. He smirked as he looked at my shocked expression.  
His lips met my own, and they moved together, as if they were dancing. Lightly Gerards tongue traced over my bottom lip, begging for entrance. With I sigh I opened my mouth, letting his tongue rub up against my own. With doing what he wanted he let out a moan and deepened the kiss.  
We continued, our pace increasing, and becoming urgent as we tasted each other in the open autumn air.  
After a few minutes we pulled away and just looked in each others eyes, both of us searching for something, and by the look on Gerards face, I think he found what he was looking for, and I didn't know what, but I think I had found it too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After the picnic, Gerard cleaned everything up and carried it back toward the house. I offered to help but he said that he wanted to do it for me. How could I refuse?  
When everything was where it needed to be, Gerard led me down another corridor I had never been down, let alone see. It was perpendicular to the kitchen and so it ran parallel to the forest, we passed large open doorways rarely, and so I assumed that the rooms were large. I was correct when we pushed open one of the doors and entered a large room with dark oak beams running along the ceiling, and the far wall made completely of glass, looking out directly into the forest.  
The room had many pale cream coloured couches, which were arranged in threes, with a low coffee table in between the chairs. From the lack of any other furniture in the room, I assumed that this was a lounge, and with the second clue of the view the room had, I gathered that this was the forest lounge in which Elena wanted to meet us both in.  
Speaking of, I could now notice a figure sitting on the couch closest to the window wall, their back facing us.  
Noticing this was Gerard's grandmother, the embarrassment from earlier, bubbled back to the surface, and I wanted nothing more at that moment than to never see Elena ever again. But that wasn't my luck. Gerard led us to the couch opposite hers, and he dragged me to sit down next to him.  
“Hello boys, have a nice lunch?” Elena commented, continuing to sip at her cup of tea she held in her hands.  
Too embarrassed to speak, I simply nodded my head, and fidgeted with the hem of my dress.  
“Yeah, we had a picnic, its nice outside y'know. Should be a warm night.” Gerard commented, completely unfased by what happened earlier it seems.  
“Well thats a relief. Should be getting cold soon, but the weather seems to be holding up for now,” apparently Elena had already forgotten the 'smornings escapades, “Please. Help yourself to some tea,” turning over two tea cups and pouring the tea from a tea pot, decorated with flowers.  
“Have you got any coffee grandma?” Gerard asked, apprehensively eyeing up the tea she handed him.  
“Honestly! Don't you know that tea is much better for you! What do they teach you kids these days huh!” Elena huffed, and gave me a wink, probably trying to loosen me up.

Grabbing the cup and saucer, I began to take small sips, trying to fill the silence while everyone was drinking, “Sooo...” I tried, and failed at getting conversation started.

Elena seemed to see me struggling and helped me out by getting to the point of why we were here. “Well, another couple is to be mated tonight, so it shouldn't be so daunting for you, not everyone will be looking at you two, so that should relieve a few of the pressures,” and to be honest that was a relief. I could ignore the stares if I know that they could be for another couple. It would make the experience bearable. “Now, because you too were not mated at a full moon meeting in itself, things will be slightly different tonight.  
“Frankie, honey, you will go with the other unmated fertiles, and sit with them for the beginning of the meeting until you are called up. It won't be so bad, Michael will be with you, so you will know someone.  
“We will go through with the regular meeting business, and discuss general things which the pack needs to be informed on, and then after that we will do both yours, and the other couples mating ceremony. Then the night will go on how it normally does. Do you boys understand?” Elena queried, looking between the two of us.  
With both of us understanding we continued to make small talk until we had all finished our drinks.

“Well,” Elena huffed, sitting up on her chair and looking at her watch, “it won't be long now, why don't you boys go and get yourself ready, and I will see you at the meeting.” With a caring smile we all stood up and she hugged us both in turn. “Frankie, don't look so worried, it is all instinct, you will know what to do.” kissing my forehead, she grabbed my hand and walked me to the lounge door, with Gerard following close behind.  
“Gerard, you be good and look after Frank, and take him to Mikey before the sun sets, I think he said he will meet you both out the back near the kitchen, okay?” and with that, Elena went one way and we went the other. The corridors were now full of people walking back and forth, getting in their last preparations for the night.  
With my sweating hand in Gerard's tight grasp he took me back into the kitchen with where we left the blanket. Hooking it under his arm, we went back outside and stayed near the back door.

I didn't realise how late it had become so soon, and my nerves were now making me physically shake. Gerard must have thought it was from the cold, and he wrapped the blanket around my shoulder and hugged me tightly. “What if you don't like what I look like?” I asked, only now realising that in my wolf form, Gerard may think I wasn't as pretty as he thinks I am.  
“Frankie. Don't be ridiculous, you look beautiful no matter what. I will love you no matter what. Trust me.” Gerard asserted, looking me in the eyes fiercely, and I knew he was telling the truth, but I still had the nagging 'what if'.

Mikey came out soon from the kitchen with Ben from yesterday. “Hey, Frank, you excited?” Mikey asked, looking at me with his own excitement.  
“Yeah, not really. I am really nervous Mikes.” I confessed, tightening my grip on Gerards shirt.  
“Well, we really should be going anyway Frank, it will be fine I am sure, right Gee?” Mikey asked, coming to grab my hands and drag me away from Gerard.  
“Mikey is right Frank, there is nothing to worry about. I will see you very, very soon.” Gerard spoke, speaking louder as he walked backwards, and over the hustle and bustle of everyone else making their way toward the woods. “I love you!” Gerard shouted, and I replied, but my voice didn't carry over the crowd. I just hope he knows that I love him as well.

Mikey and Ben took me to the left side of the woods, the area I hadn't touched earlier. Both Mikey and Ben also had a blanket hooked under their arms. When we walked for a further five minutes in awkward silence, we all seemed to stop and look up at the sky, noticing it glowing with reds and pinks as the sun was setting behind the trees.  
Without saying anything we all stripped from our clothes and wrapped ourselves up in the blankets. “Frank, pass me your clothes and we can put them all here together.” Ben said, exposing an arm from under his blanket for me to pass my shoes, dress and underwear to him. He took Mikeys clothes aswell and placed them all in a pile at the bottom of a large pine tree, larger than all the other trees in the general area, and so much easier to find in the morning when we would require them again. Not that we would need our sight to find our clothes. In wolf form, our sense of smell was increased and we would be able to find our way back here from miles.

“So, do you think anyone else will be mated tonight?” Mikey asked, looking at both Ben and myself, trying to fill up the silence.  
“Well, I hope I get mated, as always!” Ben laughed looking at both of us and blushing. We all laughed along with him until I realised they were waiting for me to answer as well.  
“Um, I don't know if I should tell you or not...” I began, looking down at my feet as my toes dug into the dirt in a nervous tic. “But... I spoke to Elena earlier... and she mentioned that the elders are planning on mating another couple tonight,” I told them, hoping that no one else was around to listen to me tell them. I probably should have kept it to myself, but I wanted them to accept me, and gossiping is the best way to make friends.  
“Ohhh, no way, I wonder who it is going to be...” Ben pondered, plunging us into another silence.

I could feel a tingling starting from my toes, and I knew that the sun was going to set any minute now. All three of us were becoming fidgety and on edge.

My nerves were disappearing and in its place, I could feel myself changing into something new and familiar, a part of me which made me, me.

I was turning into the wolf.


	15. Preparation for Fertility Part 1

Whenever I stand up too fast, or haven't eaten for a while, I get a head rush. My vision goes white and slowly patches of reality appear. But for a few seconds I am blind, I can feel my body sway from a missing sense, and I feel vulnerable.

Changing into my wolf form is pretty much, just like that. But on top of having limited vision, and uncertainty of which way is up; my body burns with an intense heat, as if my skin is being twisted, skin against skin in a vice grip. It doesn't hurt at all, because in the few seconds it takes to make the transformation, my body tingles in a full body pins and needles, I feel numb, yet can feel the heat from the burn.

Now on all fours, I felt as if I have always been a wolf. That this is my true form, and that my “man” form only holds me back, making me appear to be the species I despise: human.

Feeling the damp earth spread between the gaps in my paws, I held my eyes closed, breathing in through my muzzle and smelling the area for the first time. As if I had, had a cold, and only now could smell. Opening my eyes to the sound of howls, I saw two wolves where Ben and Mikey had stood moments before.

Where Mikey was stood, a dark grey wolf took his place, a blanket around his thin, yet muscular legs. The second wolf – Ben – had moved from his original place, and was dragging his green blanket over to the tree with the clothes under.

Werewolves can communicate by simply talking to one another, if a passer by was to listen, all they would hear were small whimpers and growls, even if doms were to communicate in wolf form, fertiles would only hear a wolfs, howls and barks. I guess its an evolutionary thing, - only allowing werewolves to understand and communicate in wolf form. Before our species were outed, it must have been useful to stay undercover from humans, them only perceiving us as wolves.

Despite being able to talk to one another, we stayed in relative silence as we cantered though the woods in the direction of the growing amount of howls reverberating off of the trees.

Passing by a lake, which was as smooth as the white of the moon which was rising in the sky; I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My stark white fur stood out from the shades of dark blues and blacks surrounding us, and I began feeling self conscious of my colour.  
So far all of the wolves I have seen belonging to the Way pack, had, had dark, or black shades of fur. Only now dawning on me that I would stick out further in this pack. - In the Iero pack, they majority of us were white or grey, with a few sandy brown werewolves here and there.  
My suspicions were correct as we walked through a fringe of closely packed trees and into a large open field, there must have been over a hundred wolves already in the clearing, and many more were only just coming through the trees from opposite sides of the field. Wolves varied in sizes, making it clear whom was dom, who was fertile and handfuls of small cubs were scattered here and there, many of which were play fighting, bouncing down on their forearms and jumping up and over each other. And out of all of them, I didn't see a single other with pale white fur, and so I was the main focus point of everyone as we passed them by, making our way over to a group of wolves sitting near the left side of the field.

Sitting down amongst the group I felt deja vu creeping up my back. How many times had I sat amongst unmated fertiles in previous full moon meetings back at home? How many times had I wondered “will tonight be the night”, but now the uncertainty was gone. Tonight would be the night, and one other wolf sitting around me would also be called up to be mated.

Many of the fertiles around me were talking to one another, having an innocent gossip of whom they thought would perhaps be mated next, listening to their conversations, the majority believed that “Alice” would be mated tonight, maybe with “Chris”, who was apparently the “hottest” of the doms up for grabs. I tried to block their conversation out, it just seemed so trivial to have to listen to what they had to say. I surprised myself with this thought, seeing as only a month ago I was having similar conversations with my friends at the last full moon.

As time went on, the flow of wolves entering the clearing slowed down, and everyone began to settle. Directly opposite our group of unmated fertiles, sat the unmated doms, and scanning my eyes along their characteristics, I tried to find Gerard amongst them. The small infant cubs sat at the front of the crowd, and the larger, older doms sat further back, so that everyone could see what was happening in the centre of the field. In which was a large circle of mated werewolves sat. The circle was made of dominator werewolves, prehaps around two hundred, all of which sat on their hind legs looking to the head of the circle where the elders where stood.  
Behind each dom in the circle, sat their mate, making a double ring with roughly a thrirty meter diameter.  
It clearly showed the hierarchy within the pack, and it brought order and tradition to the full moon meetings.  
Pack elders, mated dominators, mated fertiles, unmated doms and fertiles. It made sense to organise this way, as it helped keep tabs on who needed mating, and who was absent.

At the head of the circle were two wolves;- a large old black wolf, whose eyes stroke fear to my core. And a slightly smaller old grey wolf, whose eyes only shone with kindness as she looked out amongst the pack, looking onto everyone with sincerity.  
Seeing as this old grey wolf was the alpha female, I guessed that it was Elena, as in the Way pack, she was the packmother.  
The packmother was the werewolf which was usually fertile, who would watch over the pack, and make sure everyone was cared for. They would usually find the most suitable people within the pack to be mated, and would help young mothers raise their children, and generally make sure everyone was okay with everything.  
The black wolf must be Gerard's grandfather - Elena's mate. He is the Alpha of the pack, strong, fierce and protective of his family.  
When they both through their heads back and howled, the rest of the pack followed their lead.  
Soon the whole field was in a harmony of calls, the moon was near enough over head and the meeting had begun.

When the howling had stopped several minutes later, there was an airy silence, as everyone looked forward to the alpha, waiting for him to say something.  
“Hail, Hail, Hail,” His voice was rough, yet it held years of authority, “Great wolf spirit hail,” The little cubs which were fidgeting had ceased doing so, and started in wonderment at the large black wolf, “A boon I ask thee, mighty shade. Within this circle I have made. Make me a werewolf, strong and bold, the terror alike of young and old.” His strong voice echoed around the clearing and not a sound was heard.  
“Now, to the business of the night. I am sure you have all heard what my grandson has done to the pack.” The black wolf snarled, starting his pace around the large circle, looking into the eyes of every dom he passed. “There is nothing we can do no apart from forgive his actions, we must move on and accept the fact that he has purposefully wound our pack to the Iero's of south New Jersey. And so from this night on, the Iero pack joins to ours, and they will be known as an extension to the Way pack. There is no longer two packs, but we are one.  
“The plan for moving to a larger household for us both has been moved forward. We have ordered hundreds more human workers to try and build the house in Wharton, in a shorter time span.  
“The house is to be finished in roughly five months, by then, we will all move there, so that our pack can live together as one unit.  
“I know the change is unwanted for many of you whom have jobs in nearby towns, out outside of the pack, and I can assure you, that if you speak to Jerry in the office in the west wing, he will arrange a job in Wharton for when we move.  
“I am also aware that to arrange and order a bedroom for yourself and your children you will need to speak with my eldest son Donald.” The large black wolf continued with his speech. Was this what Donald couldn't tell me yesterday? That the pack will combine in not a few years but a few months! This was amazing news! I wonder if my parents knew about this, and if they don't, I would have to call them tomorrow.

“This month we have lost one of our own. Fred passed away earlier this week, and he will be missed greatly, for anyone wishing to pay their respects, we will hold a burial for him later this week, and so keep a watch on the kitchens notice board for information detailing that.” By now the black wolf had come full circle, and with a pained expression he sat down slowly, taking his weight off of his front leg which he had limped on. Maybe it were an old hunting wound, or prehaps just his old age.  
Elena then stepped forward and began talking of the part of the evening I was hoping would never come.

“Now, we have two couples to mate tonight, and I believe they are perfect for each other in every way possible.” walking to the centre of the circle, Elena crooked her neck to look over the wolves making the circle so that she could look out at the crowd of unmated dominator wolves.  
“Gerard. Robert, please come forward.” Elena spoke to the two doms. The black wolf I had come to call my own stepped into the circle, and slowly stridded over to Elena, wagging his tail, and leaving his mouth open in a lopsided grin; typical Gerard behaviour, no matter what form he was in. A second wolf followed Gerard into the circle and stood near him, also facing Elena.  
He looked oddly familiar although I was certain I had never seen this certain wolf before. Robert? I don't think Gerard introduced me to a Robert. Only really, a Ray and a Bob. Unless Bob was short for Robert. - With a second glance at the sandy coloured wolf in the circle, I realised that it most probably is Bob, no one else had such fair coloured fur, and it matched perfectly to his usual blonde hair.

Someone from the crowd wolf whistled – no pun intended – and another shouted “aren't they just perfect together!” the majority of the pack laughed along with the joke and a few others including myself weren't impressed.  
“Very funny Jepha, you are lucky your mother didn't hear that, but I did, so either be quiet or you can leave now.” Elena warned, snapping her muzzle at him as he sat amongst the unmated doms, shrinking down at her words.  
“Now. Frank, please come here, you are to be mated with Gerard,” Elena spoke to me, and then faced everyone else “If you don't know already, Gerard and Frank were mated nearly a week ago, but this is the first full moon since, and so its a little bit out of order, but tradition is tradition!” Elena smiled down at me as I came to stand shoulder to shoulder with Gerard, I could see him looking out of the corner of his eye at me, and to what I assumed, he was smiling at me. I was too nervous to do anything, so instead I resorted to looking down at the floor in front of me, looking at Gerard and I's paws, and taking note on the extreme difference, him being as dark as midnight, and me being as light as the full moon, we oddly matched in our extremes, and it warmed the pit of my stomach knowing it.  
“Now, Robert, you were a difficult one. I have known you very well since you were only I little cub, and I can't think of any more of a perfect mate for you, than my other grandson, Michael. I hope you two are happy with each other just like I have been with my Matthew.” So the alpha was Matthew.  
By this time, Mikey had walked to stand next to Bob, shoulder to shoulder. Gerard and bob were stood inbetween, and so I couldn't see what I imagined a look of shock on Mikeys face.  
“Just as our mothers, mothers have passed down their knowledge and care. They have also passed along their love, and have given us the power to take what the moon gives to us. We ask the moon to bless, not only these two new couples, but also every other mated couple here tonight. Ancestors, we ask of you tonight, to bring fertility to all here under the moons power, we beg that you watch over these four young werewolves and bring happiness to them in their lifetime.” Elena spoke, looking up at the moon. Many others were either looking up at the moon or closing their eyes, and believing in the words she spoke.  
This is when I realised it was my turn to start. Nerves now gone, I turned my head to look at Gerard. He was looking ahead, his tail straight. Excitement for our future together, I nuzzled my face to Gerard's jaw. Running my head under his neck and to his ear.  
With my tongue I began to lick his face and his muzzle, showing him that I was his. I was submissive to him.  
Gerard and I walked anti parallel to one another, rubbing our bodies from nose to tail. Showing to ourselves and everyone else that we were mated with each other. That we would be loyal no matter what. Fur against fur was comforting, without saying anything to one another it gave a silent message. 'I will always be here to love you'.  
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mikey and Bob doing similar signs of affection, but in that moment it felt as if no one else was watching, it was just Gerard and I, and I needed to show him how much he owned me.

Crouching down on my front legs, and tucking my tail between my legs, I crawled toward Gerard, who was parading around me. When I looked up at him, I knew in that moment, and I knew he knew.  
Rolling over onto my stomach, he began to lick my face. He then began to smell my genital area, and now tell me how I was not meant to be nervous about this with everyone watching? But Gerard was right, this was a natural part of our species courtship. During this display of affection, Gerard will make my body enter a stage of preparation. As if on cue, I urinated over my stomach, much to my embarrassment, but I knew it was going to occur anyway. - Just like real wolves, werewolves would urinate to show submission to the dominator. In a few days, I would be fertile, and if Gerard and I agreed, we could try for baby. But was I ready for that?


	16. Preparation for Fertility Part 2

How are you meant to know if you are ready to do something or not? You either do something in life and think 'Fuck! Why didn't I do this sooner, I was meant for this.' Or on the other hand you think 'why did I ever think I was ready to take this on, this is the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life.' When can you decide, when is it safe to make the decision. How can you tell?

After the meeting, Gerard took me to the lake I passed earlier. Now, the moon was at its apex in the sky, and it created a perfect circle on the water. Without saying a word to one another, I walked into the lake and I could feel the water cleaning my stomach. Not wanting to stay in the cold for too long, I ran out next to Gerard. Avoiding a few wolves passing here and there, the pack spreading out from the field, off into the woods, another clearing or into the streets, finding somewhere else to spend the rest of their night.

“I love you Frank” Gerard spoke to me, the first thing either of us had said since parting ways at the house.  
“I love you too Gerard,” I said, looking up and into his eyes, and only seeing the love which they radiated.  
With a streak of mischief, I walked close to Gerard and shook my body, making sure he was splattered with the drops of water.  
Laughing at his shocked expression, I took off into the woods, running and weaving through the trees in glee, with Gerard hot on my trail.

Digging my feet into the loose soil, I gained more friction, pushing myself forwards, and leaving a trail of laughter behind me.  
Breathing deeply though my nose, I could smell the life all around me. The smell of the dirt which held everything, it supported the tall trees, the smell of pine, still fresh after yesterdays rain. The smell of the late summer flowers, blooming their last colours before winter.  
With Gerard getting closer, my own scent filled my lungs, the familiar large pine tree came into view, and I noticed the pile of clothing underneath.  
Slowing my pace, only slightly Gerard caught up to me and pounced on my back, causing us both to tumble to the floor, and roll over one another. When the motion stopped and the dizziness faded, I noticed I was left on my back, looking up to Gerard above me. Leaning down he licked from my neck, all up my face, in a kiss.  
Giggling I looked up in to his eyes, and struggled to keep my stare on him. I could feel my eyes drooping with sleep, and I was fighting the battle to stay awake. Today had been a long day and our run had worn me out.  
“Lets go find somewhere to sleep,” Gerard said, observing my tired state and walking over to the tree to retrieve my blanket. Picking it up in his mouth, with a quick flick of his head he managed to rest the blanket on his back.  
“We can come back here in the morning to get your clothes. We won't go to far,” Gerard said, as he began to walk through the trees, with me following close on his trail. Pretty soon, the trees thinned and opened up into a small clearing. With a quick glance around, I realised it was the same small space which we had, had the picnic in earlier.  
“This is our little space, its even beautiful at night,” I breathed to Gerard, as he directed me to the middle of the circular area.  
Lying down on the soft grass, I rested my head on my arms, Gerard disappearing from my vision to walk behind me.  
As soft as a feather, and as light as a summer breeze, Gerard placed the blanket on me, and continued to walk around me, using his teeth to pull it into place to cover my body.  
“You should go to sleep Frankie, I will protect you,” Gerard spoke softly as he too came and lay next to me, his head resting on my shoulder, wrapping my back with his chest.  
“Night. I love you.” he spoke, nuzzling his head down against my own.  
“I love you too,” I spoke, closing my eyes and hoping to fall asleep.  
While trying to calm my mind, I continued to have visions of a little cub, curling up next to us here, Gerard sitting, guarding over us. Myself, nuzzling and licking the small cub as he fell asleep in a mix of my fur.  
Shaking the imagery out of my head I tried to focus again on making my mind blank for sleep. But now it was a different dream of me in the house, holding a little baby in my arms as he fell asleep, soft waves of black hair resting against his rosy skin.  
Did I want a baby with Gerard? Yes. But was I really ready for that? How would I know without taking that leap. But maybe Gerard wouldn't want a baby with me just yet, or maybe he doesn't want a child at all.  
There was no way I could fall asleep now, I was so tired, but the uncertainty would keep me awake nether the less.  
“Gerard?” I whispered, hoping he had not yet fallen asleep.  
There was no reply for an agonisingly long moment, and then a oft grunt was heard.  
“Gerard, I need to ask you something,” I continued to whisper. Perhaps it was the uncertainty of Gerard's answer which compelled me to whisper into the night. Maybe if I spoke softly and he said no, I could convince myself that as I was speaking so quietly, he misunderstood. Or maybe I was just a coward.  
“What do you want to know Frankie?” Gerard now sounded wide awake, and as he talked his throat rubbed against my neck.  
“Gerard... You know,” I paused thinking of the best way to say this, I hadn't even known Gerard very long and I needed to know what he thought of a serious subject, “You know we were mated officially tonight?” I stopped to hear the small 'mhmm' and took that as a yes to continue, “Well, I was thinking, and... in a few days I will become fertile...”  
He fidgeted behind me, obviously anticipating what the conversation was going to detail.  
“I, -I...” not knowing what to say, I clenched my eyes tight, hoping to think of what to say.  
“Frankie, I love you,” Gerard voiced, trying to speak for me.  
“and I love you too,” I whispered, pushing myself back into his warmth.  
“and I know you love me. I will be with you for the rest of our lives, and I want you to mother my children,” Changing his position, Gerard moved his head from my neck, - leaving it feel cold and vulnerable without him, - and instead faced the back of my head, I could feel him lick the think fur then, and it was comforting. “maybe... if you want to. Maybe in a few days we could... we could try for a baby,” Gerard spoke, going back to licking the back of my hair.  
He wanted a baby too? And he wanted to try. “Gerard, I would really like that,” my voice loud and confident.  
Gerard laughed nervously and replaced his head back on my neck, “Well thats a good start. Goodnight Frankie.” Gerard said, his head weighing down on my neck, as he fell asleep.  
Doing the same, I welcomed the dreams of the two of us with a baby, falling asleep smoothly.


	17. Sunlight

I love lying on a carpet floor, and feeling the sunlight on my body, its rays shining in through the window, and warming, not burning. There is no wind, and the carpet is comforting but still slightly scratchy against your skin.  
When I was younger, I used to pretend I was a cat, I would purr, and curl up in the rays of light. That feeling, isn't anything you can describe with one word, its nothing like 'happy', or 'angry'. Its too complex to describe with one word.

The previous days with Gerard have been that emotion. After the full moon, we spent three days slouching around the house, Gerard carrying me from room to room. We wore baggy clothing and thick socks which slid on the kitchen tiles when we had lunch with Mikey and Bob.  
During these lunches, we talked about everything and nothing. We discussed the ceremony, and Gerard and I both commented on how happy we were that they were mate with one another. We talked about the new teaching job, Gerard's mother, Donna, managed to get for me. I will be starting next monday and I will be teaching Fertile 101 classes at the local high school. Donna mentioned that the job will only be for five months before we all move to Wharton, where I may be legible to apply for a similar teaching position.  
We didn't mention it to anyone else, but Gerard and I continued to discuss the possibility of starting a family together. The way Gerard talked, the way his eyes shined when he talked, shone out to me about how much he wanted to have children. Gerard told me about how he wants to teach them so many things, and be a father to love them and be there friend as well as parent.  
Now that we were thinking about children, we saw them everywhere, running around, laughing and sleeping in their parents laps. We would watch them and then share a knowing look with each other, and without saying anything between us, we knew that it was what we both wanted.

Last night, Gerard's grandfather celebrated his seventy-eighth birthday. The majority of the pack gathered in the kitchen area, there was food spread around the room, and alcohol was divided amongst the adults, and snuck around the teenagers. Gerard introduced me to him, face to face for the first time. He was much kinder, softer somehow, in his human form, and he hugged me and welcomed me to the family. His eyes crinkled when he smiled and it reminded me of my own pappy. Not surprisingly, he was very busy, and soon I was growing tired.

Gerard took me to bed, and tucked me in, wrapping his arms around me in the darkness, allowing me to bury my face in his chest, and sleep with his scent as my lullaby.

-

Waking up from a throbbing in my dick, I fluttered my eyes open to see Gerard sleeping on his back, with his right arm still wrapped underneath my body. As reality slowly filtered back to me, I noticed that I was moving my hips up against Gerards leg. My erection having no satisfaction from the friction it caused. Whimpering, I dragged my hand under the bed covers, and began stroking myself at a fast pace. Nothing, no pleasure at all from my hand. Perhaps the years from only using my hand for self-pleasure had worn off.  
It was if the need to 'get off' was growing more and more, and nothing I was doing was helping my situation. With a grunt, I pulled my hand back out of my pyjama bottoms, and licked from my middle finger, down my hand and across my thumb. Sticking the now lubed hand back around my dick, I tried again, this time, swinging my right leg over Gerard, so that I could snap my hips forward.  
With a strangled half scream of frustration at nothing reliving the pressure, only adding to it; I ripped the covers off the bed completely, and yanked Gerard's boxers down, tearing the hem slightly in my rush. Straddling Gerard's hips, I looked down at his face, just wanting him to relieve the aching.  
“God dammit Gerard, wake up!” I screeched, looking down at the still sleeping man with a huff.  
Losing all patience, I raised my right hand and swung down on Gerard's face as hard as I could, causing him to blink open in shock and try to sit up.  
“WHAT? What's the matter?” Gerard asked, eyes blinking around the room for any danger.  
“I needed you to wake up and fuck me, ass hole! FUCK YOU, GERARD! You were sleeping, and I need you awake for this!” With complete frustration I grabbed Gerard's still limp cock, causing him to yelp at my grip on him.  
“FUCK! Gerard just fucking fuck me already you fucker!” I demanded, pushing my erection down into Gerard's stomach and tightening my hold on him, he was becoming hard very slowly and I just don't have the patience for this in the morning.  
“Calm down Frank, okay, just- just give me a minute okay! I have only just woke up, and I can't get hard that fast, christ, Frank!” Gerard said, in a rather soothing voice which only seemed to rile me up even more.  
“Arrghhhh!” I huffed, leaning forward in Gerard's lap, and latching my teeth into his shoulder, breaking the skin and tasting his blood.  
“Ow! Ow, Frank, calm down, okay?” Gerard asked, trying to smooth my hair and move me away from his shoulder.

I knew it was my hormones, and I feel like I should feel guilty for acting toward Gerard like this, but I was painfully hard, and the only way it would go away is if Gerard did something NOW.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” I whispered over and over again, revolving my hips on Gerard's lap, trying to encourage him to be ready.

With a growl, Gerard pushed me off of him, making me land on my stomach on the bed, lying parallel to the top of the bed. Landing, my breath caught from the sudden movement, and my brain went blank in shock.  
Gerard continued to growl as he moved behind me on the bed.  
Whimpering I could feel myself worrying that I had gone too far. Whispering, in fear of Gerard, I tried to sound calmer, “Gerard, I- I am sorry, please, I- I... It's just that, I love you so much, and-” my train of thought was cut off, when his hands hooked around my hips, and hitched my body upwards so that I was on my elbows and knees. Yelping, my eyes opened wide, and I stared at the dimly lit room of the morning.

When Gerard went silent, I felt the urge to look behind me, to see what he was doing, but just as I was about to turn my head left and look over my shoulder, I felt it. Warm and wet at my entrance, slow rubbing and flicking. Moaning I pushed backwards into the feeling. The feeling of wet heat oozing into me, and fuck. Fuck, Vibrating, as Gerard moaned. It was his tongue, and he continued to lick and flick at my entrance, pushing closer, and tighter, rubbing and moulding into me.  
A continuous pulse of pleasure washing over me in waves, over and over as his tongue stroked and prodded, harder and faster.  
Both of us were moaning as I rocked backwards to him. My moans soon turned impatient, as the pain in my cock drew away the pleasure.

“Please, Gee, Please, I need you to fuck me, please.” Before I even finished my sentence, Gerard's mouth retreated from me, and instead his dick rammed straight into me, as far as he would go, the 'please' in my plea came out more like a strangled cry of pleasure, as my body flew forward, my arms giving in, and my face moulding with the mattress. My knees shook as Gerard pulled out and slammed back in again, “Aoooghh!” I gasped, my mouth pooling saliva onto the bed, as my face rubbed backwards and forwards against the material, as Gerard trusted in and out of me. Fast and hard. Unlike any other times we were intimate with one another, this was different, this wasn't love making, this was pure rough sex.  
Gerard grunted on every thrust, filling the room with “Ugh, ugh, unf, ugh” and mixing with the clear slap of wet skin on skin, and the low murmur ringing out through my throat.  
Feeling Gerard's pre-cum spilling, and running inside my thighs, I screamed and gripped the mattress as I shook and came all over the bed.

Without giving me any time to recover, Gerard wrapped his arms around my chest, and pulled me up so that we were both kneeling, as he continued to thrust, his movement now directed upwards, and from the new angle, he hit my prostate dead on every time.  
Reaching my arm backwards I wrapped it around Gerard's neck, tugging on his hair, making him cry out. Twisting my body, with one arm, I grabbed Gerard's hold on my chest, and laced my fingers over his. With the other hand, I pulled Gerard closer and stroked my tongue against his, in an open mouthed hasty kiss, full of moans and grunts and biting teeth on scrapped lips.

Gerard's thrusts became deeper, pulling nearly fully out and them slamming back in. “Fuck Frank, so hot, gonna cum, ughh, fucking love you!” Gerard screamed as he thrust a final time, exploding inside me, his heat spreading deep within me. Collapsing forward, we fell on the bed, Gerard lying on top of me. Only a sheen of sweat separating my back and his chest. Pulling out of me smoothly, Gerard still didn't move, and although his weight was surrounding me, I wouldn't change any of it.


	18. Sometimes

Sometimes I laugh, just because I need to. I need to laugh, because a feeling I can't pin-point needs to burst from my chest. I don't know what would happen if I didn't laugh, I don't want to know what would happen. Sometimes I need to scrunch my eyes shut, just to arrange my thoughts, to see things without looking. To find what is right. Sometimes I need to cry. Sometimes, everyone needs to cry.

Lying face down sweaty and exhausted, Gerard's heavy breathing moved the hairs at the back of my neck.  
“Just think,” Gerard spoke, wrapping his arms around me, “We could have just created a little baby.” Gerard giggled, and it sounded odd, and yet comforting.  
“Well... just to make sure...” I blushed, burying my face into the covers. I was embarrassed, completely and utterly, we had only had sex less than ten minutes ago, but I needed more.  
“Frank. You can't be serious.” Gerard laughed, grabbing my shoulder and rolling me onto my back. Trying to fight against Gerard's grip was pointless, and I couldn't hide it any more; my erection was flat against my stomach, and Gerard looked at it with raised eyebrows.  
“I am sorry,” I whispered, pulling the covers over my naked body, “It, I- it must be my hormones or something, I am sorry, I just- it-” I failed to think of a way to explain to Gerard, and I felt like I was going to cry.  
God I must look pathetic. Gerard was still silent, looking down at me as he thought, his face unreadable. I couldn't hold it in any more, and my voice broke on a sigh, causing my body to curl up and convulse as I cried.  
“Hey, hey, Frank, don't cry please, I wasn't laughing at you, I was, y'know,” Gerard begged, scooping me up into his arms and wrapping the covers around the both of us, “I just wasn't expecting it, is all Frankie. Please don't cry,” Blinking away my tears I looked up at Gerard. Without saying anything, we looked into each others eyes.  
Looking into his eyes then, I think I finally got to know who Gerard was. Gerard is... nothing I can describe, he is something entirely different, someone incredible.  
Leaning forward with tears in his own eyes, Gerard kissed my left cheek and then my right, brushing my tears, leaving drops on his lips.

I had no idea why we were both crying, why we were both shedding tears onto each other. Gerard placed his lips on mine, and I could taste the salt.  
Gerard laid me down softly on the bed, his hands supporting my weight and then moving to grasp my hands in his. Ever so slowly he kissed my eyelids, my nose, and my mouth. It was sweet and innocent, it was indescribable. His lips left a tingle in their wake, and as Gerard moved back, we both looked into each others souls. Ever so slowly I wrapped my legs around Gerard's waist, pulling his body down on top of my own. Gerard let go of one of my hands, and he stroked along my chest, to wrap it around the back of my neck. His other hand never left mine, his fingers interlacing with my own, our palms flat against the others.

My free hand reached and cupped Gerard's cheek, just as he entered me, smooth and warm.  
For what felt like a life-time, neither of us dared move. We were trapped in each others gazes. More intimate than we had ever been before, so open, so vulnerable.  
Both of us continued to cry silently as Gerard removed his stare, and nestled his head in the crook of my neck, where he lightly kissed with chapped lips.

Stroking Gerard's hair we lay together, entwined, without any need to move, we were content just feeling like one. Gerard wrapped his free arm around, underneath my body, and held me close to him, pulling me over onto my side.

We continued to roll, from side to side on the bed, becoming dizzy and forgetting who was holding who. Enjoying the light caresses and the feeling of being weightless. Our tears mixed together, and the feelings of sadness were replaced with the happiness of having one another.  
I have no idea why we were both overcome with sadness, but that was long forgotten, as the loving caresses, turned to grasps, as we clung to each other, rolling over each other, and not knowing where we were, apart from being near the other, as we climaxed at the same time, both of our bodies, moulding into the other, a silent cry out as the pleasure pulsed through us both. Our hearts beating as one.

Looking back into Gerard's eyes I saw nothing but love, nothing but love for me. Smiling we regained our breaths, detaching our bodies, except for our hands which remained interlaced.  
Gerard leaned forwards and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“You'll never cry alone Frank,” Gerard whispers, his throat raspy.


	19. Back to School

You know after you have eaten something? Maybe some crisps or a cracker? And you get all the mushed up crumbs leftover in your mouth; I have never really decided if I find it annoying or kinda nice. Sure if I am in public I try to suck the food away as fast as I can, but if I am at home doing nothing in particular, I just leave it wash away by itself, tasting the food, and remembering the flavours. Thats what sunday mornings remind me of. I don't know why, and I don't really want to know why. All I know, is that, that is what it feels like.  
I really love Sundays.

Gerard and I spent our Sunday lounging around the house, doing nothing in particular, after the mornings shower activities, I think its safe to say that my urges have passed. Even though it was great to stay in our bedroom for two days, having room service, and constant sex, I think it was nice to escape from the room, no longer a slave to my hormones.

Both Gerard and I were completely worn out, it was very tiring to try and make a baby. Pleasurable, sure, but tiring. And so we spent the day in one of the many lounges. Gerard lay out on one of the many black couches, pulling me down on top of him. Snuggling into his chest, we didn't move until I was gently shook awake. Gerard informed me that I stared work tomorrow, and so he carried me to our room, to get an early night.  
The next thing I am conscious of, is Gerard standing in front of the bedroom mirror trying to adjust his tie. “Morning,” I sigh out as I stretch my arms above my head, “what are you getting all dressed up for?”  
Gerard huffed, and pulled roughly on his tie, “My interview for that new job I was telling you about has been moved forward to today. I got a call about half an hour ago.”  
About a week ago, Gerard sent off his application to the werewolf protection agency, it had bases all around the country, and Gerard applied for the one here, where the majority of the Way pack work.

“Come here,” I told Gerard patting the bed next to me. When he sat down, I giggled at his expression, as I made his tie for him.  
“You better get ready, so I can drop you off at the school on the way to my interview,” Gerard smiled, leaning in to kiss me.

Giggling, I hopped out of bed and skipped to the wardrobe. Choosing a blouse and a skirt, I placed them on the bed while I put on some fresh underwear and some black tights.

When we were both dressed, we walked hand in hand to the kitchen. It was full with families, everyone sitting down and eating breakfast before work and school. Grabbing some toast Gerard dragged me outside to the huge car park, near the car park was a waiting area with an office. Gerard went up to the counter, and asked for a two person car for the day. When he was handed the keys, he then took me to the car which was allocated to us for the day.  
The pack shared the cars, as it wasn't necessary to have a car each. There was also a bus waiting in the car park, ready to take the children and teenagers in the pack to school.

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence. I rested my hand on Gerard's thigh, and whenever he got the chance, he glanced at me with a smile before looking back at the road ahead of us.  
The journey only took around ten minutes, until we took a left turn into the car park of a huge red-bricked building. Gerard turned the engine off, and turned to look at me.  
“I hope your interview goes well today,” I smiled, kissing Gerard's cheek.  
Gerard in return threaded his fingers through my long hair and brought my mouth back to meet his, “Good luck on your first day,” his voice ghosted across my lips, before his tongue slipped over my lips and into my mouth, moulding and rubbing against my own. Moaning into the kiss, I ran my fingers though Gerard's shaggy hair, grasping onto it. He freed my mouth with a snap and trailed his lips down to my neck, licking and nipping before sucking at the heat at the base of my neck. Groaning at the seat belt which was still holding me in place. My hands fluttered down to try and free myself, when a rapping at the door's window, made me switch my attention. Gerard detached his lips from my neck and sat bolt upright just as fast.  
Gerard's mother Donna was stood, stooping down to see into the car, waving at us through the glass.  
“Hi boys,” Donna smiled.  
Blushing, and trying to get my breathing back to normal, I looked over at Gerard to see him in a similar position to me, “I- um,” I unlocked my seatbelt and reached for the door, “will you pick me up at the end of the day?” I asked, looking at the collar of Gerard's shirt, up to his lips, soft and waiting- and quickly to his eyes. His mother was watching and waiting and I didn't want to get too distracted.  
“Sure, um, four o'clock?” Gerard asked as I got out of the car.  
“Thank you,” I smiled, leaning back in the car to kiss his lips, “I love you,”  
“I love you too,” Gerard whispered back, “I'll miss you.” He smiled, kissing my lips again.  
“Okay, okay, you both love each other, I am very happy for the both of you, I love you both too, Gerard will be here at four to pick you up Frank okay? Gerard good luck with the interview. Oh look there goes the school bell and you have made me late as well now, so come on!” Donna rushed, pulling at my arm, closing the car door with her hip, and leading me up the steps into the school building.

Inside, there was a rush as people moved up and down the corridor. Yet Donna was a woman on a mission as she practically dragged me through the hustle and bustle, pulling me this way, that way, every way.  
Finally we made it to a calm corridor, either no one really explored down here, or the classes had begun and everyone who was once rushing in the corridor was now sat in their elected classrooms.  
“Down this hallway, are the rooms specifically for werewolves, the right hand side are traditionally dominator studies, and the left hand side here are for Fertile 101 lessons.” Donna gestured to the left side of the corridor. “Nothing too fancy, but its nice for the kids to get away from the humans every now and then don't you think sweetie?” Nodding, Donna smiled and continued leading me down the corridor, “Now this room here, '221B' will be your classroom,” Donna smiled at me, pushing the door open.

The room itself was decorated with yellow paint, many posters covered the walls, some depicting the fertile reproductive organs, and others listing the do's and dont's of how to care for both your dominator mate, and new baby.  
There were windows on the opposite side of the door, and a huge chalkboard on the right as you walk into the large room. School tables were arranged facing the front of the room, with their individual chairs attached to them with a metal bar.

“You don't have a lesson first period, so you can look over the notes I have left for you on the desk, they just inform you about the specification for this school year. Your classes, have only had a substitute teacher for the first few weeks of this term, so you have a lot of catching up to do. Your first class should come in at ten o'clock, so until then, just prepare yourself. I would love to stay and help but I have a tonne of work myself. You will be fine, so I'll see you at lunch, kay?” Donna smiled, and then she was gone, and I was alone.

Wiping my hands on my black skirt, I made my way over to the teachers desk, which was now coincidently my desk.  
Sitting down in the desk chair, I had a good look around the room. I was really looking forward to today, it is something I have always wanted to do, and it seems like so much fun.  
Looking down at the hand written note from Donna, she had bullet-pointed where the books and supply's were – in the back closet.  
She also wrote the year's topics for each class, pregnancy; how to care for your mate; how to look after new borns at full moon; secrets to a happy relationship; basic cooking 101; how to sexually please your mate – for seniors only!  
The list went on.

Looking at the class schedule, apparently, the first class I would be teaching is a freshman about reproduction. Great.  
Looking at the books listed for this topic, I got the respected books from the closet at the back of the room, and then placed one on each desk, bar one, which I took back to the desk.

The next hour was spent reading over the topic, and thinking “Holy shit, this is actually it! I am a teacher!”. My nerves were gone, and now I can't wait to start teaching.  
The bell rang, and the hallway outside the classroom came alive. Standing up and smoothing down my skirt, I stood facing the door, smiling at my class as they entered the door. A few smiled back at me, while others hung their heads low walking into the room in a fast scurried shuffle.  
When the class had all come in, I walked to the door, and closed it lightly, trying to hide my smile, - I definitely did not want them thinking I was crazy. At least not on my first day, - and I am pretty sure smiling like a whacko, constitutes as 'hey my teacher is a crazy paedophile!'.

Turning back to the class and walking to stand behind my desk, every one was silent and watching me. “Hey, um, I am your new Fertile 101 teacher, you can just call me Frank. Honestly I am too young for you to call me sir or anything, now that would be crazy!” I laughed, and then realised that they hadn't been in my head in the past few minutes and so wouldn't know why I found that funny, and oh my god, maybe I am crazy. Gerard probably wouldn't like me as much as he does if I was crazy. Oh holy fuck everyone is watching you stare off into space Frank, what an idiot, fucking say something or I swear to god, I will go crazy. Talking to yourself in your head isn't crazy right. Just listen to yourself. Frank, you are still not talking. Fuck, fuck, fucking say anything!  
“Um, today, we will start our new topic on reproduction,” that got a few giggles out of the class and I am glad they have forgotten about the awkward silence a minute ago, “so, if you could all please open your text-books to page twelve, that would be great.”

Sitting down at my own desk chair, I turned to the same page and I looked down at the reproductive system diagram, covering half of the page. A few giggles were passed amongst everyone. Who wouldn't laugh at a diagram of a dick though?

“Okay, so... a bit of basics... Does anyone know what the chromosomes in humans are for males and females?” I asked, looking out at the class to see a few raised hands, “Uh, yes, what's your name?”

The boy sitting at the front of the class put his hand down, “I am Ryan, and uh, is it like, xx and xy, or something. The human males having xy? I don't really know.” Ryan queered, resting his head on his hand with a thump.

“Really good, Ryan. Yes, the male humans have the chromosomes xy, while the female humans have xx. Basically every human develops in their mothers womb as a female, and then they develop into a male if their chromosome pair is xy. But you have to remember that only females in humans, are able to conceive a child. Males are kind of like werewolf dominator, they don't have the organs to carry a foetus. Now, in humans, is it the egg or the sperm which decides the sex of the baby?” Looking out amongst the sea of hands, I chose a girl sitting near the back.

“Thank you sir, I am called, Amy, sir, and the sperm in humans is either y, or x. Hence deciding the sex, male or female.” A few giggles erupted at the mention of sperm, and I tried to ignore them to give Amy a fair chance.  
“That is correct, yes. But please, call me Frank, seriously.” I could label 'Amy' straight away as one of those swotty kids, who even pissed the teachers off. “Okay, now with werewolves it is a little different. The sperm either carries an x for female, or a y/wy for male. Scientists call the w gene, - the werewolf gene. Half of a dominator sperm is wy, which when fertilised with a fertile egg x, it creates a dominator foetus with chromosomes wxy.  
“For fertiles, it is basically the same as humans, xx for female fertile and xy for male fertile. Although having the same 'sex chromosomes' as humans, we are completely different as we have 48 chromosomes, rather than 46. But I don't need to go into that, because you will learn all about that in your biology lessons.”

That lesson continued by looking at the diagrams for female reproduction. I discussed with them all that because the full moon brings fertility, no female werewolves have what is known as a “period”, a few of the girls in the class sighed at that, telling me that they had heard rumours that werewolves can get them too.  
We then looked at the male fertile diagram, and everyone was cringing at the diagram. Lets just say it isn't a pretty sight. The male “vagina” is just behind the opening to the rectum, and so y'know, everything comes out of there.  
Someone in the class groaned and hit their head on the desk, “I am never going to be able to look at my mom again!” A murmured chorus of agreement resonated in the class and then the sharp shrill of the bell sounded, letting the students know that the lesson was over, and that there other one will begin shortly.  
“Oh, guys, before I forget. For homework, I want you to draw both fertile diagrams and label them, and then bring them in next lesson, okay?” More groaning was heard and then only the noise from the hallway was heard.

Looking down at the schedule, it said that my next class was to help out in one of the dominator classrooms as they are taught about how to appreciate fertiles.  
To be honest, this seemed quite daunting. When I was in school, I knew that fertile 101 teachers helped out in dom studies, and that once in a while a dom teacher was used as an example in fertile 101 lessons.  
Checking the room number, and looking out into the sea of students in the hall, I noticed the class room I need to be in is the room directly opposite from my own. Closing the door behind me and elbowing my way through the crowd, I got to the door, and made a few quick raps, before opening the door, and closing the chaos back behind me.  
An old-ish looking dominator was sat behind his desk, eating an apple in one hand, while in the other he held a pen, scribbling wildly on the papers infront of him.

Clearing my throat I took a tentative step forward, “Hi, I am Frank Iero? Apparently I am meant to be helping you this lesson?” The dom, turned to look at me, his dark eyes looking over his glasses, and contrasting with his salt and pepper hair.  
“Mr Iero. Yes. Take a seat.” The man said, pulling out a stool from his desk and moving it over next to his desk. “The class should be coming in shortly so I don't have time to explain what I need you to do. Just do as I say and it will be fine, okay?” Smiling, he bit the last chunk from his apple, and through it across my lap and into the bin, making me squeak and cling to the stool.

He was right, as soon as the apple core made a clunking noise, hitting the bottom of the bin; the classroom door opened, and in filed a senior dominator class.  
If I was intimidated before from being around just one dom, now I was petrified from the intense aura flowing off of the young men in the room.  
The class was silent, not a rustle, not a sniffle. Blank expressions fixed on young men, sitting nimrod straight in their chairs facing the dom teacher. He was obviously a strict teacher, and his pupils know to treat him with respect. Good for him, but seriously, with a small fertile like me amongst them, it was terrifying.

“Good morning class.” The dom spoke, standing from his chair and clasping his hands behind his back, walking around his desk, with a stern look.  
“Good morning Mr Jones,” the class spoke with about as much enthusiasm as a corpse in a coffin.  
So the teacher was 'Mr Jones' I am guessing. Seems fitting somehow, old fashioned, and strict.  
“Class, I would like to introduce you to Mr Iero, who is the new fertile 101 teacher from across the hall. He is here today to answer any of your questions. Be respectable, and understand that he is more fragile than you are, so treat him with as you would your mother.” Mr Jones snapped, making me flinch upwards in my chair.

A rapping on the door interrupted his speech on manners, and I looked to see what the interruption was.  
A large plump lady poked her head into the room, eyes scanning until she spotted Mr Jones. “Ah! Mr Jones, I am sorry to disrupt your lesson but there is an emergency in the science department, and I need to ask your advice.” the lady turned and smiled when she spotted me, and then held the door open for Mr Jones to walk through. “I will just be one minute class, no talking, I will just be on the other side of this wall!” Mr Jones slammed the door behind him, leaving me alone to face the class continuing their stare at now me.  
Under their gaze I felt trapped, and squirming on the stool didn't seem to lift the eyes. Despite being told not to talk the class rose with volume as they talked amongst themselves.  
When the door handle twitched, the chatter dropped immediately, and when Mr Jones was back in the room I actually felt slight relief. - Weird.  
“Mr Iero, I have to take care of some business, would you mind just answering their questions while I am gone. Thank you.” Mr Jones spoke from the doorway. I felt like I was choking, I was being left alone with them. I had no idea how to teach doms, and I didn't think I needed to. I am a fertile teacher, not this!

Swallowing my fears, I looked back at the class slowly and stood from my stool, walking to lean against the desk.  
“Um... Does anyone have any questions?” I squeaked out, getting a reply of everyone's hands flying in the air, waiting for me to chose them to ask a question.  
What could they possibly want to know?


	20. To Feel Warmth

I just need a hug. I need the feeling of someone to wrap their arms around me, to feel the warmth of their body close to mine. To know that everything is all right. I don't just want it. I need it. Everyone needs a hug sometimes. Everyone needs to know that they are loved.

Everyone does not need to know how I make love though, and so the answers to the horrendous sex questions being flung at me are brief to say the least.

A large, tan, blonde boy in the second row bellowed out his question, with complete disregard to the class with hands waiting in the air. “So, uh, you've had sex right?” nodding timidly, he smirked and asked another question, “I read... somewhere, that uh, y'know... fertiles like it rough and stuff...” figuring that, that was his question, I shuffled awkwardly on the chair, tugging my skirt to stay covering my thighs.  
“Uh, well... sometimes I guess.” I tried to answer briefly, not making eye-contact, and instead twisting the little loose thread on my skirt.  
Content with their answer, another boy lowered his hand, and called out from the back of the class, “Do male fertiles like you have big dicks? My dad told me that they're small because you don't do nothing but piss from it.” There was an uproar of laughter from the back of the class, and the largest dom sitting at the front of the class, turned in his seat, standing up and built his chest up.  
“Hey, Gabe, don't be such a fuck! You can't say that to a fertile! Christ, if your mom knew she would kick your ass!” Speechless, I watched as the dom turned back to me, and his expression softened at my abashed look. “Mr Iero, I am sorry about my classes behaviour, they are acting incredibly immature, and we are ashamed for treating you with less respect of what you deserve.”  
Shocked at his words, my mouth opened and closed several times, looking aghast. Unsure of what to reply with, I blushed and looked back down at my skirt, “Uh... don't worry about it. But uh, please, call me Frank.” Smiling I looked back up at the class, to see sudden aptitude within the group of young doms. “I don't mind about some questions, honestly. It's just... that was a bit personal, don't cha think? How'd you like it if I asked about your junk?” I giggled and was glad to see a sigh from the class as they relaxed at my words.

The following questions seemed more reasonable. Sure I got a few questions on different sexual positions, but I was also asked about my feelings when I was mated. It turns out not just fertiles, but also the majority of the doms in the room are nervous about meeting their mate and not being good enough for them. - I told them all not to worry at all about being mated, and that even when you don't know your mate before hand, like me, you will still know exactly what to do when you know who you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.  
I got some questions about female fertiles, and I had to be honest and tell the class that I had as much of an idea about boobs as they did, sure, I know what they are about – of course I do, I teach fertile 101! - but knowing about “how boobs feel when they jiggle,” is not my forte.  
Questions about sex toys, to how a fertile knows they are pregnant; It was pretty hard to explain how a fertile can't tell, and that instead its the fertiles mate which can tell if they are pregnant. The class was confused, and asked how a dom was meant to know. - “I am a fertile! I don't know how a dom can do that! Maybe you could ask Mr Jones, I think he has kids?” The class groaned in unison at the mention of their teacher, and I couldn't blame them.

Thinking about pregnancy I couldn't help but wonder if I had a little baby, and sub-consciously I began rubbing my lower stomach. I wonder if Gerard can tell if I am pregnant. What if he doesn't tell me?-

The bell rang bringing me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to the class leaving, “Thanks, Frank.”, “Goodbye, sir” the class called as they left the class and made their way into the cafeteria for lunch.

The rest of the day went by fast. Teaching another freshmen class about reproduction, and giving the same lecture about how they should call me 'Frank'.  
When four o'clock rolled around, school had been over for a while and I had just finished clearing up the class, and organising everything for tomorrow; when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist and a body press into my back.  
Smiling and tilting my head back, I nuzzled my forehead against a strong familiar neck, dark hair tickling my check, and rosy pink lips kissing my forehead.  
“Hey,” I smiled, breathing in a huge lungful of air saturated in Gerard's smell.  
“Hi,” Gerard replied, as I watched his lips curve into a smile. Turning me around in his arms I leaned forward on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around Gerard's neck and bringing his lips towards mine.  
I could feel his lips smile against my own, making the idea of kissing much harder, but much more enjoyable.  
“Hi,” Gerard said again when he pulled back, resting his forehead against my own. “How was your first day, sir?”  
Giggling, I lightly swatted Gerard's arm, “Don't call me sir, it makes me sound old... and naughty.” Gerard laughed and squeezed me tighter to him. “Today was really cool, I really like it here. I just miss you so much Gee,” pouting, Gerard grabbed my bottom lip with his thumb and laughed. “How did your interview go?” I asked, looking into Gerard's shinning hazel eyes, filled with nothing but love.  
“Yeah, I got the job.” Gerard smiled.  
“You got the job?” I sqeaked.  
Gee laughed and kissed me quickly on the lips. “Yes. I got the job, I start tomorrow!”

The whole car ride was Gerard explaining about his job. He would be based in an office not far from where the school is, and he would go on patrol with a partner around the town, ensuring safety to everyone. When there is an emergency, he could be called into action and may have to leave home for a few days. The werewolf protection agency was basically the werewolf equivalent to the human police force.

When they got back to the mansion, Gerard dropped Frank off at the front doors with a kiss, and then drove the car around to the garage.

Meanwhile, Frank started on cooking dinner for the two of them. Frank couldn't stop smiling, his life was turning out for the better. A few months ago I would have laughed at anyone if they had told me that I would have the man of my dreams, an extra loving pack and family, a stable career, and the makings of a family.

Gerard came into the kitchen, looking down-trodden from when I saw him about twenty minutes ago. As soon as he saw my questioning look, he shrugged his shoulders and smiled back at me. Trying to cover up.  
Not wanting to ruin the mood we were in a little while ago, I shook the memory off, and continued with stirring the pasta sauce on the hob, not wanting it to stick to the bottom of the pan.

Dinner seemed to lighten whatever had gotten Gerard down, and he was smiling genuinely at me as he twirled the pasta on his fork, and stroked his foot against mine under the table.  
“Wanna do something really cheesy?” Gerard asked, looking down into his pasta to hide his blush.  
Giggling, I stroked his cheek, and lifted his face to my level, “Sure, what do you have in mind?” Gerard blushed again, and made a quick look around the room to make sure no one was watching. Picking up one end of a string of spaghetti, he pulled it so that it was free of the tangle left in the bowl. With his other hand he put one end in my mouth, and the other in his. Smiling, in a completely innocent way, Gerards blush seemed permanent.  
Grinning back at him, I understood what he wanted, and began eating from my end of the spaghetti as he did the same. Meeting in the middle, our lips clashed. Tomato sauce smearing down our chins. Gerard giggled and leaned back from my lips, smiling in the most adorable way.  
“You're so cute Gee.” I smiled, wiping the sauce from his chin with my thumb.  
“I am not!” Gerard spoke, eyes going wide, “I am a dom, I am never cute!” Gerard said in mock shock, holding a hand to his chest as if offended.  
“Gee” I chocked out through my laughter, grabbing hold of the table, and closing my eyes against the tears, peeking back at the man I love to see him pulling the most outrageous faces, and causing me to cripple with tears of laughter again.  
After a while, an elderly couple nearby seemed to be getting annoyed at us, so we made our way to do the washing up.  
Gerard cleaned the dishes and pans and I dried them, putting them in their respectable places around the kitchen in various cabinets.  
After the dishes were all away, Gerard blew a handful of soap bubbles at me, squeaking as the suds caught in my hair. I teasingly ran away from Gerard, looking over my shoulder to see him following me, and laughing as he chased me out of the kitchen.

I ran out down, one of the various hallways, my socks sliding across the waxed wooden floors. Gerard caught up to me though, and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me down on the floor ontop of him. Our laughter bounced off the walls, and various people walked by, ignoring our behaviour.  
Leaning forward on Gerard's heaving chest, I planted a kiss on his lips. Wanting to deepen the moment but not being able to, due to my rapid breathing, - out of breath from running.

Smiling I looked down at Gerard and stroked his hair from his eyes, “I love you,” I smiled.  
“I love you too,” Gerard spoke, leaning up to kiss my lips.  
“I am tired. Come to bed with me?” I smiled down at him, standing up and offering him my hand.  
Smiling back at me, he took my hand, and didn't let go as he walked me down the corridor.  
Rounding a corner, we saw the playroom for the little babies and toddlers through the glass wall.  
Sighing, I placed my hand on the glass, and felt Gerard wrap his arms around my waist, placing his hands over my right arm resting on my lower stomach, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand in soothing circles, resting his head on my shoulder, and looking through the glass with me.  
“Just think Gerard! We could have a little baby soon, I might have a little baby right now,”-  
Gerard sighed cutting me off, “Frank-”.  
“Gee!, a new life could be growing inside me right now, and-” I breathed, feeling my stomach, and dreaming about a little baby in my arms.  
“Frank, I-” Gerard sighed.  
“What type of names are you thinking of? Not to posh! I hope, and maybe-” I was thinking of names simple, like Jack if it was a boy, or maybe something like Claire for a girl.  
“Frank, listen, please.” Gerard lifted his head from my shoulder and walked next to me, turning towards him, I kept my left hand on the glass wall, but was able to look at Gerard.  
He grabbed my right hand and held it in both of his hands. “Frank, I- I spoke to my dad earlier. He said, that if you were pregnant, I should be able to tell by now...” Gerard dropped his gaze from mine and looked down at my hand in his. “Frank, I am sorry. We'll try again next cycle, I promise.”  
“Oh,” I didn't know what to say. I wasn't pregnant. How can you be upset over something you never had? I feel so stupid. All this time. All this time, and I thought I had a little baby. “Oh...” I said again, letting my hand slip from the wall and from Gerard's grip. “Thats okay. Maybe I wasn't ready anyway.” I lied, turning to look down the corridor, and not make eye-contact with either Gerard or the baby room.  
“We should go to bed anyway, I am really tired.” My voice was nearly whispering now, not wanting it to break.  
“Frank,-” Gerard's voice sounded concerned.  
“No, it alright Gee, like you said, we can try again next time.” I began shuffling down the corridor, feeling Gerard walking to my side. He was holding my hand, but I couldn't feel it. I felt numb. Empty.

Walking up the stairs and to our room, we didn't share any words. Gerard unlocked the door and dropped our shoes to the left. Stripping off Gerard pulled back my side of the covers on the bed. “Would you like me to run you a bath?” Gerard asked, looking at me with saddness.  
“No, I think I just need to sleep right now, thanks though.” I tried to smile, but let whatever was there fall from my face as I made my way over to the wardrobe, grabbing my un-used so far pyjamas, and exchanging them for my clothes.  
Walking to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, slowly, afraid of looking at my reflection and taking in my disappointment.

Flicking the light off, I made my way into the bedroom, and crawled under the bedsheets. Turning my back to Gerard I stared at the darkness of the room, thinking about, thinking about nothing.  
Minutes seemed to fall by, and I turned over to face Gerard, “Gee,” I whispered in the dark. Gerard was still awake and his small, 'yeah' in the darkness, was all it took for me to start crying, “Gee, I need a hug.” and thats what I got.


	21. Someplace Inbetween

That place between sleep and awareness is the nicest feelings. Usually its warm, and cosy, and a stretch can make the feeling ten times better. But the place between awareness and falling asleep couldn't be any different. It seems to stretch on forever. It's restless, and I believe its where nightmares begin.

For hours Gerard clutched me to his chest, rubbing his hand on my back. Lulling me into a comforting hold. I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness, sleep finally catching up to me and trying to pull me into its darkness. All hope of falling asleep tonight was thrown away when Gerard jolted up in bed, causing my head to bounce off his chest onto the mattress.  
“Did you hear that?” Gerard whispered, his eyes shimmering in the steady stream of moonlight flowing through the bedroom window.  
“Hear what?” I whispered back frantically, sitting up and grabbing Gerards arm in my grasp. Straining my ears to try and pick up something, only hearing the silence of the room.  
“Frank. Something is wrong, I-” Gerard fell silent as the sound gunshots shook the room. “Frank, I need you to hide under the bed.” Gerard stood up from the bed and made his way to the door. Pressing his ear against the solid wood. “NOW, FRANK!” Gerard whisper-shouted back to me.  
Afraid, not of Gerard, but of whatever was happening, I did what he said; quickly crawling from the bed, onto the floor and under the bed.

Under the bed, I tried to get my erratic breathing under control. Concentrating on looking at Gerard's feet, I tried to calm myself. Gerard was fine, everything is fine. That didn't seem to stop the continuous thumping of blood in my ears, loud enough to block the sound of my breathing, but nowhere close to blocking the sound of screaming and running under the sharp gun-shots.

Silent tears where streaming down my face. I was scared and confused, and I wanted this to stop.  
“Frank, I need to go and help. Stay here, please. I love you.”The bedroom door was then open, and Gerard's feet then morphed into paws.

I was alone, and the slightly open door let more noise filter into the room, and allowed a stream of light from the hall stretch across the room and highlight me under the bed. I couldn't stay here. Not alone. Not like this.

Counting to ten, I crawled forward and out from under the bed. On shaking arms, I tried to lift myself up, but my legs wouldn't allow it.  
The sound of doors slamming open separated the roll of guns being fired, and the longer I stayed here, the louder it became.  
Willing all the strength into my legs, I pushed off from my hands, and stood, racing to the door, and slowly peering around the frame. At the end of the corridor, was a group of men, dressed in black with helmets on, and visors covering their faces. There must have been fifteen of them, roughly fifty meters away from me.  
“Stupid fertiles, always hiding under the beds, how fucking predictable!” A low voice rang out from the hallway, the end closest to the stairs.  
I had seen things like this happening in horror films. Werewolf hunters. Terrifying monsters. The worst kind of humans. Gerard and I watched a film only last week about them. They would sneak into a werewolf home murder the family infront of the dom. Gerard stroked my back through the film, telling me that it wasn't real. But seeing the advancing men, kicking down bedroom doors one by one, was very real.  
A door was kicked down, guns were fired. A door was kicked down, guns were fired. They were closer now, maybe forty meters away.

Panic-stricken, I flung myself back into the room, eyes darting everywhere in the near darkness, trying to look for anything to help me. 'Stupid fertiles, always hiding under the beds,' - don't hide under the bed, Frank! They are shooting the beds. They are shooting your family. Your scared family. They are hiding, and they are murdering them. Fertiles you see everyday, some you have come to know and love.  
Newly mated fertiles. This corridor is full of newly mated couples. Many of them are pregnant Frank. You pass these people everyday. Gerard sometimes helps the heavily pregnant fertiles down the stairs.  
Gerard, where is he, where are any of the doms? They should be here protecting us.

BANG, they were getting closer now, the doors hitting the walls were making the furniture in the room shake. The furniture!  
Running blindly to the side of the room, my fingertips grazed the cupboard, slowly opening the doors, I turned around stepping backwards into the gap, and closing the doors softly behind me.

Kneeling down in the dark, soft material brushed against my face. Gerard's shirts. They smelt like Gerard, and so pulling the material close to me, I hid my face in the material and tried to soften my breathing, it would give me away for sure.

BANG! They should be next door now, I could hear them through the thick wall as they pulled the triggers, releasing a deafening rattle.  
My body shaking in fear stilled as soon as my own bedroom door was flung open.  
BANG!! - My breathing stopped, and my hold on one of Gerard's shirts felt strong enough to cause it to rip and give my location away.  
No time was waisted before the strum of bullets fired through the room. I clenched my eyes together tighter, unwilling to think that I was under the bed moments before.  
The sound of boots moving across floorboards caused my whole body to clench and shiver, my eyes unintentionally blinking open and looking up into the darkness.

My life had practically just started, Gerard and I talked about trying again for a baby. We had just got jobs, and my old and new family were soon to move together. I wasn't ready to die yet, I wanted to have grey hair, and be surrounded by grandchildren. I wanted to die peacefully in bed when I was old and happy that I had done everything life had to offer.  
I wasn't ready to die now, in a wardrobe, scared and alone, sitting in a puddle of my own piss. I didn't want to be found like this, didn't want Gerard to know I died like this.

The footsteps moved around the room, scuffing things in its path. “Search!” a voice called, as the majority of the footsteps left the room.

BANG! The room next door followed in sequence, and the sound of guns rang load and clear.

I sighed in relief, but it was too soon. It was too late to register the sound of footsteps beating across the floor, the sound of the bathroom door opening and being checked. The scuffle of knees on the carpet as I imagined a man in black uniform searching under the bed for a body and there not being one.  
“Bathroom?” A voice called  
“Clear.”  
“Bed?” The gruff voice asked again. In my mind I could imagine a black uniformed man with a clipboard, standing in the door frame. - Hard to imagine with the gunshots, moving further down the corridor.  
“Clear”  
“Cupboard?” My breath hitched, as the sound of the heavy boots stopped in front of the thin doors I hid behind.


	22. Desperation

I am not really one for sappy stories, but the Titanic film does something for me. Its not really a love story at all. It's not a romance, or a horror. Its just a film. A film of life. A film of desperation. My favourite scene is where Rose is drifting on a door, amongst the dead bodies floating in the icy water. Its so cold and so quiet. She thinks thats it for her. I would too in her situation.  
Out of nowhere she sees a small boat coming back through the water searching for anyone that was still alive. I have watched that film several times, and yet every time when the boat passes by her, oblivious, I feel at the edge of my seat. Why doesn't she just shout for help? The further the boat gets away, the further her chances are slipping away. But then she calls for help, and you think that everything is going to get better. But no one could hear her asking for help.  
Its a miracle they found her.

The sound of thick heavy boots reverberated throughout the room, muffled by the clothes shielding me in the cupboard. Clothes which would do nothing against a silver bullet.

Clenching my eyes shut, and crushing one of Gerard's shirts to my face, I tried my hardest to block out the sound. Not wanting to hear the creak of the door when the moment would come.

Death was creeping closer, it was lingering in the air, like a thick cloud, clogging and choking anyone aware of its imminent presence. Death was coming for someone and I could only pray that it wasn't coming for me.  
BANG! The gunshot was fired. My whole body was tense.

Moments seemed to pass. I felt fine. Surely I should feel pain. Was I already dead? Was this what it felt like to be dead? It didn't hurt at all, and it smelt of Gerard here.  
Opening my eyes, I could still see a familiar line of light through the gap in the cupboard door, and could still feel the soft fabric clutched in my hands.  
BANG! Only seconds after the first gunshot, the second sounded much closer, a ringing filing behind the noise, slowly revealing two voices. Two familiar voices.  
“Frank?” Someone whispered, a loud male voice.  
In a smaller voice, someone repeated the call with a whimper, “Frank!” Lighter footsteps than before came closer to where I was sat.

The doors to the cupboard flew open, and instead of looking into the eyes of what I imagined to be my killer, stood Donald, ushering a whimpering Mikey under his arm. The dom constantly looking over his shoulder, and back at me crouched in the corner of the cupboard.  
Adjusting my eyes from the darkness to the mild light in the room, I could see a clunky black gun in Donalds right hand, and Mikeys quivering shoulder in his left hand, as he helped him sit in the other corner of the cupboard.  
“Everything is going to be okay boys, I promise. Wait here, don't go anywhere. I love you boys.” He then leant forward, clutching my cheek, and kissing my forehead. Then repeating the action to Mikey.  
As Donald leant forward toward Mikey, I could see the shadows of two dead bodies on the floor, sure enough they were the two men which had been seconds away from killing me moments before.  
“Look after each other,” Donald spoke before Placing the gun between us and slowly closing the doors back, leaving the two of us now in the darkness.

Neither of us spoke, as we heard the sound of thumping feet getting closer to the room; as we heard the sound of shouting; the sound of shredding clothes mixed with growling.  
Eyes wide in the darkness, my hand found its way into Mikeys, as we clutched at each other, not even whimpering as we heard the sound of curdling screams; of bodies thumping to the floor causing the cupboard to rattle back against the wall.  
We sat as still as statues as we heard the screams and cries behind the racket of continuous gunfire.  
Howls ripped through the room, and we had no doubt that it was Donald fighting the monsters away. We had no doubt that Donald was losing the battle when the whimpers were fading until a final gunshot silenced them completely.

As quickly as they has appeared, they left.  
Running footsteps seemed to fade into the distant rattle of shouts and bangs echoing from another part of the house.  
Howls continued to sing throughout the house, but beside Mikey's and my own breathing was silence in this part of the house.

Remembering what Donald told us, we waited where we were. We waited in that closet like he told us to. We looked after each other like he told us. Clutching each others hand, we knew that we were safe, Donald made sure that we were safe here. He loved us, he protected us. Everything is going to be fine, he promised. He promised.

Hours must have passed because when the final sounds of gunfire rang; and after enduring countless moments of a ringing in my ears, the silence was finally broken.  
Birdsong from outside marked the beginning of a new day. After what had happened during the night, I was shocked hearing natures voice, the sing-song of birds continuing with their lives, oblivious to the utter chaos which wreaked havoc amongst my family.

But with a new day comes, the sun. The most reliable thing to the world. It brings the new day, and sure enough, it will bring new days long after your time. It continues warming the earth and bringing life, regardless.  
The room lightened, and therefore, the depths of the cupboard we sat in, lightened to a degree; And yet neither Mikey or myself could bring ourselves to say anything or to face looking at one another, and so we continued to spy at each other from the corners of our eyes, leaving our heads facing the cupboard doors, unable to shake away our imaginations of what we feared lay behind those doors.

Long after the bird-song had finished we heard the first sounds of life, other than the nature in the woods outside.  
We heard crying, and shuffling as people talked to each other, making their way back to their rooms, rooms which resembled anything but what they remembered from the day before.

Gerard. Gerard was coming to get me, he was coming to find me. He was fine. Of course he was fine, he was Gerard. He was coming to find me soon. I know he will.  
And yet still I had the image of Gerard lying in a pool of his blood. Cold now of course. It had been a long night, and he would be one of many deaths.  
I would be waiting here until he found us. He was fine, he was probably looking for me right now. Worried probably.  
Of course Gerard was fine. What was I thinking?

One out of the many footsteps which passed in the corridor, turned as we heard it walk across the bedroom. “Mikey?” A voice called, causing Mikey's hand to twitch in my own.  
My breathing picked up as I recognised the voice. Was that Gerard?  
“Mikey? Are you in here?” It called again, before we heard a sigh, and the footsteps fall further away.  
“Yeah!” Mikey squeaked out in a whisper, too quiet for anyone but me to hear, and the footsteps were nearly back in the corridor now, “Yeah, I am here!” Mikey said, again, a little louder, and clutching tighter to my hand. “I am here!” Mikey said in frantic desperation. We needed to be found, “Here! Help!” Mikey tried, barely raising his voice to a small shout. But it was enough.  
They heard him, and whoever was out there ran over to the cupboard and opened the door. They had found us.


	23. Scattered Pieces

Have you ever felt so out of place that you have no where to go, even thinking is out of place. So all you can do is stand staring, trying your hardest not to think, feeling your soul drain, and clog the further it seeps down your being until you are standing in a puddle of your former self, a blank canvass. But no, you have thought again, thinking of yourself as a blank canvass associates yourself to something, you are not numb any more. Not hollow, anything but. Now all of your negativity is pulled up from the puddle and delves straight to your core. “Blank canvass” Huh, hardly, you are a wreck, full of imperfections and doubts and worries, and you can't even stay numb. Your body asks for one thing. One thing – to stay void of everything for just a little while. Just enough time to escape from the loneliness of not belonging, and now its ten times worse. You are alone, and you are nothing but the darkest parts of your mind. Everything that was ever good about you is a weeping puddle at your feet, and it has no where to go but seep further away from you.

As soon as the cupboard doors flew over to reveal Bob, Mikey launched himself from the cupboard, flinging his arms around Bob's shoulders, and began crying in the crook of his neck, leaving his feet to dangle from the floor.  
The couple were oblivious to me as I stood on shaking legs, grasping the cupboard door to avoid touching either of them. I scooted around them, trying to get away from the memories which saturated the small space of the closet. Shaking my head I tried to rid myself of the re-occurring images which flashed before my eyes, the sound bubbling up from a memory and suffocating me. No. It was too loud, it was tearing at me.  
Slamming my eyes closed, I grabbed either side of my head trying to block everything out. No. I don't like it. Please shut up.

My breathing became erratic, and the air in the room felt thin. Get out. I need to get out of here. I can't breathe in here.  
With my eyes still closed, I lurched forward into a run, only to trip over a large bulk on the floor. Falling I landed on my chest, my chin jolting against the floor, as I struggled to breathe from the air knocked out of my chest. Feeling the sides of my torso, my face contorted as I let tiny sips of air into my shocked lungs. I rolled myself over onto my back, only to twist my legs off of whatever had caused me to fall onto the ground.  
“Frank! Are you okay?” I could see Bob, shock covering his face, as he hastily began walking over to me, dragging a hysterical Mikey behind.  
“Da-ad?” Mikey sobbed, “DAD!” Mikey screamed, moving around Bob and kneeling on the floor. Blinking away the tears from my eyes, 'the bulk' on the floor became distinguishable as Donald. Between Mikey and myself, Donald lay naked on his back, eyes wide and starring, blank and unfocused.  
“Daddy?” Mikey whispered, stroking Donalds bangs.  
Looking away from his face, I looked down at Donalds chest, scarred and bruised, with a distinct bullet wound in the centre of his chest where his heart would lie.  
Bob placed a sheet over Donalds body, and folded it back from his face, and then kneeled behind Mikey, stroking his shoulders, and allowing his mate to grieve. Mikey was crying, clutching Donalds face it his hands, scrapping away at the blood which had dried around his mouth.

Was Gerard lying like this somewhere in the house? It was unthinkable to me. No. Gerard would be fine, but the image of his lifeless body riddled with bloody holes was still at the forefront of my mind.  
There was still a lingering pain in my chest from winding my chest, but as I brought my hand up and rubbed at my chest bone, I knew it was nothing physical, and that I was heartbroken. I never thought it was possible to have this feeling, I always thought it was just a myth. An old wives-tale told, but no; I had a pain in my chest from where my heart lies, and thinking of Gerard brought it here.

I needed to stop thinking. Please stop thinking. Looking at Donald infront of me, I could see the similarities between him and Gerard. Gerard had a softer, rounder face, much like Donna; but fast-forward 20 years, and the two could be identical. Donalds face morphed into Gerard, it was Gerard's body infront of me dead on the floor. Slamming my eyes closed, and gripping the pain in my chest, I tried to block out the imaging of my cruel masochistic imagination.

Thump-thump-thump. My heart broke out though my chest, beating a mile per minute as I tried to shake the image of Gerard from my mind.  
Thump-thump-thump. Footsteps, raging loud and clear down the corridor. “Frank?!” How could I doubt myself? Gerard was fine, Gerard was coming to get me, “Frank!” Gerard's voice called again, louder this time, accompanying the voice with the footsteps, I could imagine Gerard running down the corridor right now to find me; extinguishing the last mental image of him dead on the floor.  
“Frank?” Gerard spoke, frozen in the doorway to the room as his eyes scanned from the bed – the place he told me to wait, where he said would be safe; now riddled with bullet holes; to the open cupboard; to a distressed Mikey; to a lifeless body covered on the floor with only a sheet. His father.  
Finally his eyes crept up to me, and my heart flew; he was safe, we were safe. Trying to stand from the floor, and tripping over my own clumsiness, I steadied myself before Gerard and I ran at each other the short distance, only managing to spring forward a step each and then we were in each others arms.

Clinging to each other, the embrace was strong enough for anyone to think we hadn't seen each other in years. “Frank! Frankie, are you okay, are you hurt.” Crying I lifted my head from the crook of his neck and shook it, before placing a gentle kiss on Gerard's cheek.  
“Frank, is he-, is my dad,” Gerard let out a shaky sigh, not letting go of me, but looking over my head toward Donald on the floor, with his brother and his friend, he struggled to say what he needed, “Is my dad...”  
Moving one hand from Gerard's shoulder, and sliding it down his arm to his hand, I laced my fingers with his, shaking my head and looking at the ground.  
“Oh,” Gerard spoke, his eyebrow twitching, as his eyes glazed over. Moving to his side, and not letting go of his hand, I pulled Gerard over to where his father lay on the floor. Knowing that this is what Gerard needs right now.  
“He was protecting me and Frank, Gerard. He saved us.” Mikey spoke, looking up to his older brother, for the first time letting his eye wander away from Donald.  
“I should have been the one to save you. It's all my fault, I should have-” Gripping Gerard's hand holder, and shaking my head, Mikey spoke again.  
“No Gerard. It's not your fault. It was those werewolf hunters,” his voice shivered, “It's not your fault Gee. Frank would be without you now, if it had been you here instead.”  
Gerard looked over to me, and his eyes blinked, finally letting a few tears slip. With my thumb, I whipped them away, and he looked from my face, to look over my body, making sure that I was safe. No doubt, he imagined me dead just like I had done him. His eyes paused over my lap, and I looked down to notice the still damp area in my pyjamas from when I had weed myself. Immense shame washed over me. No one else had done anything humiliating, and degrading, I am an embarrassment toward myself.  
Covering my lower half as best I could with one arm, I kept my head down.  
“I am so, so sorry you felt such fear Frankie. Nothing like this will ever happen again, I will stay and look after you, always.” Gerard spoke, lifting my chin with his fingertips and placing a light kiss on my lips.  
“Does mom know yet?” Gerard asked toward his brother, to which he shook his head. “Well, we should probably tell her before she finds him like this. Ray told me she was in her room. She is fine. The hunters didn't get up to that floor.” Donna. She will be a wreck. Donald meant everything to her. They both meant the world to each other.  
Mikey leaned down and kissed Donalds cheek, then stood up with Bob. Gerard sniffed, and repeated Mikeys actions to Donalds other cheek. Pulling the sheet over his face, and then slowly pulling me to stand up with him, an arm around my shoulder, turning my body at an angle to face him.

“I think I should put a shirt on first,” Gerard sniffed, walking over to the cupboard. Reluctant to go toward that piece of furniture, but reluctant to stand by myself, I followed behind Gerard. Watching as he pulled off one of his shirts, pulling it on over his head, before he opened a draw in the dresser next to the cupboard, pulling out a pair or trousers and a spare pair of my briefs.  
Smiling at me, Gerard handed me my things at the bathroom door so that I could change. Gerard closed the door fractionally, so that he could still see me, but so I was out of view from Bob.

The walk along the corridor was tense. Bodies of men in black uniform lay scattered, as doms began moving them, either to the side of the corridor to let people pass, or, they began picking them up and taking them downstairs.  
We passed more people than I expected, and for that I was glad. Nearing the staircase, I made the mistake of looking into one of the first bedrooms on the corridor. It only took a quick glance for the horrific image to be burned in my retina.  
Gerard pulled me along up the staircase, but I was blind to my surroundings. All that I could focus on was what I had seen in that room.- Blood was painting the walls, a rich red in stark contrast to the white paint. Lying in bed had been a young couple, perhaps early twenties. Both of them holding onto each other, even in death. Even as blood coated both of them. They never had the warning of gunshots to awaken them. They must've had a surprise attack, the first, unknowing victims. A bloody massacre. Werewolf hunters shooting innocent, sleeping, people.  
Humanity, it was a word created many years ago, and now it meant nothing, its meaning never represented these “humans”, they were not worthy to even be known as “humans”, they were monsters.

Two floors up, we walked down the right hand side corridor, and soon stopped at a a highly decorated door, one of many on this floor.  
Bob knocked gently against the wood, and spoke in a calming voice, “Donna? Its me Bob, can we come in please?” We waited in relative silence as the door slowly opened.  
“Mommy!” Mikey sobbed, launching himself into Donna's hug. She shh'd him, and stroked his back, looking at the rest of us to try and figure out why we were here and probably why Donald wasn't.  
“Mom,” Gerard tried to speak, his voice breaking on the simple word.  
“Oh, Honey, come here baby!” Donna spoke, lifting an arm from around Mikey so that she could welcome Gerard as well.  
Looking at the scene infront of me, Donna held her two adult children, as all three of them cried together. I would bet that Donna had figured it out.

Bob, moved closer to me and rested his hand on my shoulder; and like that, we all stood, the shock from last night still leaving us all emotional, and the recent death of a loved one, left us broken, and unknowing of how to cope.  
Donald was a father to each of us, just like Donna is a mother to us.


	24. Realization

Sometimes a realisation isn't dramatic, and life changing. It isn't like an epiphany, and sometimes it doesn't come out of nowhere. A realisation might dawn on you, it might creep up on you, and it will make sense. Its as if you had known all along, and you never even looked before your eyes.

The following days after the raid were full of grief. Together, Gerard and Mikey helped their mother organise the funeral. Elena and Matthew not only had to come to terms with the loss of one of their sons, but also the loss of many others in their pack, and were caught up in organising, funerals, clean ups, and relocations within the mansion.  
Gerard began giving me concerned looks, creating a great deal of confusion, the reason behind his concern was answered when on the morning of Donalds funeral, three days after the raid; Gerard sat me down in one of the mansions lounges.

“Frank. I...” Gerard sighed, sitting next to me on the couch, and holding my hands in his. “Frank, I am worried about you. I didn't want to say anything, or rush you. You need to take your time, and its normal after stress.” Gerard stroked his thumbs in circles on my hands, taking in a big breath, “Frank, I... You haven't said a word to me. Fuck! To anyone. It's been days and I am worried Frankie.”  
I didn't know how to react. I didn't notice I hadn't been speaking, but now it finally dawned on me that I hadn't said a word. I hadn't said anything to Gerard to convince him I was safe. I had done nothing to help console Gerard over his fathers death.  
“I don't know what to do any more! I have spoken to a doctor, and he thinks you will speak when you're ready. I just miss you Frank.” Gerard cried, his silent tears, turning into sobs as he clutched at my hands.  
He looked to afraid, so small and vulnerable in that moment, that the best I could do, was lean forwards, and wrap my arms around Gerard, guiding his head to my chest and stroking his hair as his fists griped onto crisp white shirt.

I tried to speak, to help him, to tell Gerard that I loved him and that everything was going to be allright. I wanted to let Gerard know that Donald would be so proud of Gerard for being so strong and looking after Donna and Mikey; but I couldn't and that broke my heart.


	25. Again

We all know how funerals work. Someone is lowered into the ground and people cry. That's it. Sure you could go into great detail of the event, you could draw out all of the emotions of everyone affected. Have you ever seen the pile of mud next to the open grave though? Because that is fucking eye-opening. I don't know why really. It's just mud. You see headstones and flowers all the time, you see mourning people gathered. But the mud and dirt really fascinates me somehow. It just seems to make everything real somehow. That dirt is going to cover someone up. Bury them. What you can see on the surface of the ground right now, will soon be undercover. It's just mud. Mud is everywhere. Why is this mud so different.

There were many funerals today. People were heartbroken emotions pooling out of Everyone, as funeral after funeral was attended. Donalds funeral only had a handful of people attending. The ceremony seemed forced, everyone was tired, and tonight's full moon gave everyone a nervous tickle.

I stood with my arms wrapped around Gerard's right arm, while his mother was under his other arm. Mikey stood in-between Donna and Bob, and all five of us stood at the side of the grave. Matthew and Elena, stood near the head of the grave, speaking to the crowd gathered to pay their respects.  
As Alpha male, this was the fourth funeral of the day Matthew had to attend, and it was only nine o'clock in the morning. But due to superstition, all of the werewolf deceased must be buried before the next full moon, and so now the rush was on. No one wanted to wait around to see if the superstitions were true.

The generic words were spoken, the prayers were said. Tears were shed, and before long it was over. Donald was lowered into the mud, the dirt. We said our goodbyes, and then he was nothing but a memory.

We leaned on each other, making our way back to the mansion from the west side of the grounds.  
Donna led us into one of the many ground floor lounges, a rustling fire already bubbling and crackling behind the iron fire-gate.

We all made ourselves comfortable on the couches, snuggling up to one another, Gerard having one arm wrap around Donna and myself.  
“Gerard?” Donna croaked out, breaking the silence, yet, still keeping her firm glare at the twisting flames of the fire.  
“Hmm?” Gerard replied, nodding his head, also watching the flames.  
“Gerard. You're not ready for this responsibility yet. Donald still had so much to teach you. You're grandfather, Matthew, he... he still had so much to teach your dad, and now...” Donna's voice quavered off, her gaze slipping from the flames to the burning ashes.

“Mom. What are you talking about?” Gerard looked to his mother, his chest twisting, causing my head to lift from his shoulder.  
“Gerard,” Donna sighed, looking me in the eyes, “You're the next in line to becoming Alpha... and you're just not ready for that yet. Matthew, he, he...” Donna broke into sobs and gripped Gerard's shirt in her hands.  
“Shh, Mom, calm down okay.” Gerard soothed, stroking her back. Mikey was looking over from where he was currently sat on the opposite couch, and he looked concerned for his mother.  
“Gerard. Matthew doesn't have long left, he, he told me and your father a few weeks ago that he only has a few full moons left. Then all of this mess has just blew up in our faces. Matthew is getting so weak, Gerard.” Donna chocked between sobs, and tickling coughs.  
Gerard was fighting back tears now. “Mom, don't say things like that, Grandpa is going to be fine. We're going to be fine. I'll figure something out, don't worry, okay? Now, how about we all get some sleep before tonight, yeah? You're exhausted, we all are.” Gerard smiled as he helped both myself and Donna up from the couch, helping us walk to the staircase.

Ever since the raid, Gerard and I, as well as many of the other werewolves, have relocated to the second floor, or the floors above that. Both Gerard and I couldn't bare sleep in the same room that Donald had died in, the memories were too fresh. Therefore, we now had a room on the same floor as Donna, only a few rooms apart. It made Donna feel a lot safer knowing that she was so close to us, and I think it put Gerard's mind at rest from worrying about her being alone all the time.

Stripping from our suits, Gerard wrapped me up in some fluffy winter pyjamas and led me to the bed, tucking the duvet around me securely before he crawled under the covers on his side of the bed, wiggling closer to me and wrapping his bare arms around my torso.  
Kissing my lips, he smiled, “I love you Frankie,”.  
Wanting to say something back so badly, I opened my mouth only to have my lips quiver, and my throat close up. Gerard saw me struggling to speak, and he placed his index finger over my lips. “Shh, I know Frankie. Go to sleep.”

Sleep was easier said than done, I spent hours, lying in Gerard's arms, my mind beating me up over how pathetic I am. I was the worst mate. What kind of mate can't even say 'I love you'.

“NO!” I shouted again as the man with the gun advanced further towards me. “NO! GO AWAY!” I screamed, my throat shaking, and splitting in pain as I screamed. The hunter was getting closer and closer to me, laughing.  
His laughter caused a twist in my stomach. He was evil. This an was pure evil.  
“GERARD!” I screamed, “GERARD HELP ME PLEASE!”  
He pulled the trigger, the gun between my eyes, and everything went black.

Sitting up in the bed, knocking Gerard's hold from around me, My face twisted as I fisted at my chest. My eyes tried hard at focusing away from the man with the gun, and to the dimly lit room I had fallen to sleep in not that long ago.  
It didn't take me long to realise the fact that I was screaming silence. My mouth was wide, my throat burned, as it had done in the dream, and yet it was silent in the room from any scream, any noise. I was mute, only the frantic pants I made, gave me confidence that I was still alive, made me realise that this was not a dream.

Gerard reacted to my sudden panic, awakening from his sleep, and sitting up next to me on the bed. “Frank! Frankie, what's the matter, are you okay?” Gerard frantically looked around the room, only to come up blank, glancing at my tears and coming to the conclusion himself. “Shh, Frankie, everything is okay. It was just a nightmare. I will never let anything bad happen to you again. I've got you. I've got you.” Gerard shh'd, kneeling on the bed, and wrapping his arms around me, clutching my head in his embrace and stroking my hair away.

We sat like that until I had relatively calmed down. Then without realising how much time had passed, we took note that we needed to get ready and dressed for tonight's full moon.  
“Frank. I know we talked about trying again for a baby before, but with everything that's happened, do you still want to try, I mean. I won't mind whatever you want to do.” Gerard asked looking at me.  
Was it too soon after everything that had happened? I still wanted a baby, was it wrong of me to feel like this after such a bombshell had been dropped on my pack, my family. Was it wrong of me to feel like this.  
“I am still willing to give it a go if you are Frank. I love you.” Gerard whispered, his voice so close that his breath fanned across my cheeks. I nodded my head, in hopes Gerard understood that I still wanted to try. And that must have been what he was hoping for, because the largest smile I have seen in days spread across his face, and he couldn't stop himself from leaning forward and kissing my forehead, with so much pressure that I felt tingles in my stomach.


	26. Selfish Silence

I always thought that I give more than I take. But I am so fucking selfish. Everyone fucking thinks that. Everyone thinks the light shines out of their own fucking ass. I used to think that too. Not anymore. It just takes one moment, one tiny event in your life, for you to realise that you are the most selfish soul sucking monster to ever walk the earth. You only take, and if you give, its because you can take something for yourself in return.

Two days had passed since the full moon. It was different to any other pack meeting I have attended. There were no prancing cubs, instead, the little balls of fluff nestled themselves between their parents legs, making themselves apart of the circle which held the alpha at the head. The two groups of dom and fertile wolves which are yet to be mated were also invited to join the circle, and so the pack meeting had the feel of a family meeting. It wasn't a meeting about business, and duties, it was simple a night for remembering those which couldn't be there themselves.

The day following the full moon, was slow to start, it was lazy, but it felt as if things were getting back on track to how things were before the raid. People seemed like they were coping, and those who weren't, were simply hidden away.

Last night was also the first night in which I didn't have a nightmare, I woke up with the feel of Gerard running his fingers softly through my hair. Gerard's soft humming brought me awake, and through the haziness of sleep I could hear him humming softly, a little tune, sweet and warm, and inviting me back to consciousness.

“Hey,” Gerard croaked out in a whisper, “Sleep well?” He smiled, he looked hopeful; but as I opened my mouth to reply, I could feel a lump rising in my throat. No, I couldn't answer, I haven't been able to answer anyone since the raid, and it was killing me inside to see the pain in Gerard's eyes from not answering him.

Just as Gerard, looked down in disappointment, I pounced. Ripping the quilt off of myself, Gerard, and the bed, I knelt quickly on the mattress, before slamming my body down diagonally across Gerard's chest, so that my mouth could reach his lips, capturing the small 'unf' as it left his lips.

Trailing my tongue across Gerard's bottom lip, I began sucking, and kneading it between my lips, as I swung my lower body down to match up with Gerards, Rocking my hips down into Gerard's crotch, trying to rub my leaking hard on against the friction of my pyjama pants and his boxer shorts.

“Uhm, Frank, wait!” Gerard mumbled as best he could with his trapped bottom lip. His hands came up and tried to push my shoulders back, turning his head away from me. “Frank, listen... we need to, gah!” Gerard rambled, losing his hold on my shoulders as I wriggled down his chest, scraping my fingernails in to his arching chest, and trailing my tongue in swirls, until my face was under his belly button.

Pulling Gerard's boxers off was hard, seeing as he was no help at all. Not even a lift of hips. Then finally I shimmied them down just enough , the material of the shorts, coving half of his balls.

With my right hand, I began stroking at Gerard's cock, trying to pump him up. Obviously I woke up more in the mood than Gerard, and so it would take a little work. My left hand was rubbing circles over Gerard's hip, scraping my fingernails every now and then. My head fell forward, licking and sucking where Gerard's ball meet his dick, rubbing my nose into the curly hair and breathing in the musky scent.

“Frankie, we need to, ugh!-” Gerard was getting there now, his dick standing up from his body. “Frank, we need to talk about- I didn't mean, that, I meant, I- we, talking, I-” Gerard was beginning to ramble, and so I attached my lips to Gerards inner thigh, and bit down in a sharp action, causing him to stutter in his nonsense talk.

Still pumping Gerard tight, I let my left hand squeeze between my chest and the mattress, squirming my hand beneath my pyjama pants, to grip myself tight, and pump us both in synch. Gasping against Gerard's thigh, I wriggled around to get comfy, before bringing Gerard's hard member down to meet my lips, continuing to pump at his base, I moved my head down while swallowing.

Gerard finally gave in, and wrapped his fingers through my hair, guiding me down, as I licked and swirled around the tip every time I came up to the tip.

“Ugh, fuck. Your mouth is so sweet Frankie, so fucking good, you look so good,” Gerard moaned out, head tilting back against the pillows with his back arching up off the bed, “Frankie, oh god, I am gonna, I can't,” With the warning, Frank sat up, seizing any movement, watching Gerard's face morph from pure pleasure to confusion.

Now without either of us saying a word, I crawled up the bed, to rest my head on the pillow, to turn and fuck Gerard with just my eyes, hoping he knew what I wanted.  
And I guess he did know what I wanted, as after only a few seconds, he was between my legs, pulling my pyjama pants down to just reveal my ass, as he hooked both of my legs around his waist, the crotch of my pants covering his chest.

Gripping one of my hips tightly, he positioned himself before slowly pushing in, his face contorting in pleasure as a long moan escaped his lips.

It didn't take long before a face pace built up, and Gerard was coming inside of me, crying out my name as I came all over my pyjama top, wanting to scream out in pleasure, but only managing to let out air.

Gerard began to whimper as his thrusts became sensitive, and then he pulled out, pulling my pants back on me, kissing my cheek and then standing up from the bed and walking toward the bathroom, while pulling his boxers up from his knees.

Tears silently fell from my cheeks, this was the first time Gerard didn't lay next to me after making love, he didn't even say anything to me.


	27. Strength in a Powerless Spiral

You are just one person. You go through life achieving minuscule tasks, only briefly crossing paths with people around you. But I guess at some point in life you get tied to another person. You both become the same person, maybe only for a short period of time. But for that time, you think, live, and breath, just to keep the other alive. You can keep them alive, but alive isn't a synonym for happy. Fuck no. To be happy is to feel truly alive.

I must have been sitting on the bed for roughly ten minutes before I got the confidence to swing the covers off of my body, to go and see Gerard; but just as I was sitting up in bed, the bathroom door swung open slowly.

Gerard made his way over to the bed, keeping his head low, hiding his face behind his hair. Shifting backwards, I rested my back on the pillows, allowing Gerard room to sit by my feet.  
Gerard slowly lowered himself to sit on the bed, and after several minutes he rested his hand closest to me on my shin.

With a heavy sigh, Gerard lifted his head up; his eyes were rimmed in red, his cheeks were glistening, and the look of utter lost hope was so clear when he stared into my eyes, that I felt a rift of guilt rip through me. His voice was chocked and raspy from crying as he tried to speak, his hand grasping my leg as if to reassure me, “Frank. I don't know what to do any more. I feel so alone,” He stuttered, wiping his fresh wave of tears with his spare hand, “This is all my fault Frank. I should have stayed to protect you, if I had just stayed in the room with you, I-” blinking away his tears Gerard grasped at a new lung-full of air. “If I had just stayed, I could have protected you, my dad, he, he would still be here. I could have helped him. I could have helped you!”

Gerard's face morphed into anger, self anger directed at himself, but his burning eyes were still focused on me, shredding me apart inside, incapable of trying to say anything to make this better for him.

“He would still be here, he would not leave my mother a widow, he would teach me to become alpha, he would be able to see Mikeys kids...” He looked at me, as if he had said something he shouldn't have, “Mikey, he... he told me not to tell you, but its not like you're going to tell anyone now,” Gerard laughed without humour, shaking his head. His voice turning back to a menacing pounding, “I spoke to him yesterday, he has only told me... and Bob of course. They're aren't sure if they should tell mom yet. If its too soon. He didn't want you to know yet either, he wants you to try and get better, he wants you to be normal again Frank. He wants his friend back, I want my best friend back.

“I think its best if we concentrate on you getting better Frank. No distractions; and thats why I think you're not ready for a baby yet Frank.” Gerards voice broke and he looked away from my eyes, looking at the floor. “It's not a stable situation for us to bring anyone into the world yet. I couldn't do that to our child Frankie, I couldn't have a child not know their mothers voice. To not have their mother tell them he loves them, or for them to muse over what your beautiful laugh sounds like.

“Thats why I've organised an appointment for you with the doctor. This afternoon.” Gerard looked back from the floor, “I-I need to go out for a run for awhile. Clear my head.” leaning forward to press a kiss to my cheek, he sighed, moving my hair in the waves of his breath, “I love you Frankie.”

The bed creaked from his departure, and minutes later howling was heard from the woods outside.

I was the one doing this to Gerard, I was the one hurting him. I was the one destroying him, I was so powerful, yet at the same time, I have never felt as helpless.


	28. A Small Step In The Right Direction

Sometimes you just need a little push. A little shove in the right direction. Or simply someone behind you to encourage you; to tell you that you are loved, and no matter what decisions you make or whichever route you take in life, I will stand behind you and support you, because I love you no matter what, and I will love you no matter who you become.

My chest was heavy and my movements slow, and without even knowing what my actions were leading to, I was dressed, the bed was made and I had arranged jeans and a top out on the bed.

Leaving the bedroom door slightly ajar, I sat on the bed, my hands clasped and I waited. I sat watching the door, watching the shadows as they passed beyond the door, heard the sounds of couples and children walk back and forth in the corridor.  
For hours I sat, with nothing to do but think, and thinking was doing nothing to help the bleakness of my mind, not of boredom, but with the lack of my personality. I was just a shell now, just an empty shell which clung to the only feelings I could remember. Love and pain. But aren't they just the same feelings? Can't have one without the other, but when you feel pain for the person you love, its as if your whole head throbs.

Hours passed, the howling in the woods turning to whimpering, and I am sure the whole pack could hear Gerards crying. It was if he didn't care any more either. He must feel so lost. So alone. With no father to guide him, and a poor excuse for a mate which won't talk to him, who can't console him. I can't help but worry that Gerard is blaming himself for this, for dragging me into his life, and then for forcing his mistakes on me.

The creak of the bedroom door brought my eyes back into focus, and the black wolf I have come to love sulked into the room, his head hung between his shoulders as if simply walking was bringing him pain.

I didn't move from where I was sat on the bed, my eyes only moving as they followed the mess of black fur creep across the room and into the bathroom. Only when he was out of my view, I stood on shaky legs and shuffled to the bedroom door, pushing it softly until it shut, and then shuffle again back over to the bed, but to sit facing the bathroom this time. Sitting down softly next to the clothes laid out for Gerard.

Gerard didn't take long in the bathroom, and when he emerged, steam billowed around him as he made his way over to the bed, picking up each item of clothes in turn. Once he was fully dressed, he held his hand to me, pulling me from the bed, and together we walked from the room without mentioning anything.

Gerard drove round the back of the local hospital and parked one of the packs many cars in a suitable place. He held my hand as we made our way over to the buildings near the back of the hospital, buildings I never knew existed, but by glancing at one of the many signs leading to the building, I knew it was where we were heading. The Mental Health Counselling Centre.

Being here, I felt out of place, I felt as if I were waiting the therapists time, surely they had other people to see, people in worse conditions than myself. Sure I needed help, but maybe not from doctors which could be helping others.

The waiting room was cold and grimy, around the edges of the uniformly clean room. As if the cleaner scrubbed at the centre of the room, and gave no knowledge to the collecting dust in the corners.

Gerard kept a hold of my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. I could only trust myself to look up at Gerard a few times, never having the confidence to look at his face, but I didn't have to. I already knew I would find his eyes still rimmed in red, and his neck was bobbing in a tell-tale way which gave away the fact that he was holding back tears. Holding them back in public at least.  
A man came into the room, he was young looking, and yet he still had hardly any hair ontop of his head. He was wearing a pink short-sleeved shirt, and grey slacks. He glanced around the room, looking at the few people waiting and smiling at every one of them until his eyes landed on Gerard and myself, “I assume one of you is Frank?” the man smiled in an overly friendly way and waited patiently until either one of us answered.

I slowly nodded my head, gripping Gerards hand tight as he stood up, encouraging me to join him.  
Together we followed the man down the very narrow hallway, narrow so much that we had to walk in single file, Gerard holding my hand as I followed him.

Walking into a room on the right hand side of the corridor, we followed the man in. The room was painted a lilac colour, and the open window was moving the blinds, causing them to hit back to the window, making small scraping sounds. The room hand seven push chairs which were quite low to the ground and had straight backs.

To be honest, it was nothing I expected a shrinks room to be like. Where was the big oak desk, the long recliner, the colourful rug?

“Please, take a seat.” The man said, sitting down in one of the chairs that made a circle. Gerard carefully pulled me over to a seat and sat down in the one next to it, so that we were sitting opposite the man. “It's nice to meet you both, I am Doctor Travels.”

Gerard cleared his throat and introduced us both to the doctor, and when he asked for us to tell him about our life, our family our pack. Gerard told him everything, about how we met, about how I had run away when I found out he had planned for us to mate. Gerard told him about the raid, and about his father. Gerard left nothing out, not even our sex life. I sat, and blocked them out, spacing out, letting my eyes wander around the room, starring at the open window, and listening to the blinds tap against the window in the breeze.

“...uhu... Now Frank? Gerard is just going to wait outside for a bit while we talk okay? Is that alright?” Snapping my eyes back to the Doctor, I starred as I let his words sink in, and before I could comprehend what was happening, Gerard gave a squeeze of my hand, letting it go, and then walk out of the room, leaving me alone with the Doctor.

Taking a proper look at the Doctor, you could tell he really cared about what he does. You could tell he was a caring man. The silence in the room stretched on, and the tapping of the blinds against the window seemed to increase in volume.

Doctor Travels stood from his seat and came over and sat where Gerard had just been sitting. He made me feel slightly uncomfortable, and what he was explaining was in through one ear and out the other. He sighed after a while, obviously noticing that I wasn't paying attention to him, but to the blinds which continued hitting the window.

I gasped in surprise as I felt something rest on my lap. Flinching I looked down to see a small black book and a pen had been placed there. “Now Frank, this is just a little notebook. Gerard said you haven't communicated at all, and so if you can't talk, thats okay, just try and communicate by writing to us. Its not hard, and I know you know how to write.” Doctor Travels continued to smile as he spoke to me, “So... It's nice to meet you, I am Doctor Travels.”

Smiling up at the Doctor, I flipped open the notebook, and carefully wrote with shaking hands, 'It's nice to meet you Doctor Travels, I am Frank'.


	29. Robust Body, Fragile Mind

I'm fucking horny okay. All the fucking time, or at least it seems like it. Maybe its just the moon. It sounds romantic and everything, but really its a curse. Its my fucking reproductive cycle screaming at me to mate, well shut the fuck up dick and but. Anal sex is exhausting. I don't want to be horny right now thank you very much. I just want to have a normal fucking day. “ohh frank, sex would be a great idea right about now...” No brain! Shut the fuck up.

Walking from the hospital, the notebook was clutched firmly to my chest. I felt light, I felt free. This is the best I have felt in a long time. Tilting my head back, I closed my eyes and let the sun soak my face, the crisp winter air whispering through my hair, and leaving prickles of the cold weather over my cheeks.

Turning around in a tight circle, I could see Gerard smiling walking to catch up to me. I had spoken to Gerard for the first time in over a week. Not verbally of course, but through the notebook, I could talk to him. I had spent hours writing my feelings down to Gerard, everything I had wanted to say to him over the past week. Everything, he knew everything – far more than what I could ever have told him through speaking. It was like opening my soul to him, finally giving up my thoughts, and letting him see the way my mind clicked.

My chest was light, and I felt unstoppable. I could do anything, I could be anyone. But thats not to say all my problems are fixed, of course not, I am not naïve. Dr Travels suggested another session next week or earlier if I felt the need to see him sooner. He had encouraged me to communicate with as many people, as often as possible; and also agreed that taking time off of my job would be a good idea for the time being.

Gerard was mere inches from me, his eyes capturing the light and making his hazel orbs gleam with a spark that had been missing for a while.

Leaning down he pressed his lips to mine, clasping his hands softly around my cheeks, and shielding them from the wind which whipped his hair against our faces. His lips were soft and warm, and lingered gingerly against my own, our own language.

Smiling, I pulled away. Smirking up at Gerard as I wriggled from his hold. My lungs quivered against a giggle, and the noise startled both Gerard and myself.

With shock I looked down at my chest, bringing my hands up to press above my heart, as if I were able to see a visible change that had allowed me to giggle.

“That was beautiful Frankie,” Gerard spoke huskily, slightly keeling over to rest his forehead against my own, “I am really turned on right now baby.” Gerard whispered, moving his lips down to my ear, and lightly nipping at my ear lobe. Giggling at the tickle of his lips, Gerard groaned and grasped my shoulder tightly in his hold. “Car. Now.” Gerard ordered, turning us both around and moving us over to the car parked amongst many others in the carpark.

Without so much as an explanation Gerard opened the back door to the car, and pushed my shoulder down, forcing me to sit in the car. Looking up at him through my eyelashes, just looking at him caused a rush of blood to my cheeks and further down my stomach, a heat building and growing, leading my actions as I scooted further into the car along the back seat so that I was fully spread out on the leather. Gerard kneeled down onto the seat between my legs, turning back to close the car door with a bang before he leaned forward and kissed my lips again.

This was so surreal. So fucking cliché, I couldn't stop giggling, and couldn't help myself grin at the reaction it was causing Gerard. He became increasingly dominant. Pushing me to lie flat against the back seat, the top of my head bristling against the other door.

Gerard growled, leaning down and kissing my neck, supporting his weight on his elbows positioned below my arms which wrapped around his neck, my fingers curling in his hair. Whereas his lower body was flush against mine.  
Licking my lips and wishing I could moan to show my appreciation, I put that thought to the back of my mind, moving my hips against Gerards, lifting my hips from the seat only to have them firmly pushed back down from the snapping of Gerards hips as he happily moaned, groaned and bit into my neck, keeping the rhythm steady and no doubt rocking the car in clear daylight of one of the hospital car parks.

“Uh, Frankie baby, what I wouldn't do to your sweet little ass if we had more room right now,” Gripping at Gerards hair tighter, feeling my stomach clenching, my thighs shaking on either side of his hips, he continued to talk, “Fuck! Frank, I would flip you over the edge of the bed... bend you over... ah! Fuck, Franie!... I would push your shoulders down into the mattress... I would fuck you so hard baby, oh! Fuck, you're so pretty, you're so-” Gerard stilled, his ragged breath hitching as he looked through the window above our heads, watching as someone walked past the window, getting into the car right next to us.

Gerard's face was pure shock, innocent looking. Innocent even in a situation like this. Laughing brought Gerard back to me just as the car pulled away.

“I would do anything you want forever as long as you never stop laughing. I love you.” Gerard smiled, rocking back into a rhythm, hiding his face in my neck until he shuddered to a hault, thrumming with his moan, grasping at my shoulders and pulling me with him as we both orgasmed.

~

We both had guilty expressions when we handed the keys back to the workers in the mansions car garage, and tried to play it off by walking as normally as we could, trying to draw attention away that we had just dry humped in one of the packs cars, and still have pants full of sticky fluid.

Nether the less, we were all smiles as we made our way into the mansion, Gerard congratulating Mikey and Bob on their pregnancy, for the both of us, and then trying to escape from them both as quickly as possible.

When we finally got to the room, Gerard ran a bath, and helped me gently into the warmth of the bubbles. Gerard smiled as he too slipped out of his clothes and joined me in the bath.

It was peacful and relaxing, and was perfect. The innocents of knees knocking together amongst the bubbles and shy smiles passed back and forth.

Gerard suggested going to watch a film before bed, and so it wasn't long until we were both cuddled up in the mansions tv/cinema room. Gerard wearing a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie, with his arms wrapped tightly around me as I sat on his lap, bundled up in my winter pyjamas.

In the dark, Gerard would stroke my hair softly and kiss my nose every time I yawned. Just as I was dropping off to sleep, Gerard manoeuvred out of the chair, carefully replacing himself with me. “I just remembered I need to make a phone call. The film is nearly over. I shouldn't be long though. I'll come back for you, but I'll be in my office if you need me.” Gerard whispered, smiling in the darkness, and leaning down to kiss my forehead.

Without Gerard I couldn't find sleep, and so I sat watching the rest of the film, every now and then glancing around at the others in the room, and wondering about what they were thinking.

The credits rolled and Gerard still hadn't come back. Without thinking too much of it, I got up from the seat and stretched before making my way to Gerard's office, once Donald's office.  
Walking down the various corridors, passing others in pyjamas looking tired heading to bed, I finally got to the door leading into the office.

The door was slightly ajar, and peaking through, I could see Gerard's back, as he faced away, one hand on his hip while the other was attaching a phone to his ear.

Creeping through the doorway, I made my way over to the desk, slinking down into the large desk chair, and pulling my knees up, smiling at Gerard when he noticed I had entered.

“... Yeah.... No, That would be great Frank, Sir...” Gerard smiled at me when he noticed my confusion, 'your dad' he mouthed, pointing to the phone, “No, Uhu, yeah, I would really appreciate the help to be honest... Maybe... Its just I don't know what to do...” Gerard looked like a little boy scolded, his head was hung, and he was picking something at the edge of the desk. “... Would you like me to organise anything?.... No, uhu.... okay, well I'll see you shortly then...”

Gerard's voice was lulling me to sleep and no matter how hard I tried to stay awake to hear what was happening, my body had different ideas.


End file.
